Is there any reason to keep myself living this bored and numb world?

[Waiting for death]

I tried to live a normal life, I used to have dreams and aspirations. I had everything to be successful in my career, but depression appeared in my life, I have mild depression and I'm completely obsessed with my own death . Now, in my 26 years old, I see no point to live, I have no ambition, no plans for the future.

I've never had a girlfriend or someone by side, no friends, etc. I'm bored because my days are monotonous (get up, take care of personal hygiene, chores, eating, etc). There are some days where I really I want to catch the bus, at nights, in my bedtime, I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.

I'm completely hopeless, everybody is normal in my family. They work and take care of themselves. I'm the only one single without any profession or perspectives for a better future.

Behind my fake smile, I hide my sadness, frustration and anger. I don't want to let anyone know that I'm depressed and planning to die one day. There are days and nights, where I can't stop thinking about to harm myself ( testing hanging or taking some poison).

I wish I could catch the bus in New Year's Eve, but I'm afraid of failure. This is my final word considering the date, it's decided it's gonna be on new year's holiday. I can't wait.

Sorry for being too dramatic my friends and I hope you understand what I meant my English is a bit rusty.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd be looking forward to being free from this existence, to peacefully fall into an eternal sleep is also what I wish for of course. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[Saxenomorph]

Literally me, i had great ideas for future but life on the other hand had different plans for me, now i'm stuck in a boring reality for the rest of my life. I rather die than live a repetitive life.

 

[Waiting for death]

I understand why you'd be looking forward to being free from this existence, to peacefully fall into an eternal sleep is also what I wish for of course. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

Thank you very much my friend, I'm really enjoying my time while still here in this forum, I can't wait to go away.

Literally me, i had great ideas for future but life on the other hand had different plans for me, now i'm stuck in a boring reality for the rest of my life. I rather die than live a repetitive life.

We're definitely together!