its getting harder

[kaleido777]

all i do these days is imagine someone loves me. im stuck and i feel like my only option is to fade as quietly as possible because everything hurts all the time and everyone is tired of hearing about it. my cat is the only reason im still here, my dad will probably die before her and i dont want her to be alone. what did i do to deserve this life?

 

[human909]

I also imagine as i'm lying down in bed looking at ceiling that hopefully someone out there knows how i feel and actually truly loves me. The fact that i am still alive even hurts to think about, because all i do is try to hurt people mentally with my intrusive thoughts even though i am trying not too.

 

[OTanerd]

Life is often unfair, and then I start to think that life itself is not an entity that rewards us when we do good things or punishes us when we do something wrong.


Many times, I also try to escape my reality by imagining that I have a good life, surrounded by people who love me and care about my well-being—until I crash back into the reality that this is not truly my day.


I hope you can feel better, no matter how you choose to handle this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it painful to exist, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[kaleido777]

making a list of things to do before i ctb. theres no way im ever going to be happy even if i somehow manage to get out of this house. im so tired of being rapunzel, but theres a funny little guy named ruger in my house who can help me when im ready :]

 

[soonnotkoei]

Life is often unfair, and then I start to think that life itself is not an entity that rewards us when we do good things or punishes us when we do something wrong.


Many times, I also try to escape my reality by imagining that I have a good life, surrounded by people who love me and care about my well-being—until I crash back into the reality that this is not truly my day.


I hope you can feel better, no matter how you choose to handle this.

i used to do that a lot, imagining a good life where im happy, with all my friends, and doing whatever i love. but it hurt me more than provide escape, leaving me with a sense of "i will never have that kind of life."
i then stopped doing that, stopped giving myself false hope.

all i do these days is imagine someone loves me. im stuck and i feel like my only option is to fade as quietly as possible because everything hurts all the time and everyone is tired of hearing about it. my cat is the only reason im still here, my dad will probably die before her and i dont want her to be alone. what did i do to deserve this life?

i hope for the best for you and your cat OP.