Venting It’s hard to not feel like a failure

[Alive42long]

Throughout my life I feel like I haven't had any victory of my own. I have no job, no family and no formal education despite trying so hard to seek all those things. I almost got married but it didn't work out, I almost finished college but I have no money to pay for the last couple of months I have to attend to graduate.

Yesterday I was fired from my job because of my back pains and I'm feeling suicidal ever since. I have really bad lower back pains but I can keep a job if I'm able to sit for 15 to 20 minutes every 4 hours. Despite that, my boss got scared I could hurt myself during work and then sue the company. He decided to not risk it.

I feel like every aspect of my life is just almost within reach but never there. Never a victory.

I have a really sweet boyfriend right now and lots of friends. I feel really loved by everyone and they'd never let me starve or fail to pay the bills. I just wish I didn't fail again and again. I wish I had at least one victory in my life. Anything I could say I have accomplished and be proud of.

 

[tonicer]

You have a partner and friends? That alone makes you a winner in my book. :)

I am a 42 year old virgin guy who still lives with his mother in her house.
I studied CS and graduated plus i got some important certificates but i can't find a job.
I guess i weird the interviewers out because i always get negative feedback after a week or two.

Being surrounded by nice loving people would be enough for me. All i have is my mother and she is very old now.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I feel you, it's a deep feeling of failure that never goes away, right?

For me, this is the hardest thing to keep me going. I hate myself so much sometimes because of this…

Everyone I know has a better job than me, with better incomes… sometimes I feel okay about it, but sometimes people are mean about it and then I feel like I'm some shitty worthless person, you know? I know every kind of people - from caring, nice people to some really despicable ones - and the worst people are, more money they make lol that makes me feel really stupid…

It's really hard to balance this feeling of failure that I already feel vs the feeling some people makes me feel… the only thing that keeps me going on is love.

sometimes I feel alone and I look at my cat and he is so sweet…

Small things, I guess, are what really matters.

 

[tonicer]

Yeah for me it's also the little things like food or a new anime that releases soon or a computergame i want to play or just getting stronger and maybe finally reach my personal goal of the one hand push up. It's small stuff yeah but it helps me a lot to have a goal. Everyone around me accomplished something in their lives but me ... well i studied that's something but besides that ... meh.