Venting its not fair that i have to deal with this shit

[vultureilse]

theres just so much wrong with my brain. rn im going through one of these periods of time where i get so incredibly paranoid and my intrusive thoughts almost start bordering on delusions. im so fucking anxious its like being stuck in a constant state of the fight or flight response. i feel so unsafe even though theres logically no reason for that but my brain just doesnt care

and i know the things im paranoid about are not real and im being ridiculous but no matter how much i remind myself of that it doesnt help with the anxiety at all. i just hate that i have to deal with shit like this and theres nothing i can do about it why the fuck do i have to go through this

also love it when people tell me that itll get better or that i can go through it or whatever other bullshit while not having a single idea of how terrifying some of my days are. its so stressful and exhausting and i dont want to have to deal with it my brain cant be fixed my mental issues can be managed but not completely cured and i dont want to deal with them doesnt matter if it gets better ill still be mentally ill!!! and i dont want to be alive if i have to suffer everyday because im sick in the head and my fucking brain doesnt function as it should

 

[Teardrop2021]

theres just so much wrong with my brain. rn im going through one of these periods of time where i get so incredibly paranoid and my intrusive thoughts almost start bordering on delusions. im so fucking anxious its like being stuck in a constant state of the fight or flight response. i feel so unsafe even though theres logically no reason for that but my brain just doesnt care

and i know the things im paranoid about are not real and im being ridiculous but no matter how much i remind myself of that it doesnt help with the anxiety at all. i just hate that i have to deal with shit like this and theres nothing i can do about it why the fuck do i have to go through this

also love it when people tell me that itll get better or that i can go through it or whatever other bullshit while not having a single idea of how terrifying some of my days are. its so stressful and exhausting and i dont want to have to deal with it my brain cant be fixed my mental issues can be managed but not completely cured and i dont want to deal with them doesnt matter if it gets better ill still be mentally ill!!! and i dont want to be alive if i have to suffer everyday because im sick in the head and my fucking brain doesnt function as it should

I know.....I just wish I could be in non-existence right now. I wish I was never born.

 

[whywere]

Hi!
I have had paranoid issues since day one, s I say this because I truly care about you and I at least of somewhat of an idea of your situation.

I 100% agree with you as far as I so dislike it when folks tell me that it will get better and they have ZERO idea of each and every day the issues I work through.

Every day I catch my brain starting to go down the paranoid road and I have to work through it.

Reading your post made me sad for you BUT also, I truly got a strong sense of just how caring, thoughtful and kind that you are. I say this because you are a person care about yourself and others, like me, in the fact of acknowledging that one has things to work through and still come out on top of the situation.

I have massive depression, BPD, paranoid issues, heck everything and with the love and help of the entire SS family I manage a lot better now.

I send you lots of huge hugs, love, kindness and please feel free to message me any time if you would like to talk, I want the very best for you. Sorry, but I have always worn my heart on my sleeve.

You are a beautiful spirit and thank you so much for letting me be a friend to/for you.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing really can be torture and it does sound so awful what you have to go through. It certainly isn't fair, it's tragic how all this suffering continues to be experienced. I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.