Venting It’s hard to not feel like a failure

[Alive42long]

Throughout my life I feel like I haven't had any victory of my own. I have no job, no family and no formal education despite trying so hard to seek all those things. I almost got married but it didn't work out, I almost finished college but I have no money to pay for the last couple of months I have to attend to graduate.

Yesterday I was fired from my job because of my back pains and I'm feeling suicidal ever since. I have really bad lower back pains but I can keep a job if I'm able to sit for 15 to 20 minutes every 4 hours. Despite that, my boss got scared I could hurt myself during work and then sue the company. He decided to not risk it.

I feel like every aspect of my life is just almost within reach but never there. Never a victory.

I have a really sweet boyfriend right now and lots of friends. I feel really loved by everyone and they'd never let me starve or fail to pay the bills. I just wish I didn't fail again and again. I wish I had at least one victory in my life. Anything I could say I have accomplished and be proud of.

 

[tonicer]

You have a partner and friends? That alone makes you a winner in my book. :)

I am a 42 year old virgin guy who still lives with his mother in her house.
I studied CS and graduated plus i got some important certificates but i can't find a job.
I guess i weird the interviewers out because i always get negative feedback after a week or two.

Being surrounded by nice loving people would be enough for me. All i have is my mother and she is very old now.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I feel you, it's a deep feeling of failure that never goes away, right?

For me, this is the hardest thing to keep me going. I hate myself so much sometimes because of this…

Everyone I know has a better job than me, with better incomes… sometimes I feel okay about it, but sometimes people are mean about it and then I feel like I'm some shitty worthless person, you know? I know every kind of people - from caring, nice people to some really despicable ones - and the worst people are, more money they make lol that makes me feel really stupid…

It's really hard to balance this feeling of failure that I already feel vs the feeling some people makes me feel… the only thing that keeps me going on is love.

sometimes I feel alone and I look at my cat and he is so sweet…

Small things, I guess, are what really matters.

 

[tonicer]

Yeah for me it's also the little things like food or a new anime that releases soon or a computergame i want to play or just getting stronger and maybe finally reach my personal goal of the one hand push up. It's small stuff yeah but it helps me a lot to have a goal. Everyone around me accomplished something in their lives but me ... well i studied that's something but besides that ... meh.

 

[Alive42long]

You have a partner and friends? That alone makes you a winner in my book. :)

I am a 42 year old virgin guy who still lives with his mother in her house.
I studied CS and graduated plus i got some important certificates but i can't find a job.
I guess i weird the interviewers out because i always get negative feedback after a week or two.

Being surrounded by nice loving people would be enough for me. All i have is my mother and she is very old now.

I'm so sorry to hear that. The labor market can be really harsh with people that doesn't meet the standards and that has been a problem of mine for quite sometime now.

I'm autistic and am considered quirky at best, weird at worst. It's okay to deal with it in friendships or dating, but being rejected while seeking a job harms my self-esteem a lot.

I hope you can surround yourself with wonderful people! For me what has worked is finding people who are as weird as me.

I feel you, it's a deep feeling of failure that never goes away, right?

For me, this is the hardest thing to keep me going. I hate myself so much sometimes because of this…

Everyone I know has a better job than me, with better incomes… sometimes I feel okay about it, but sometimes people are mean about it and then I feel like I'm some shitty worthless person, you know? I know every kind of people - from caring, nice people to some really despicable ones - and the worst people are, more money they make lol that makes me feel really stupid…

It's really hard to balance this feeling of failure that I already feel vs the feeling some people makes me feel… the only thing that keeps me going on is love.

sometimes I feel alone and I look at my cat and he is so sweet…

Small things, I guess, are what really matters.

I feel you so much!

There were months that I cried myself to sleep due to financial anxiety, not knowing if I'd be able to pay for my bills or to eat. And, like you, what keeps me going is also love.

I feel much calmer now, and what worked for me is realizing how many qualities we got in ourselves that unfortunately are just not profitable, so we gloss over them. I'm sure you can find many qualities within you that is overlooked by our labor market!

I really hope this realization of mine can help you aswell!