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M

murakamicats

Member
Oct 6, 2022
30
It's definitely bad enough, I just need my method.
 
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Rainy_days

Rainy_days

Experienced
Dec 21, 2022
256
It isn't. I don't know where the threshold will be or if there even is one. I've come very close in the past. Don't really belong on this forum I guess.
 
S

SeeminglyFine

Mixing pills with potions under the smoke alas
Jan 2, 2022
83
Ive injured myself permenantly in order to be more motivated to end myself,ended up entering a different dimesions of states of mind followed by drugs addiction... too bad.

anytime something bad happens i can feel myself numbing up in a matter of seconds like i took a percocet or something, so my mind will probably handle things by numbing me or by increasing drug cravings
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
Make no mistake about it, i absolutely hate my life and being me. I am just not dead yet due to SI and guilt. I am also waiting to see if i am going to get paid back by my mom or not.
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Huge gap between a shitty life and ending it… Billions of people are living shitty lives…
 
Szinuus

Szinuus

I see the bus...I can almost see it
Aug 19, 2022
211
It is. Chronic pain wont go away at itself.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,338
In my case, of course the only reason as to why I actually continue enduring this existence is because of the difficulties, complications and risks involved in suicide and just the fact that suicide feels like an impossibility for me, it feels like it's something inaccessible. If suicide is much easier I would be long gone by this point and if I had some kind of risk free painless method I would be instantly free from this awful world.

Life itself is something which is bad enough to make me wish to die, and all of the endless disadvantages that come with existing certainly make suicide seem so very appealing. To die is all that I've ever really wished for, it's something that is so ideal to me and I refuse to reach old age so I will eventually have to find a way to overcome all of the difficulties involved in suicide unless I die from other causes. So to answer the question, it's not anything life related that holds me back, it's rather just the going through with the act of suicide itself.
 
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J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
My life at this time is great. The reason I seek ctb is in anticipation of it becoming incredibly bleak and adverse in the future. I need to not let that future come.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,353
My life at this time is great. The reason I seek ctb is in anticipation of it becoming incredibly bleak and adverse in the future. I need to not let that future come.
Are there actual signs right now of those things happening or is it just the chance itself of them happening that is motivating your CTB?
 
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Shu

Shu

As above, So Below.
Jan 21, 2022
2,487
My life isn't fucked up, I'm fucked up.
 
hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,229
I have been ready for so long, I have been done and set for years. It couldn't get any worse by this point. I am just a coward.
 
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
Are there actual signs right now of those things happening or is it just the chance itself of them happening that is motivating your CTB?

It is the inevitability of these things happening and there being no positive alternative. It's a very long story but my life is going to become very, very bad and the only way to prevent this inevitability is ctb.
 
A

affinity

Member
Oct 8, 2021
73
The past month and a half have been very trying and I was convinced it was time, but I kept trying/kept hoping that *this* would be the turning point and things would get better.

Those hopes have now all been dashed and unless a miracle will be arriving at the 25th hour, I'm finally on the proverbial doorstop, knocking to get in.

False or misplaced hope truly is one of the cruelest things in the universe.

I'm just trying to decide on location - if will have to be a place where I know my cats will be temporarily safe. I think I know what I'll do (and where) and while the old me would have felt guilty, the person I became earlier today doesn't GAF, not anymore.
 
J

jay308

Member
Jan 16, 2023
58
I can improve my life condition if i want to. But I dont want to. I am not here because my life is bad. I am here because I caused pain to others.
 
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epic

epic

Enlightened
Aug 9, 2019
1,812
I can improve my life condition if i want to. But I dont want to. I am not here because my life is bad. I am here because I caused pain to others.
What happened ?
 
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Citruscine

Citruscine

dead in the head
Mar 8, 2022
53
Fortunately my life isn't that hard from external factors, however internal factors like my mental and physical illnesses make me rather not live. At the moment, the burden my death would leave on others exceeds the burden living is causing for me right now, but if things take a turn for the worse, I'd be prepared to ctb in the future (issues of si not withstanding)
 
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