Venting It’s getting hard to keep going

[l5xington]

I'm losing a lot of my will to keep living. Every day is a new problem and my mental health is deteriorating. I can't tell if my relationship with my boyfriend is toxic or not. I can't tell if my friends hate me or not. Time passes in really weird ways and I get upset in the worst ways and worst moments. Everything is a problem to me. I was supposed to be on 200mg of Lamictal but I stopped taking it because it felt like a waste of time, and guess what? It was. My brain and my body are so disconnected I don't think any medication can help at this point. Whatever illness I have that is causing this isn't my business anymore. I can't find a reason to keep going. I've been sleeping all day and cutting at the worst moments of it all, even though I thought I outgrew sh. Nothing feels like it matters anymore.

 

[LostHighway]

I'm losing a lot of my will to keep living. Every day is a new problem and my mental health is deteriorating. I can't tell if my relationship with my boyfriend is toxic or not. I can't tell if my friends hate me or not. Time passes in really weird ways and I get upset in the worst ways and worst moments. Everything is a problem to me. I was supposed to be on 200mg of Lamictal but I stopped taking it because it felt like a waste of time, and guess what? It was. My brain and my body are so disconnected I don't think any medication can help at this point. Whatever illness I have that is causing this isn't my business anymore. I can't find a reason to keep going. I've been sleeping all day and cutting at the worst moments of it all, even though I thought I outgrew sh. Nothing feels like it matters anymore.

If you were prescribed Lamictal, does that mean you're bipolar? If you are, you need to stay on medication, no? It sounds like you're experiencing some paranoia. If you have to question whether or not your relationship is toxic, it likely is toxic. And if you're doubting whether or not your friends hate you, then find a new set of friends!! But, again, this could all be because of your bipolar illness or whatever that's causing you to see things in a warped way. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you can stay on the medication to stabilize yourself.

 

[l5xington]

If you were prescribed Lamictal, does that mean you're bipolar? If you are, you need to stay on medication, no? It sounds like you're experiencing some paranoia. If you have to question whether or not your relationship is toxic, it likely is toxic. And if you're doubting whether or not your friends hate you, then find a new set of friends!! But, again, this could all be because of your bipolar illness or whatever that's causing you to see things in a warped way. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you can stay on the medication to stabilize yourself.

I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar, my psychiatrists and therapists assume I do and I started the medication to see if it would help. I know my relationship is probably toxic but I get so physically ill thinking about leaving I don't think I ever will…. Probably another reason why it's toxic .

 

[LostHighway]

I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar, my psychiatrists and therapists assume I do and I started the medication to see if it would help. I know my relationship is probably toxic but I get so physically ill thinking about leaving I don't think I ever will…. Probably another reason why it's toxic .

Is your partner narcissistic? If so, I can share an excellent video about narcissistic abuse. There are so many people who have been in your place who are able to break free, and they feel SO MUCH HAPPIER! You just need to be financially able to do so.

 

[l5xington]

Is your partner narcissistic? If so, I can share an excellent video about narcissistic abuse. There are so many people who have been in your place who are able to break free, and they feel SO MUCH HAPPIER! You just need to be financially able to do so.

He's definitely got some narcissistic tendencies, but if he's bad I'm worse . I'm not as much worried about his effects on me as my effect on him.