Discussion Is there anything that would stop you ctb

[oopswronglife]

Fantasy wise: A new healthy body and two very important people back alive and healthy.

Reality wise: Money and proper healthcare.

But really the reality is a fantasy as well because nobody cares. Especially not in "everyone for themselves Murica". That's what I resent the most. That there is a way for me to live, a realistic one, but it's denied because it doesn't benefit or profit anyone. I did my part. Behaved like we are all taught as children by hypocritical adults who don't follow their own demands...caring, sharing, empathy, love etc. It was a one way street with 99% of them. When I needed it I got blamed and ignored. Fuck people.

 

[Deleted member 15256]

I used to read a lot and I find it very difficult now too.

Right? I got lost in the pages and words. Used to be so simple and entertaining

 

[Dunwitlife]

If the very little family that I had would treat me fairly and not abandon my daughter and I. Also if my daughter's father was alive, and having the motivation for life- I just don't see the point in anything and do not enjoy anything at all. I just have no motivation to try anymore and haven't for a long time now. Having major depression for almost thirty years and it has not gotten better no matter what I do and nobody cares.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Dog person, preferably rescued pits. It's honestly cool to have watched their friendship grow. Day one, I thought my big one was going to kill the little one. Now she lets her cuddle her. No paws were manipulated for the photo, I just checked on them, and they were cuddling lol.

 

[faust]

I used to read a lot and I find it very difficult now too.

Same problem I do experience nowadays. Used to read tens and hundreds of books

Right? I got lost in the pages and words. Used to be so simple and entertaining

I often reread what I just read because I have a brain fog

 

[MeatPopsicle]

Oh dear, seem to have hijacked the thread, I do apologise. I tried to do that with another thread too by way of a soupy penis reference but it didn't work. Mind you I don't think it's possible to derail the Sink thread.

Derailed?

 

[faust]

Derailed?

That's me after long days of insomnia

 

[MeatPopsicle]

That's me after long days of insomnia

Seems like my life with or without insomnia

 

[OddOne]

Stan coming back from the grave (go to it vampire)
All my medical and mental health issues cured.
I hit the lottery.
I suddenly got friends and family

Stan was a trooper. A model poster in this forum. I wish I would have gotten to know him more.

 

[Jean4]

Stan was a trooper. A model poster in this forum. I wish I would have gotten to know him more.

He's my favorite topic.. and one of the reasons why I am still here. He told me I was not permitted to follow him ;)

 

[OddOne]

For me I want to be in a job I am happy with. I gave up on finding partner year ago. Same with having good friends. (I've met some good people, but I dont trust them. It's better that way.)

Just a job that's cool and allows me to reach my financial goals. Then I can be happy outside my job playing vidya and napping and getting a dog to do all the cool things with.

 

[MeatPopsicle]

Ummm is this thread going off topic?

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Winning enough cash not to have to rely on government handouts and not living with the threat of eviction

 

[BPD Barbie]

Money. That's really it now. I've been fortunate that I found recovery but still have my life in pieces due to what I did when I was ill and the holes I dug myself into. I'm in so much debt, living on handouts, constantly worrying where my next meal will come from. But I'm alive so I guess that's something.

 

[Ham Commander]

A time machine

 

[faust]

Money. That's really it now. I've been fortunate that I found recovery but still have my life in pieces due to what I did when I was ill and the holes I dug myself into. I'm in so much debt, living on handouts, constantly worrying where my next meal will come from. But I'm alive so I guess that's something.

I am glad you found a recovery! Really nice to hear you found the way out

 

[sickInsominic42]

To not be in physical pain all day, for my organs to stop rotting but most of all
Being able to be a mom to my two beautiful daughter, who deserve a mom who isn't sick all of the time

 

[DeadD]

I feel like no one hears me. Everyone in my life says they do, but they don't understand that they're not getting the picture. They have an idea of what I'm saying instead of actually seeing me. It's the main reason I'm ready to go. I've literally never connected with another person and felt like they were actually hearing me. It's like shrieking and begging for help while being surrounded by people just staring at you

maybe if I felt actually seen and heard I would feel differently about going. But considering I've made it this long without, I doubt it.

 

[itsbigbraintime]

You know what? Yeah, a lot of things. But most of those things require me to actually go seek out help(which doesnt work a lot of the time), or put in a lot of effort. I'll be honest, I don't want to do that.

 

[squirtsoda]

I would love to say yes. But I know my mental illness would get me in the end either way. However, if that mental illness wasn't so severe, the following would help....

1. My true love coming back to me - and erase from all memory that she cheated on me
2. Have a cute puppy that would live forever
3. Undo a certain surgery that was done to me to make me more American (I'm not, I'm just a citizen) and more like my dad without my knowledge when I was 9 - impossible at this current juncture, although regenerative medicine is making strides
4. Move away from this godforsaken hellhole called the Chicago area. It's all flat, painted in 50 shades of shit and 50 shades of grey.
5. Have my neurological and mental issues removed so I could continue my passion of flying helicopters and airplanes, I am ATP certified in both.
6. Get rid of all my debt. I'm capable of it, it's just going to take too long for me to endure. I make good money and have a stable job. But my schooling cost $350k USD.
7. Erase all memory of the bullying and humiliation I've endured through the years.
8. I have nothing against being bi in some ways, but I wish I could have either been straight or gay. It would have saved a lot of headache and heartache.

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

hope. if only i had hope.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Not being mentally ill

 

[issyishere]

a billion dollars and for all my health issues to go away

 

[elacnt]

I know it seems silly but, the person I love deciding to give me a chance.
Having my beloved cat back.
Not feeling like I have no value, I'm a waste of time, that I'm a burden and don't deserve any good, not feeling like shit all the time, like I'm not good enough anymore. But the chances of all of these things happening are below zero, so...

 

[Dystopic_Momento]

If I had enough money to keep a home and not go homeless/if Social Security did the right thing (and now, not after I'd already been made homeless) I'd choose to live more than just this year.

If we weren't still suffering from the repercussions of leaving an abusive man years back, and he didn't keep finding new disturbing ways to affect our lives. If I didn't have memory issues, constant pain, difficulty staying awake, and signs of dementia and other scary more physical things that have been ignored by doctors or things I can't afford to fix and could get some of my other medical problems taken care of then I'd probably not choose it at all.

Or if I were miraculously cured of all disabilities and didn't need those bastards.

If it wasn't required to live to fill out constant paperwork I really can't anymore without any help, if the government organizations, institutes and charities that are paid to help actually did instead of causing new awful problems and new crises on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. If the people around me physically were actually kind and there were less predators. If I suddenly had a new supportive extended family instead of the one I was born to - If everything in this post wasn't a problem CBT wouldn't be a thought. It'd be something I dreaded.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I already feel dead, not giving a shit about my future is what's keeping me alive but I know it'll catch up with me eventually. I'm just waiting for the breaking point

 

[l0sing]

My boys being back with me. I can't stand to see them with other people knowing I'm innocent. It kills me.

 

[Half_lost]

If I believed things would get better, If I believed I could be happy.

 

[Cutepoison]

Only if I could turn back time to a year ago.

 

[randomz]

For me I want to be in a job I am happy with. I gave up on finding partner year ago. Same with having good friends. (I've met some good people, but I dont trust them. It's better that way.)

Just a job that's cool and allows me to reach my financial goals. Then I can be happy outside my job playing vidya and napping and getting a dog to do all the cool things with.

The same for me. Just a job that I can do and can allow me to enjoy all the other stuff that life offers.