Help Is this even BPD?

[lovelulu]

I'm not yet diagnosed with BPD despite having a concerning amount of symptoms—but this one thing is making me unsure. When you split with BPD, it's usually like an outburst and you kind of take it out on others and it's noticeable (please correct me on this if it's incorrect). When I feel like 'splitting', I want to show it so badly but I refrain from doing so. For example, when I was in a fight with my FP, I wanted to tell her how much I hated her. I had an urge to block her too. But I refrain from doing so, afraid I would loose her if I did. But I was so angry but i just couldnt. Another example is when my friends were ignoring me and leaving me out. I hated them so much at that moment—I wanted to yell at them, that I noticed they were ignoring me and that I hated them so much. I dont know if these are symptoms of BPD anymore because I don't necessarily show it, if you know what I mean.

 

[bipolar22]

Theres is subdivisions of bpd pne of them being called quite bpd. Instead of having emotional reactions outwards tou swallow them. Usually until you finally explode from all the build up pressure. Splitting is a defense mechanism when the person with it feels they might be abandoned. Its not really taking it out on others its more like if they gonna leave me anyway they are betraying me so we get angry. Or sad. But that doesnt mean we take it out on the person. Also could lead to just self hsrm or drinking or isolating oneself. Its very diverse ans no case is like thr other.