Is there any girl who just wants to chat?

[muffin222]

I realize that. I just have a really hard time believing those relationships bloomed from some random person making a thread asking to talk to girls and then talking about his libido to said girls in the first conversation, like OP has done.

Building a friendship with someone on here that turns into a relationship, I understand. Posting a thread that reads like a Personals Ad, I don't. It just seems very desperate and inappropriate.

There has actually been several people who have gotten together from meeting each other on this forum alone.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It just seems very desperate and inappropriate.

Kind of similar to, you know--killing yourself, then?

 

[muffin222]

Kind of similar to, you know--killing yourself, then?

Um, no. I don't even understand why you make posts like this, honestly. It seems like you enjoy purposefully making troll-like posts, especially when people disagree with you on something. I hesitate to call you a full-on troll, but a lot of your posts border on it.

Wanting to kill yourself when you've been hurt, abused, and mistreated for years on end is understandable. It's not desperate and inappropriate to want to die when you're suffering constantly for years on end with no remission in sight. It's self-preservation, from the brain's point of view.

It is inappropriate and desperate to try to use a site full of vulnerable people as a dating site and make sexual comments to those people in PMs. I wouldn't go to a grief forum or a forum for PTSD and try to find love and dirty talk. Why is it acceptable to do it on a suicide forum?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Wanting to kill yourself when you've been hurt, abused, and mistreated for years on end is understandable. It's not desperate and inappropriate to want to die when you're suffering constantly for years on end with no remission in sight. It's self-preservation, from the brain's point of view.

This is an opinion that will vary from person to person. Some would say that suicide is always inappropriate and so on. Some will say that this attempt at getting affection is inappropriate and some won't. You decide what's "understandable" for you and I'll decide for myself, thank you.

It is inappropriate and desperate to try to use a site full of vulnerable people as a dating site and make sexual comments to those people in PMs. I wouldn't go to a grief forum or a forum for PTSD and try to find love and dirty talk. Why is it acceptable to do it on a suicide forum?

Cool opinion, if it's against the rules then report it? The rules/owner/mods (read: not you) are what decide if something is appropriate on this website.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I will never understand the logic of people who use a suicide forum as a way to meet girls. We don't even want to live anymore- what makes you think we want to be your girlfriend? Ffs

Touché!

 

[muffin222]

This is an opinion that will vary from person to person. Some would say that suicide is always inappropriate and so on. Some will say that this attempt at getting affection is inappropriate and some won't. You decide what's "understandable" for you and I'll decide for myself, thank you.

Cool opinion, if it's against the rules then report it? The rules/owner/mods (read: not you) are what decide if something is appropriate on this website.

I'm pretty sure I can express my personal opinion on what's appropriate and what's not, just as I can express my opinion on your posts and responses to other people on this forum, which are often really bizarre and troll-like, for reasons that I don't fully understand.

Your response to me is even more bizarre given that I didn't even mention you in my initial post. You chose to quote my post, probably in the hopes of starting an argument. Newsflash: not everyone is going to share your viewpoint on everything online. It doesn't mean you need to swoop in and make passive aggressive responses, like the one you made above implying that it's desperate and inappropriate to be suicidal

If you think that, then why are you here??

 

[higgy56]

Kind of similar to, you know--killing yourself, then?

This is so true. How can people come here saying they are suicidal when they have so much left they're willing to hold onto like their ideologies and criticisms. Their feeling of suicidal desperation would be thinking of ways to get one last bit of understanding and yet they look down on someone who grabs out for someone in desperation. Very sad when someone kills other with 'help' and intentions.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

like the one you made above implying that it's desperate and inappropriate to be suicidal

Work on the reading comprehension and get back to me

 

[higgy56]

Work on the reading comprehension and get back to me

They think dating sites are fair is my only possible conclusion.

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

Kind of similar to, you know--killing yourself, then?

The thing is, suicide only involves yourself, so whatever you do to yourself is your business. But in this case, it's no longer just about the self when one directly and intentionally involves another being. So, desperation could happen in both cases, however, in one case, you are only involving yourself so the consequences of your actions are only yours to bear but in the other, you are involving another being purposely and intentionally, so the negative consequences of your actions (in their perspective), they will have to bear them and deal with them, willingly or not. These two situations are completely different.

