is suicide sad?

[mariannelle]

I feel a little ashamed that I feel bad when someone commits because this website and I have a pro-choice opinion on life. Feeling sad about someone choosing their own death feels like it goes against the pro-choice mindset. My emotions contradict my philosophies for some reason and I don't know why.

Shouldn't people who believe you can choose to die feel impartial when people actually choose death? not sad?
being sad about someones death seems similar to believing they shouldn't have died. But if I believe they shouldn't have died, how can I call myself pro-choice?

I feel an incredible amount of sadness whenever I hear someone took their own life. why?

I have a lot of questions about this contradiction but I think a lot of those questions can be answered with a general question.

does suicide make you guys sad? if so, how can you be pro-choice on life but feel bad if someone chooses death?

glory glory. i want to marry every single one of you.

 

[offbalance]

I think it's still sad because of the things that lead people to CTB. You can still be pro choice and recognize the unfortunate causal factors

 

[gottacheckout]

A person can feel sad if someone they know ctb, you will miss having them in your life. But at the same time support the right to choose. My dad had cancer that spread throughout his body, he was in severe pain just sitting in his chair or in bed. I spent the last 4 days with him making sure he got to do whatever he wanted to do.

On his last day we had a hospice nurse there for support. She mixed his slurry and gave it to me to hand to him. He drank it as I sat on his bed. After he finished it I held him in my arms and before long he just drifted off and stopped breathing. I have always been a death with dignity proponent but I have no problem saying that this tested my values more than I imagined. It was so peaceful that it reinforced my beliefs.

 

[Sleeper System]

Suicide is probably one of the saddest things that a human can experience both from ones own prospective aswell as an outsider looking in.
Having empathy isn't a violation of a pro-choice philosophy. It gives it meaning by stressing the un-natural nature of the situation.
It's a disturbance in the natural order of life. It feels very wrong and it is very wrong. However, that doesn't mean it's not justifiable to our brain.
It's a difficult balance to keep but it's not impossible. It's not black and white. It's a grey area that needs more exploration and understanding.

I feel sad when it comes to all aspects of sucide. From my own desires to watching others fall into their own despair.
Sometimes it can make you feel happy because of the sense of relief we feel that person will obtain and we hope to some day possess.

 

[Dejected 55]

I think it's sad that for many it has become the only viable positive choice for them to look forward to. I don't want to die or be dead. I want to be happy. I want to experience so many things that I know I will never get the chance to experience. But I am at a point in life where the only good thing to look forward to is the end. So it can be what I want and still be sad. And I can still feel empathy and sadness for others who have come to that same conclusion.

 

[ringo99]

Life is sadder

 

[Gloom Designs]

Yeah, I'd say it's sad. Like most on this forum, I support people having the option to end their life, but I see it as a last resort. I certainly wouldn't encourage someone to ctb, but if they think it's the best choice they have, I understand.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Of course we can hold rational philosophies that don't necessarily align with our emotions. For example, many people feel that the most sadistic criminals deserve the death penalty, yet as a society we've adopted a philosophy that universally bans it. Such a dichotomy can happen within the same person, too: they may feel so disgusted with a crime that they wish the death penalty on the perpetrator (or worse, torture), but at the same time, they can hold the belief that the death penalty should be outlawed. I suppose it's not so much "rationality vs emotion," but which emotion you give priority to. In the case of being pro-choice, you place more value on someone's autonomy than on your belief that suicide is a loss. Nothing wrong with that, most of us exist somewhere on that spectrum.

With that said, I personally don't tend to feel sad for the person who CTB'd, apart from the fact that they had to suffer so much before arriving at their final resting place. (As Emil Cioran said, "You always kill yourself too late"). I do, however, always feel bad for their loved ones. I know their grief must be searing, and what matters to me most is the suffering of the living; the dead don't cry.

 

[Crow_88]

I'd say no. It's freedom.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I feel a little ashamed that I feel bad when someone commits because this website and I have a pro-choice opinion on life. Feeling sad about someone choosing their own death feels like it goes against the pro-choice mindset. My emotions contradict my philosophies for some reason and I don't know why.

Shouldn't people who believe you can choose to die feel impartial when people actually choose death? not sad?
being sad about someones death seems similar to believing they shouldn't have died. But if I believe they shouldn't have died, how can I call myself pro-choice?

I feel an incredible amount of sadness whenever I hear someone took their own life. why?

I have a lot of questions about this contradiction but I think a lot of those questions can be answered with a general question.

does suicide make you guys sad? if so, how can you be pro-choice on life but feel bad if someone chooses death?

glory glory. i want to marry every single one of you.

I think in terms of the sadness associated with suicide depends.

The doctor I worked under in oncology committed suicide he had a loving family (from all appearances), kids, great career, basically from an outsiders perspective the life you would want. Hundreds of people showed up to his celebration of life. So yeah that's really sad for many reasons like what happened. It's the type of thing that makes waves.

Me? No. The things in life you want aren't available to me. Effectively not for me. A hollow life. That I cannot change. People also decided that I am not someone worth helping to change my life. And I don't have the tools, ability, or anything available to change it. It was stolen (literally) from me. So no if I committed suicide in terms of the knock on effects for others no it wouldn't be sad. And you can't look at my life and see what is happening, know it is happening, hear me begging for help and do nothing. Then claim post hoc that things are sad. You made the decision it wasn't. You decided it wasn't. For me if I died my suffering ends. There is no one to suffer for.

