Venting it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep going

[hauntedglass]

I want to recover, I want to get better and live a life where I'm not depressed, where I'm not thinking about CTB so often, but it feels so fucking difficult. I'm on SSRIs and they've helped a little, but they've made me really numb to everything. Roe V Wade was overturned, LGBT+ rights are probably next, school shootings...the news is so horrible every single day and the people in my life are so ignorant and religious. Just want out of it all. Everything's starting to feel grey and sad again, despite the bright colors of summer, I feel I'm still stuck in winter – grey skies, no leaves on trees, the frigid cold that sinks in your bones and never really leaves.

That kind of tired that comes from depression is back too. I hadn't done this since childhood, but lately I've been making up this fantasy world in my head to daydream about. It's much better than real life, and I keep finding myself wanting to spend all my time there.

Maybe I should talk to my doctor about changing medications or something. Continuing to go on just feels exhausting. Even thinking of my partner hasn't been helping lately, I don't know why. Just so so fucking numb and tired. The only things that bring me any sort of happiness lately are ramen (like good ramen from a restaurant), and these kind of childish idyllic hopes for my future, oh and that fantasy world I mentioned I guess. Just, nothing I plan ever seems to work out. Withdrawing myself from my friends again. Money troubles. Family drama. Life is so bleak.

 

[BetweenRadioStations]

I hear you.
cheers*
I also would like to get better yet it seems so impossible

 

[DerTod]

I want to recover, I want to get better and live a life where I'm not depressed, where I'm not thinking about CTB so often, but it feels so fucking difficult. I'm on SSRIs and they've helped a little, but they've made me really numb to everything. Roe V Wade was overturned, LGBT+ rights are probably next, school shootings...the news is so horrible every single day and the people in my life are so ignorant and religious. Just want out of it all. Everything's starting to feel grey and sad again, despite the bright colors of summer, I feel I'm still stuck in winter – grey skies, no leaves on trees, the frigid cold that sinks in your bones and never really leaves.

That kind of tired that comes from depression is back too. I hadn't done this since childhood, but lately I've been making up this fantasy world in my head to daydream about. It's much better than real life, and I keep finding myself wanting to spend all my time there.

Maybe I should talk to my doctor about changing medications or something. Continuing to go on just feels exhausting. Even thinking of my partner hasn't been helping lately, I don't know why. Just so so fucking numb and tired. The only things that bring me any sort of happiness lately are ramen (like good ramen from a restaurant), and these kind of childish idyllic hopes for my future, oh and that fantasy world I mentioned I guess. Just, nothing I plan ever seems to work out. Withdrawing myself from my friends again. Money troubles. Family drama. Life is so bleak.

SSRIs always made me numb and didn't help much with depression. Give SNRIs a try. My family is also religious and ignorant af it's like they are straight from the dark ages.You have a partner and that's good.Maybe you can move away from family like i did.A hobby like painting or drawing could also help your mind stay occupied and away from your family and the bleak reality.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is such a cruel, unfair and awful world that we live in. I am also tired and I know that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I can imagine that it must be so exhausting trying to recover and yet for things not to go the way you want them to. I'm sorry that you are in this situation.