Venting It's all because of true loneliness

[bret217]

I've come to the realization that the loneliness in my life is the real reason why I've been pursuing the end. I'm a sufferer of severe and enduring anorexia nervosa, and needed an out for if that became too debilitating. The real reason for looking into things really is the problem that I have, being the severe loneliness, isolation, and constant physical pain that I'm in. It's hell. As a guy there really is no sympathy for me either. People just tell me "you better eat and get better". I wish I could be expressive in real life and tell them to fuck off, but I'm a bit too polite for that in person.

I don't know how anyone could want me as a partner at this point. I recently found out that there is a good likelihood that I'll never have kids because of what my body has done to preserve itself too. I Have testosterones levels in the double digits, and have for a long time. I've gained slight gynecomastia as well over the years. I don't look normal and nobody wants to put up with the bullshit that's me (and that's assuming i was ever recovered, I'm not and can barely climb a flight of stairs even if i take a break to prevent me passing out.)
I feel like my only hope is finding a fetishist or something and living a sad life as the best case scenario if I don't ctb.

I don't know how do you guys see my situation?

 

[terribleatnames571]

i think that the worst part about loneliness is how much harder it gets to overcome with time. some people just find good people to be with early on, and some don't. and the longer it takes, the harder it is to introduce yourself to other people and the more you get judged for it. i think that most of the people that are lonely are truly just unlucky. although just know that not everyone is an apathetic asshole who doesn't understand what loneliness is like, and that, even if it's just some internet strangers like me, some people do genuinely value all human lives, including yours. i'm not telling you whether you should or shouldn't do anything because that always sucks and i don't think it should be up to anyone other than you. i just want you to know that i wish you the very best, whatever that may mean to you.

 

[outrider567]

Acute loneliness, I feel it every day, every moment, and have felt it for two long years now--Someday, I won't put up with it anymore