 

[bananaolympus]

Well dying in general is sad but also living a life of hell is so is less sad i think

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

If someone is suffering extremely or about to be in extreme torture why is it sad to escape that torture with suicide?

why is it sad for me to escape hell or extreme suffering? Death won't be bad for me 1 micro second after my brain dies i will just go back to the state i was in before they brought me into this nightmare to before i was born. Death = non-existence as before i was born. so why is it sad that i can't suffer unending extreme torture , extreme suffering or constant unbearable pain any more , that i can's suffer ever never feel any pain nor suffer any problems nor bad memories ever? my suicide is not sad to me but the best thing possible. why would someone want to prolong my suffering since i am going to die anyway. we all will die anyway no matter what.

Death is non-existence forever never any chance of suffering pain problems nor bad memories.

to me what's sad is this nightmare called life imposed on me and the possibility of even worse extreme torture. my suicide is the escape from this hell not sad . i'm going to die anyway so i have to suffer extreme torture and then die anyway for what reason?

i see my suicide as the escape from a nightmare , the saviour not something sad. what's sad is all the extreme suffering that can only happen while human or other sentient animal is alive not while dead. when alive the brain the machine is on so unbearable pain is probable or ongoing. when Dead the brain the machine is off forever

for what reason do i have to live another minute in this hell?

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I don't think it's either/or, it's both. When a kid moves away from home to go to college, sometimes the parents are sad and even cry for a bit, but at the same time they know it has to happen and is for the best. That's probably an inappropriate comparison. But the point is, yes some things are sad, but preventing them would be sadder. I think it really depends on the situation. If someone has made a clear rational choice, that's different than if they misunderstood what someone said to them, for example.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

personally i find the reasoning behind suicide is what determines if it's sad or not. like if someone is dying to escape their suffering i would be sad that they had to experience what they did but i'd also be happy for them that they were able to exit on their own terms. in my own opinion from my experience i find the idea of suicide sad as i feel if one's life was better in the ways we wanted it to be we would feel more inclined to live and experience all of it, but because it's not like that suicide being the only option depresses me quite alot. another person dying just generally makes me sad but knowing it was what they wanted makes me feel happy for them. although it's alot easier to smile for those on this forum than it would be if one of my loved ones were to ctb… it's really such a nuanced topic

 

[leloyon]

You know, I thought about this for a while. I remember, back in school, people were discussing the McNutt video, said they couldn't watch it, that it was sad. I thought they were fools, I enjoyed watching suicide videos. Not out of any sadism, but because I felt it was comforting. To see these people who had suffered so much to be brought to this point, to see them finally find peace. Suicide, to me, just being a way of finding peace. However, the fact is that they've still suffered so much in their lives, to do this in the first place, and that is the real tragedy here.
It's not sad that they've found peace, but it's sad that that's the only way they could. Make of that what you will.

 

[Griever]

I think suicide in itself is not sad, just the fact that it had to come to something like suicide

 

[FuneralCry]

It'd never be for me, rather it'd be the opposite, I see existence as the most terrible tragedy and for me ceasing to exist would be the relief, I'll always see it as the most torturous and futile burden to be conscious enslaved in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents and to me existence really is the problem.

I'll just always see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and suffering until all is gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway and to me existence really does feel like a mistake, I'd rather peacefully cease existing than be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it just waiting to die anyway, the thought of being trapped in this existence just to die in agony from old age is so unbearable to me. I'd never wish for any of this suffering and I wish I never suffered more than anything, non-existence really is all that's desirable for me and is all I see as positive, there is no sadness in never suffering ever again rather for me non-existence is the only peace, it's the only relief for me from the torture of existing and it'd solve everything for me, I wish this existence was never imposed more than anything.

 

[ididnotconsent]

I don't think it's either/or, it's both. When a kid moves away from home to go to college, sometimes the parents are sad and even cry for a bit, but at the same time they know it has to happen and is for the best. That's probably an inappropriate comparison. But the point is, yes some things are sad, but preventing them would be sadder. I think it really depends on the situation. If someone has made a clear rational choice, that's different than if they misunderstood what someone said to them, for example.

I agree. I think it's both sad and not. Like you're sad your dog died but he was sick, suffering, and you're glad he's finally at peace.

 

[bankai]

Since it's the individuals choice, I don't believe it's sad. Life up to that point was sad.

 

[darksouls]

it is sad that so many people are in such a bad situation that they cannot find any other way out
more and more people commit suicide out of finiancial need
this is something that could be avoided

 

[angelalexandra]

i think any suicide is sad because if its making rational sense to kill yourself, your life circumstances have to be really bad. in a perfect world, no one would ever have to live through the experiences that make it so it makes sense to kill yourself, but we live in a very imperfect world, and our society puts a lot of effort into trying to stop suicides without actually adressing any of the issues that make people seek it out.

 

[mariannelle]

I don't think I can respond to all of these wonderful replies. I have never met such an active and helpful forum as SaSu. Thank all of you for being so willing to help me. I think suicide is sad because all I want is for people to feel joy; being suicidal typically means you are not happy.

I was overthinking this whole situation so much. thank you all for helping me take a step back and think more rationally. I really do appreciate you all.
glory glory. I would do anything for you guys.



also, feelings can definitely contradict values. that's like, how opinions form.

 

[hopeless302]

I think it's sad that someone experiences so much pain that the viable option from their perspective is to end their own existence... How lonely that must feel.