Venting it feels embarrassing to want to die all the time.

[catboy]

It feels like I have no reason why I should want to, but I still feel this way. I have a great job, make more than enough to live on my own (with my cat!), I love my family (I'm giving a speech at a wedding soon!), regularly have sex, etc. and yet this feeling persists. I basically just bragged and all it does is make me feel even more embarrassed to feel this way. I have things in my life that ostensibly give it meaning and yet all I can think about is wanting to escape. escape what? who knows!

I think about it almost every day. and it's exhausting. it makes no sense. I have nothing to point at and say "this shit makes me want to kms", it's just a feeling of no longer wanting to exist, nonstop. and not because anything traumatic happened. this all makes talking about it that much more difficult, so I'm living every day with these thoughts floating around my head unless I find something to distract me.

all I know is that it's gotta wait. I can't leave my cat alone.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

we cannot control our brain chemistray, sometimes its just in the cards for us to have a messed up head. your feelings are vaild and you are not suffering any less than anyone else. your feelings are yours and no one can take that away <3

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

I know the feeling exactly, I have it every day too. Sometimes it's better and sometimes I don't even understand why I have it, and then there are days where I completely understand it. You are not alone. I actually think most people here have similar thoughts, otherwise they wouldn't be here. I haven't gotten much out of all my psychological sessions because most of it feels like, "WHY" "YOU'RE NOT NORMAL" but I'm increasingly thinking that quite a lot of people feel that way, and I hope for you as well as for me that you get better days you will see.