Venting Is this the feeling?

[lonergirl_26]

Things are bad right now
I've always been okay and then not okay sometimes the not okay turns to really not okay that's when I do silly attempts
Things are really not okay
I tried to overdoes Saturday i felt ready I even wrote a note for my mum
I just felt ready
I'm no longer in that state but still bad
I think I feel the 'hole' feeling that people describe
I'm not content with anything
Always feel I need something to hold onto something to fill this hole
I need to ctb soon but worried about messing it up
Partial hanging seems the best option not to fail but I don't feel like it is how I should go

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Partial hanging seems the best option not to fail but I don't feel like it is how I should go

I think most people who kill themselves die in a way that they see as less than ideal. I think if most of us could, we would choose to die by pentobarbital or something like that - a "designer suicide". But of course anything that allows a peaceful death is heavily restricted.

If you are in a state right now where you are "bad", but maybe not actively suicidal this can be a time to possibly think about getting better. I am currently in a similar state, and really at this time if you are alive but unhappy and not currently in the mindset to end your own life, the options are either try to get better or just wait until you get worse again. The sad truth is you are very unlikely to get better by just floating through life - you will either stay the same or get worse. Recovery often is possible, but it takes effort!

I know it feels at times like this that there is too much thinking to be done, but sometimes that is all there is to do :)