It has gotten so bad

[Some place nice]

I don't know if I can handle living with my mom anymore, my mental illnesses are crippling so working is hard for me and I end up quitting. I have tried so many times to get better in my lifetime, I was good for two days, I was talking to my mom, and she told me not to yell, I was only a little loud I get loud when I'm excited, I saw her chuckle to herself, "Loudmouth." That broke me, I am insecure about the volume of my voice bc every day for most my teen years that's all she would comment on that and my weight. She kept telling me that I'm too much for people, and the worse one... that I am a burden on her. She is the reason I have so many problems, she knows just what to say to get me in a bad way again. She doesn't like me happy; I fight back When I'm happy, but she doesn't like me too sad cus then I don't do anything and stay in my room all day. She wants me broken, alone, miserable. I'm done with it all, I might end up ctbing to or tonight, idk, I don't want to but at the same time I do and the part of me that does is stronger rn so we'll see what happens later on ig, I post a goodbye thread so y'all know if I did it. I just don't want to be near her anymore, I don't want to hear her voice anymore, I don't want to be hurt by her anymore, I'm done with her.

 

[annointed_towers]

I live with my dad and he is constantly criticizing me. My weight, my hair, my skin, etc.

 

[slightoverlooked]

im so sorry ur going thru that. it makes me sad to see that ur mothers behaviour is pushing you in this direction. i hope yk that the way shes behaving is a reflection of her own personality. i hope u can get away from her and surround yourself with good people. pls try to not do anything impulsive because if there is a part of you that wants to keep going then i would hold onto that. ur still worthy of love and there r so many ppl that might love you how you are <3

 

[Forever Sleep]

Is there any way you can move out? If you're working, you must have some money coming in. Even a house share maybe? Personally, I think it's important to get away from toxic people in life. I did feel at least better when I moved out at 18. That was uni though- I was lucky there. I guess it's much harder when you don't have that framework. Do you have friends who are looking to move out? Can you see if you can rent with them? I guess it's so hard though without some savings behind you.