Edit: I'm not here to argue, just sharing and expressing my thoughts, experiences and points of views.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

The thing is, suicide only involves yourself, so whatever you do to yourself is your business. But in this case, it's no longer just about the self when one directly and intentionally involves another being. So, desperation could happen in both cases, however, in one case, you are only involving yourself so the consequences of your actions are only yours to bear but in the other, you are involving another being purposely and intentionally, so the negative consequences of your actions (in their perspective), they will have to bear them and deal with them, willingly or not. These two situations are completely different.

Indirectly harming, directly harming, not really a big difference in my book. I am still pro-choice, guess that needs to be said since some people have trouble understanding me lol.

 

[TessB]

This is so true. How can people come here saying they are suicidal when they have so much left they're willing to hold onto like their ideologies and criticisms. Their feeling of suicidal desperation would be thinking of ways to get one last bit of understanding and yet they look down on someone who grabs out for someone in desperation. Very sad when someone kills other with 'help' and intentions.

Are you really saying that you can't be suicidal but also have ideologies and criticisms? I guess I'm not suicidal then! Thank you for clearing that up for me..

 

[Symbiote]

I'm going to call it how it is. OP is using his suicide to manipulate females into talking to him. He was a 10 out of 10 before he talked to Tess, when she didn't give him the response he wanted, he ramped it up to 20 out of 10 and pin the so called betrayal on her. That is clear and blatant manipulation. OP, yes you're lonely, you have bad days, but no excuse to use your suicide to guilt trip other members because they didn't want to divulge information to you or try to connect with you emotionally. You would think that this tactic doesn't work because I'm sure you tried it with many women in your past. Give them a sob story, overshared too much, and then they leave you because your too much for them to handle. Get women out of your mind, just find some good bros to hang out with, focus on yourself, and stop being manipulative. No one on here is to blame for your suicide, only you.

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

Indirectly harming, directly harming, not really a big difference in my book. I am still pro-choice, guess that needs to be said since some people have trouble understanding me lol.

Yeah, I see. The difference I guess, is in one's intentions. Seeking to end your own pain and life once and for all is different from seeking to use beings for emotional support and to fulfill one's own egotistic urges/desires (sucking the life force out of them to prolong, strengthen or heal your life force or compensate for what's lacking in it), especially when it's not mutually agreed upon and reciprocal...

(By the way, I say "you" in a general sense. I'm not singling you out, gae lol)

 

[Symbiote]

Sanctioned-Suicide would be a horrible dating site. Your relationships will always end up in tragedy. Your relationships will be up and down like a My Chemical Romance song. We can't handle our own emotions, how the hell we going to handle yours too. Sex might be a hit or miss, too depressed to get it up anymore, or too dry like the Sahara desert. Just not good all around, just have friends to talk to and don't give out personal information.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yeah, I see. The difference I guess, is in one's intentions. Seeking to end your own pain and life once and for all is different from seeking to use beings for emotional support and to fulfill one's own egotistic urges/desires (sucking the life force out of them), especially when it's not mutually agreed upon and reciprocal...

Only different in the way you wrote it. Make a similarly flowery description of how suicides destroy the lives around you like fixthe69 Karens and it would seem pretty balanced, no?

 

[higgy56]

Are you really saying that you can't be suicidal but also have ideologies and criticisms? I guess I'm not suicidal then! Thank you for clearing that up for me..

Everyone can be suicidal. I suppose it might disappoint you to know you aren't particularly different to the millions on Reddit or Facebook right now. It is unequal opportunities for suicidal folks to recover and the lower percentage of those who can take the opportunity to get what would give you a future is where you fall and invisible unheard men or womens reaction is unsettling to you.

 

[muffin222]

This is so true. How can people come here saying they are suicidal when they have so much left they're willing to hold onto like their ideologies and criticisms. Their feeling of suicidal desperation would be thinking of ways to get one last bit of understanding and yet they look down on someone who grabs out for someone in desperation. Very sad when someone kills other with 'help' and intentions.

