• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3b
    oei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

H

hai.saih

New Member
May 14, 2024
3
it feels like my entire life ive dreamed of suicide. last year however life threw me a bone and like the idiot i am i believed something could go right for once..

now im in another country thousands of miles from ""home"" soon about to have my visa revoked . so ill have to return to the hell which i came knowing i was dumb enough to think i wouldnt fuck this last chance up for myself.

its easy to get a gun in my home country, so my plan after landing back is to get myself a last meal, have a nice sleep, and wake up the next morning and go get myself something to blow my head off with.

i just dont know how to feel I guess. sitting here waiting for my life to march me towards my end. i feel at peace but also anxious, at peace in my anxiety I guess. my gf is in the other room and keeps trying to assure me things will be ok, and it just breaks my heart even more bc once i leave it wont just be her to never see me again but anybody.


I really hate this earth. I hate that since the day I was born hope was dangled over me like a carrot on a stick and I fell for it time and time again. I hate that I have to leave so many good people here because I simply don't belong on this earth. They deserve better but I don't, because even if I got it I would still see this existence for what it is..
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: landslide2, dggtscccvfd and iloverachel
I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,198
Hello and welcome my friend, I am sorry you are in so much pain and i wish you peace
 
  • Like
Reactions: hai.saih
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Tortured by evil humans
Sep 24, 2020
35,213
I hate this world as well. It's really the most hellish place, I'm sorry for your suffering, I wish you all the best.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hai.saih
lkjhgfdsa1

lkjhgfdsa1

šŸ–¤
Apr 17, 2024
425
omg I am in the same situation
getting kicked out of the country I am in today !!! about to board my flight in a couple hours
I have to return "home" but that place is a hellhole and the reason why I left in the first place and now reason to kms
If it were easy to get a gun in my country, I'd get it too
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: landslide2
H

hai.saih

New Member
May 14, 2024
3
smalll world. im so so sorry. its such a painful process. i hate what these countries and their governments can do to us , just effectively taking our lives away and throwing us away like garbage .
 
  • Like
Reactions: landslide2
lkjhgfdsa1

lkjhgfdsa1

šŸ–¤
Apr 17, 2024
425
smalll world. im so so sorry. its such a painful process. i hate what these countries and their governments can do to us , just effectively taking our lives away and throwing us away like garbage .
Where did you stay?
 

Similar threads

NEVberten
Replies
0
Views
98
Suicide Discussion
NEVberten
NEVberten
Shinobu
Replies
1
Views
192
Suicide Discussion
MM's the name
M
daee
Replies
4
Views
201
Suicide Discussion
daee
daee
Kokonoe
Replies
2
Views
159
Suicide Discussion
ADBoy777
ADBoy777
author
Replies
4
Views
364
Recovery
pollux
pollux