Venting Its impossible to get along with people

[dead22222]

All of your relationships are destined to crumble in an instant over nothing. I wish everyone had no problems being extremely blunt with one another, holding nothing back ever. I hate holding my true feelings and opinions back just to maintain relationships with people. "Oh well you shouldnt have to do that, your real friends would appreciate you being real." I have those real friends, and no they do not. Practically speaking its fucking impossible to find people who can take on anything you say and not take some kind of offense. I wish people could be unattached in that way. Its the downfall of every single bond ive had with someone else. I open my mouth and speak the truth of what I really think and feel one time and everything goes from there. Im really on the absolute verge of completley letting myself say everything I want uncensored, and not caring a single bit who it offends or whatever. (I do not mean verbally attacking people) I dont care if your feelings are hurt not my fucking issue. Nobody steps in to help me when I feel hurt by something someone else says, people continue to say whatever they please including insults and such as well. So why does everyone attack me when I do it???? Am i just extremely unlucky? I dont understand at all.

Im just done dealing with other peoples double standard bullshit fuck this life. Humans are extremely plastic creatures. Life is too short to be caring about this trival bullshit. Too many things weigh in favor of suicide and it becomes more attractive to me when im reminded of them. So much of my life experience is surrounded in disgust at just how dissapointing things actually are. Humans are a failed species, and god made a big mistake giving some of his animals this kind of intelligence. Its a shame what its been used for.

 

[hmskms]

are you by any chance a heterosexual male

 

[The anhedonic one]

Most humans are stupid and selfish. They absolutely cannot be trusted. This goes for both family and friends.
It's exhausting wearing a mask of normality and conformity to what others expect you to be.
This is obviously much more difficult when you have mental illness and suicidal thoughts.
This society is fake and I have as little as possible to do with it these days.

 

[LastFlowers]

Im really on the absolute verge of completley letting myself say everything I want uncensored

I am right there with you.

Your entire post is very timely and I could have written most of it myself (same sentiments).

The problem is that I have kept my mouth shut for so long, isolated and met the expectation to be a perpetual doormat and to swallow my own pain and suffering or keep it to myself..at the expense of my true personhood…that if I release the floodgates now, after building a massive wall (that was half for my own protection and half for the status quo/benefit of other people) I may completely crumble along with the avalanche of a falling facade.
I think whoever I explode on-regardless of the conspicuous nature of my main struggle-will also be so taken aback and caught off guard that this will compound an already predictively negative response.
When people get too used to you being one way, too used to the convenience of your "grin and bear it" persona..they resent you all the more when you finally decide to be a human being on their level and assert your right to be such, which includes airing grievances..or daring to have a fucking opinion.
They are ironically far kinder to privileged assholes who always got to be vocal than they are to those who were masochistically considerate for the majority of their suffering lives (but finally had enough and snapped).

I feel like a dangerously fragile balloon of a being..bloated with poison that was accrued over a lifetime, held back only by the thin veil of regretful inhuman compromise, compartmentalization, dissociation, fear etc.
If that balloon pops now, with an audience..I think the poison may erode what's left of my coping mechanisms along with the filter I wish to eradicate.
Everything and everyone around me may finally feel the venom that up until now, they've been able to ignore or run away from.
I think rather than empathize, they may choose instead to pin me as the snake…remaining willfully ignorant to what I truly am: a person who took on the burden of a million snake bites.

 

[suicidalloser]

All of your relationships are destined to crumble in an instant over nothing

Why do you speak as though you know me, or everyone?
These crumble by the actions of the individuals involved.

 

[HallucinatedHappy]

So excluding relationships sabotaged by others, sabotaged by peoples expectations, by the media or really any external force is just something we're to ignore for your pseudo-counterpoint?

People are plastic, they're malleable and yeah, really any relationship can crumble for any reason. I had a friend get dumped because his ex thought he wasn't like Tom Hiddleston enough.

 

[Dmoore3232]

Plastic you say?

 

[foreverfalling]

People can have genuine relationships because they are genuinely fake to each other.

 

[SolomonKado]

Please realize when reading this thread it was a person venting and not trying to start a discussion. They were specifically only talking about their own inner hell.

 

[Meditation guide]

Practically speaking its fucking impossible to find people who can take on anything you say and not take some kind of offense.
THIS!