This makes no sense. Truly. It makes zero sense to me.

I'm still a fully developed human being with my own worldviews, perspectives, values, and belief system, despite my being suicidal. My whole life and mind don't revolve suicidal thoughts. My suicidal thoughts don't cancel out the rest of me??? I still went to school, talked to people, read books, participated in society...and all of the other things in life that cause us to form certain belief systems, opinions, and ideologies. Do you think that being suicidal cancels all of that out?


And also, I don't look down on the person. I look down at their behavior, which, frankly seems very manipulative. Desperate was a milder way of phrasing how OP's behavior looks to me, honestly.

Work on the reading comprehension and get back to me

My reading comprehension is fine. I don't agree with the original poster's intentions with this thread. I don't think it belongs in this section, or even on the site at all.

I don't agree with you standing in the thread like a guard dog leaping out at everyone who disagrees with your opinion either, which I also expressed. I don't agree that looking for love and dirty talk on here are in the same realm as talking about being suicidal...on a suicide forum.

And, I say talking about being suicidal, because feeling suicidal and talking about wanting to kill yourself on here don't necessarily mean that a person actually will. There's a world of difference between thoughts and actions. OP's actions are gross, frankly. Being suicidal in and of itself doesn't harm anyone else.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm not singling you out, gae

You're not actually supposed to call me gae, darnit!

 

[TessB]

Everyone can be suicidal. I suppose it might disappoint you to know you aren't particularly different to the millions on Reddit or Facebook right now. It is unequal opportunities for suicidal folks to recover and the lower percentage of those who can take the opportunity to get what would give you a future is where you fall and invisible unheard men or womens reaction is unsettling to you.

I'm so confused. You said in your other post

'How can people come here saying they are suicidal when they have so much left they're willing to hold onto like their ideologies and criticisms.'

and now you are saying

'everyone can be suicidal'

and all the rest of that post I don't even understand what you're getting at at all..

 

[higgy56]

This makes no sense. Truly. It makes zero sense to me.

I'm still a fully developed human being with my own worldviews, perspectives, values, and belief system, despite my being suicidal. My whole life and mind don't revolve suicidal thoughts. My suicidal thoughts don't cancel out the rest of me??? I still went to school, talked to people, read books, participated in society...and all of the other things in life that cause us to form certain belief systems, opinions, and ideologies. Do you think that being suicidal cancels all of that out?


And also, I don't look down on the person. I look down at their behavior, which, frankly seems very manipulative. Desperate was a milder way of phrasing how OP's behavior looks to me, honestly.

I'm not trying to gatekeep being suicidal I just don't think someone is less desperate if they make a thread saying they are desperate for emotional connection which happens every day and no one calls that toxic. If you have had a very fulfilling life then your motivation to come here is to receive reason not to do it. If someone comes here knowing they have limited time left then they will make threads which are begging for one last chance to be not a failure. no ones responsibility falls in anyone but that person to get better but perhaps a bit of correction which does not attack their character as manipulative for having a want which is not your want. Or doing it in private where more public shaming is not added. If you did correct his behaviour then you are driven by a less reactive frame of mind and I applaud you.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If you have had a very fulfilling life then your motivation to come here is to receive reason not to do it. If someone comes here knowing they have limited time left then they will make threads which are begging for one last chance to be nit a failure.

It's a good observation and well put. I'd still rather avoid these phrases of comparison since they can become polarizing and exclusionary to people with good lives but who are still suffering from crippling depression for more genetic reasons, ptsd, chronic pain and so on.

---

I don't agree with you standing in the thread like a guard dog leaping out at everyone who disagrees with your opinion either, which I also expressed.

I'm pretty sure I can express my personal opinion on what's appropriate and what's not, just as I can express my opinion on your posts and responses to other people on this forum,

 

[higgy56]

Sanctioned-Suicide would be a horrible dating site. Your relationships will always end up in tragedy. Your relationships will be up and down like a My Chemical Romance song. We can't handle our own emotions, how the hell we going to handle yours too. Sex might be a hit or miss, too depressed to get it up anymore, or too dry like the Sahara desert. Just not good all around, just have friends to talk to and don't give out personal information.

