Help Is there any light hearted stories you wanna share.

[continuing]

I was reading no longer human, and i came to the realization that is making me feel way worse than good, i guess for now is better for me to stuck with some light hearted stuff, so if you wanna share any, i would appreciate.

 

[Pluto]

 

[continuing]

thats actually sweet, thank you

 

[martyrdom]

For background, I am known to local police and have several times been arrested, detained and gone to court. One time while riding across the city with my motorcycle a cop had stopped me for a routine license check, recognized me, and said "How is the family? Have you lost weight?" It was hysterical at the time.

Another time, in jail, I decided to teach my comrades the Arabic alphabet to pass the time by writing on the wall with matches. When we got to the letter ع, (which sounds kind of like "ah", from the back of your throat, generally very hard to pronounce for non-native speakers) I was trying to explain how to pronounce it so you had about 10 guys repeatedly going ahhh... ahhh..... ahhh..... ahhh... in the cell, for like 20 minutes. The guard came to check on us genuinely disturbed, saw everything is well and when he walked away we heard him tell his co-officer "I thought they were having an orgy in there."

 

[continuing]

For background, I am known to local police and have several times been arrested, detained and gone to court. One time while riding across the city with my motorcycle a cop had stopped me for a routine license check, recognized me, and said "How is the family? Have you lost weight?" It was hysterical at the time.

Another time, in jail, I decided to teach my comrades the Arabic alphabet to pass the time by writing on the wall with matches. When we got to the letter ع, (which sounds kind of like "ah", from the back of your throat, generally very hard to pronounce for non-native speakers) I was trying to explain how to pronounce it so you had about 10 guys repeatedly going ahhh... ahhh..... ahhh..... ahhh... in the cell, for like 20 minutes. The guard came to check on us genuinely disturbed, saw everything is well and when he walked away we heard him tell his co-officer "I thought they were having an orgy in there."

thats actually very fun

 

[nocatwaslost]

I was once at a security check at an airport and had a turnip cabbage in my bag. They took me to the side because they thought it was a bomb lol

 

[Ariii]

dropped my phone under the table and left it there bc i was too lazy to pick it up. guess who spend two hours trying to find it the next day...

 

[whywere]

OMG! I was called in with a jury summon in the mail today.

I called about getting an extension and I found out because of my age in the state here in the U.S., that I am exempt from jury duty for the rest of my life. I was going to have to dump my Hawai'i holiday and now, I will be sitting on a sandy beach with a cold soda in hand.

Walter

WOW!

THANK YOU!!!!!

BEAUTIFUL!!!

Walter

 

[trying ungracefully]

My boyfriend tried to show me that he could lift me up because I am insecure about my weight. He showed me he could pick me up alright because I get launched into hitting the ceiling fan with my head (low ceilings) and I thought I got a concussion with how hard I hit. Now we just laugh about it.

Also how I bent down to pick something up infant of my boyfriend and he lifted my computer at the same time and smacked me right in the face with it. We always accidentally hurt each other, I get him in the balls by accident a lot which I feel so bad for lol.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I was reading no longer human, and i came to the realization that is making me feel way worse than good, i guess for now is better for me to stuck with some light hearted stuff, so if you wanna share any, i would appreciate.

I relate to that. I feel like I can't enjoy heavy stories rn.
There's a really funny (and kinda heartfelt) book on Wattpad called "The Mighty Morg" about a washed up dragon slayer trying to kill the dragon who lowkey ruined his life. It's a surprisingly sweet (and IMO quite funny) story.

 

[tarnishedstoner]

I met my current uni friends on the first day of college. I didn't know anyone obviously and a senior decided to take me on a tour and just meet the other first years. There was a group of first years jamming. The senior I was with, without any warning, introduced me as a 3rd year. Well then, i kept up the lie for a couple of days after which I told them the truth. It was funny when they were asking questions about the University and i made up the most absurd answers and some of them were genuinely terrified and were second guessing their choice. To this day, whenever we're together they tell this story to others.

Also if you like Japanese literature, why not try The Housekeeper and the Professor if you want something light-hearted?

 

[continuing]

haha

dropped my phone under the table and left it there bc i was too lazy to pick it up. guess who spend two hours trying to find it the next day...

haha i do that too be careful with that
thank

I relate to that. I feel like I can't enjoy heavy stories rn.
There's a really funny (and kinda heartfelt) book on Wattpad called "The Mighty Morg" about a washed up dragon slayer trying to kill the dragon who lowkey ruined his life. It's a surprisingly sweet (and IMO quite funny) story.

you i will look that up
i will, thanks for that

 

[FoxSauce]

One day I was laughing so hard I choked on fanta and that really burned

 

[leloyon]

For background, I am known to local police and have several times been arrested, detained and gone to court. One time while riding across the city with my motorcycle a cop had stopped me for a routine license check, recognized me, and said "How is the family? Have you lost weight?" It was hysterical at the time.

Another time, in jail, I decided to teach my comrades the Arabic alphabet to pass the time by writing on the wall with matches. When we got to the letter ع, (which sounds kind of like "ah", from the back of your throat, generally very hard to pronounce for non-native speakers) I was trying to explain how to pronounce it so you had about 10 guys repeatedly going ahhh... ahhh..... ahhh..... ahhh... in the cell, for like 20 minutes. The guard came to check on us genuinely disturbed, saw everything is well and when he walked away we heard him tell his co-officer "I thought they were having an orgy in there."

The Sansu post of all time. This deserves to be framed.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A few of my favourite stories:

When 'War of the Worlds' first came out- those giant three legged robot type creatures that tried to take over the world, a drunken farmer raced for his shotgun and shot at a water tower! I imagine in an anebriated state- a water tower would look just like one of those things. I love it that he was prepared to defend the earth too.

There was a story in the papers once of a boy who had picked up a penguin in a zoo exhibit and put it in his rucksack. His Mum found them in the bathroom staring at one another. I think the penguin was ok. Amazing it didn't peck him. Really though- not all together innocent. It's really damaging for their feathers to be touched.

Another farmer story again. A guy built an amazing mock Tudor castle and hid it behind hay bales. He didn't have permission and it was built on greenbelt land:

Demolition of Surrey 'hidden castle' almost complete

The demolition of a mock Tudor castle, built without planning permission, is almost complete.

www.bbc.com

Kind of makes you wonder what the point was of making it look so beautiful if it always needed to be disguised! Maybe there's some loophole in the law that if it stood for long enough, it could stay.

I suppose they do need to uphold the law not to build on greenbelt land without permission but still- I think it's a shame he was forced to pull it down.