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pelicanportal

pelicanportal

life could have been beautiful
Jan 28, 2026
133
logically. forced-living bagguts screech at me "life is precious", but if it is then where are you when anyone needs help? this just makes the most sense. i cant deal with this anymore. it is completely over.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: violetforever, Forever Sleep, TwistedNightmares and 1 other person
A

Archerbanshee

New Member
Dec 30, 2019
2
Same here. You see, I have a small debt.

During this period, I've learnt from my life that the basis of love is money. That's not what I wanted. So after clearing my debt, I intend to switch off and cut ties with everyone I know, goto a mountain side and have 100mg Sodium Nitrate mixed in water.

Sound cool ain't it. 😁
 
pelicanportal

pelicanportal

life could have been beautiful
Jan 28, 2026
133
living on borrowed time. i actually think i have two avenues on tolerable ways out. one is the dream, or as close as possible to it. sn is the other of course. the dream method i think is becoming slowly less impossible, to extremely risky but possible.

life circumstances randomly put me in an industry that uses preferred "dream" method. i kept thst knowledge in the back of my mind, but i inched forward this week unexpectedly when someone naively just spilled key information to me, unprompted. so it is a patience game now. will i ever get an opportunity? i suppose i am living on borrowed time until i can find out. it feels a little divine, like divine intervention. god either hates me so much he wants me to die too, or dying was always a part of the plan for reasons i do not get to know in this life. but i feel like things may be piecing together in this way for a reason.


and if that all goes to shit, then i guess there's still sn.

continuing to have hope at my age with my circumstances is a joke. i am the clown. i give in now, and simply must wait for the right moment to act.

"laugh, and the world laughs with you. weep, and you weep alone."
 
S

scoba32

Member
Dec 31, 2025
46
living on borrowed time. i actually think i have two avenues on tolerable ways out. one is the dream, or as close as possible to it. sn is the other of course. the dream method i think is becoming slowly less impossible, to extremely risky but possible.

life circumstances randomly put me in an industry that uses preferred "dream" method. i kept thst knowledge in the back of my mind, but i inched forward this week unexpectedly when someone naively just spilled key information to me, unprompted. so it is a patience game now. will i ever get an opportunity? i suppose i am living on borrowed time until i can find out. it feels a little divine, like divine intervention. god either hates me so much he wants me to die too, or dying was always a part of the plan for reasons i do not get to know in this life. but i feel like things may be piecing together in this way for a reason.


and if that all goes to shit, then i guess there's still sn.

continuing to have hope at my age with my circumstances is a joke. i am the clown. i give in now, and simply must wait for the right moment to act.

"laugh, and the world laughs with you. weep, and you weep alone."
bro wdym the dream
 

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