You are using anecdotal evidence. You have lived with plenty of stories to store in your mind for you to bring with you when you die where sex and basic human interaction was not enough for you or you were disappointed by making rushed leaps into a mans life. Others here fall into the category of desperate because we aren't saying we tried and it wasn't good. We didn't even be allowed dry genitals. So maybe relationships which have failed is actually the real privilege in a society like this.

 

[TessB]

I'm not trying to gatekeep being suicidal I just don't think someone is less desperate if they make a thread saying they are desperate for emotional connection which happens every day and no one calls that toxic. If you have had a very fulfilling life then your motivation to come here is to receive reason not to do it. If someone comes here knowing they have limited time left then they will make threads which are begging for one last chance to be not a failure. no ones responsibility falls in anyone but that person to get better but perhaps a bit of correction which does not attack their character as manipulative for having a want which is not your want. Or doing it in private where more public shaming is not added. If you did correct his behaviour then you are driven by a less reactive frame of mind and I applaud you.

Firstly.. I will admit I am sensitive to certain patterns of behaviour by SOME types of men. I used to be active on a particular internet fetish site where 100s of men would message me and I feel I am a good judge generally of what someone's motivation is having dealt with many many different men messaging me. I didn't even used to care about the blatantly sexual ones, they were just to the point and I more or less ignored them it didn't bother me in that context.. BUT the ones that did bother me, were the guys that seemed genuine and friendly then you engaged with them, then came the moment after a while they would proposition you or something and when you would say no, they'd block you or never speak to you again.. It feels like your friendship is worthless.. they never wanted you for that.
If I'm wrong I'M SORRY! But I think I'm right that OP buggered off out of the conversation when he realised I wasn't available. I mean he was back and forth before that moment then it became clear it would be a no.. 12 hours silence suddenly! And to be honest my last comments had been telling him about my own issues and personal info so I did think that warranted a sympathetic response.
A few hours ago I write him a very nice pm apologising if I made his suicidal thoughts worse. And telling him his optimism in regard to romance is a special thing and any woman would be lucky to have him.. and he's been on line ever since and guess what.. HE DIDN'T BLOODY ANSWER!!

You are using anecdotal evidence. You have lived with plenty of stories to store in your mind for you to bring with you when you die where sex and basic human interaction was not enough for you or you were disappointed by making rushed leaps into a mans life. Others here fall into the category of desperate because we aren't saying we tried and it wasn't good. We didn't even be allowed dry genitals. So maybe relationships which have failed is actually the real privilege in a society like this.

I literally wish there was a confused face emoji right now.

 

[summers]

Sanctioned-Suicide would be a horrible dating site. Your relationships will always end up in tragedy. Your relationships will be up and down like a My Chemical Romance song. We can't handle our own emotions, how the hell we going to handle yours too. Sex might be a hit or miss, too depressed to get it up anymore, or too dry like the Sahara desert. Just not good all around, just have friends to talk to and don't give out personal information.

I don't think this is the case. Dating and relationships are not the same thing. You could date other ss members - go out, have a good time, speak openly and freely. Maybe hook up, maybe not. I do agree that looking for something long-term or serious on here is probably not the right move. For the people in recovery, it could be a good thing to connect with someone who understands what you are/were going through.

Let's keep ss as a support community, not a dating site. Go on tinder, grindr, or pof if that's what you're looking for.

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

Only different in the way you wrote it. Make a similarly flowery description of how suicides destroy the lives around you like fixthe69 Karens and it would seem pretty balanced, no?

