throneofdispair03
is a mistake
- Jan 10, 2024
- 236
After going to a psych ward, everybody is acting very weird around me... like I'm a rabid animal that's going to off themselves with anything I can get a hold of.
In collage, there's like 3 social workers sitting behind me at all times, monitoring my screen and seeing if I'm following along with the lecture. If they dare see me look at something that isn't on topic it means they have to look thru my history. Also, I'm not allowed to leave the building for the entirety of the day because I am required to be on constant supervision (going to the bathroom is a challenge as well). At home, I am forced to go on walks and play cards with my manipulative mother. In random times of the week, my room is to be searched for any possible signs that may indicate a plan. Same searches happen with my body. My mother blames my depression and suicidal tendencies on my diet, so she micromanages that as well.
At this rate, I don't even know If I can even make a recovery with the way the people around me have been adding this additional pressure. It's like they're trying to make me kill myself. All of this suicide prevention bullshit is so dumb. That's all they're doing... preventing suicide. They aren't doing anything to fix the issue, just trying to prevent me from offing myself and forcing medication down my gullet. The only positive thing they've done is give me a therapist (whom I have to constantly lie to because of the risk of hospitalization again)
This is a shitty world
In collage, there's like 3 social workers sitting behind me at all times, monitoring my screen and seeing if I'm following along with the lecture. If they dare see me look at something that isn't on topic it means they have to look thru my history. Also, I'm not allowed to leave the building for the entirety of the day because I am required to be on constant supervision (going to the bathroom is a challenge as well). At home, I am forced to go on walks and play cards with my manipulative mother. In random times of the week, my room is to be searched for any possible signs that may indicate a plan. Same searches happen with my body. My mother blames my depression and suicidal tendencies on my diet, so she micromanages that as well.
At this rate, I don't even know If I can even make a recovery with the way the people around me have been adding this additional pressure. It's like they're trying to make me kill myself. All of this suicide prevention bullshit is so dumb. That's all they're doing... preventing suicide. They aren't doing anything to fix the issue, just trying to prevent me from offing myself and forcing medication down my gullet. The only positive thing they've done is give me a therapist (whom I have to constantly lie to because of the risk of hospitalization again)
This is a shitty world