Those are unintentional and indirect in the purest sense. I'm sure, the ones who ctb would rather no one was affected by their suicides (some don't care, some want to affect in some way so I guess your point is valid in this case) but that's not what happened and that is rarely realistically doable... But purposely involving someone who isn't even in your life yet and putting them in your life to fulfill your own desires by sucking out their life force can be avoided... It just takes, being okay with and within oneself, I guess, but not everyone can achieve that, I'm aware of it. It is wrong, though, to be resentful and blame those whom you assigned as the ones who must give you what you need, for not giving it to you, when it isn't their responsibility, you aren't their responsibility (some people go for revenge over this kind of stuff, because they believe you owe it to them and it's your responsibility. It's important to be safe from the get-go and stay safe yall). Also, making connections isn't necessarily wrong. It's important to listen to oneself and one's feelings especially when you're the one on the receiving end of the "request" for a connection or something else. It's important to stay alert all the time and to assess the "requester"'s intentions constantly without letting your guard down, if you choose to engage. And the one "requesting" a connection or something else must respect the other person and their choices and boundaries as much as their own. It must go both ways. Sometimes, a person will pretend to respect your choices, standing and boundaries (some will go as far as faking their actual gender or gender identity, saying they "wish" they were a certain gender as was the case of the user I dealt with. Some will also pretend to be similar to you in any way or pretend they certain characteristics and are "seeking" for similar people.) to get you to trust them and open up to them, though. So I again advise yall to be safe and think carefully. Everything can be faked so use your critical judgement, stay alert and be careful. Is it really worth the risk? Remember that. Also, I would advise yall to learn about how to protect yourself, your privacy and anonimity online because it could affect you offline aswell. Look into all the available online and offline tools you can use, research them, learn about them, choose carefully. Look into what actually happens on the internet and how it works, what it can do and what others can do with it (to you and to others). Don't be lazy and brush this off if you're serious about your safety. Stay as safe as possible. You can never be too safe especially in this day and age. Strive to protect yourselves everywhere and in everyway, online or offline, everywhere, all the time. And be very very careful and level-headed.

Again, not arguing, just generally sharing and exchanging for those who might be interested and those for whom it might be helpful. Hehe.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Those are unintentional and indirect in the purest sense. I'm sure, the ones who ctb would rather no one was affected by their suicides (some don't care, some want to affect in some way so I guess your point is valid in this case) but that's not what happened and that is rarely realistically doable... But purposely involving someone who isn't even in your life yet and putting them in your life to fulfill your own desires by sucking out their life force can be avoided... It just takes, being okay with and within oneself, I guess, but not everyone can achieve that, I'm aware of it. It is wrong, though, to be resentful and blame those whom you assigned as the ones who must give you what you need, for not giving it to you, when it isn't their responsibility, you aren't their responsibility (some people go for revenge over this kind of stuff, because they believe you owe it to them and it's your responsibility. It's important to be safe from the get-go and stay safe yall). Also, making connections isn't necessarily wrong. It's important to listen to oneself and one's feelings especially when you're the one on the receiving end of the "request" for a connection. It's important to stay alert all the time and to assess the "requester"'s intentions constantly without letting your guard down, if you choose to engage. And the one "requesting" something must respect the other person and their choices and boundaries as much as their own. It must go both ways. Sometimes, a person will pretend to respect your choices, standing and boundaries to get you to trust them and open up to them, though. So I again advise yall to be safe and think carefully. Is it really worth the risk? Remember that. And be very very careful and level-headed.

Again, not arguing, just generally sharing and exchanging for those who might be interested and with those for whom it might be helpful. Hehe.

Good post, and I am glad we're not arguing with each other

I think the small difference between us is that I don't really believe in "right" and "wrong" in this sense (due to knowing why humans/apes developed it in the first place). But I can say that I'd rather people not feel the need to behave in this kind of way, by way of feeling complete and happy just being on their own. It's kind of a tall order tho, especially on a suicide forum.

 

[higgy56]

No one on here is to blame for your suicide, only you.

Reported for saying someone deserves to die. Keep your hateful attitude on Twitter.

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

Good post, and I am glad we're not arguing with each other

I think the small difference between us is that I don't really believe in "right" and "wrong" in this sense. But I can say that I'd rather people not feel the need to behave in this kind of way by way of feeling complete just being on their own. It's kind of a tall order tho, especially on a suicide forum, lol.

Yeah, I see. I understand.

Edit: Sorry, just wanted to add something. Just be careful you guys. Always. I cannot stress that enough. Think carefully, clearly, calmly and rationally. And listen to your own feelings. Do so ahead of time before you even engage with anyone. Put your well-being and safety first. That's all.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]