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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
That's my reason. I want to recreate the good times but keep failing. You're only so young, so healthy, so ignorant of the world for so long. It's like the fruit in the garden of Eden. Once you taste it, it's over forever.
 
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B

Buh-bye!

jkfajsd
Jan 10, 2024
136
You're only so young, so healthy, so ignorant of the world for so long.
could you just explain this line to me ? considering i'm retarded as hell
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
could you just explain this line to me ? considering i'm retarded as hell
Never mwahaha lol

Your youth is temporary and your youth is when you're at most happy. There's a term called "days in the sun" that applies well to that time in our lives.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,839
No, it's part of the reason I want to go. The majority of my happy memories are with people who died years ago. There's no way back to them for me. All I'd get is a bittersweet sadness if I tried to recreate any of them.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
No, it's part of the reason I want to go. The majority of my happy memories are with people who died years ago. There's no way back to them for me. All I'd get is a bittersweet sadness if I tried to recreate any of them.
Do you think we'll ever exist again? I don't know why but I think this whole thing is sad. Normally I'm just fantasizing about it, but then sometimes it feels more necessary and real and its excruciating. But the world is cold and empty for me. I can't work. I can't participate in society except through the internet. This isn't living.
 
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Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
No. It's either reluctance or feeling somewhat better in the current situation. Nostalgia is a cope only getting you so far until you realize it's nothing.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,112
No, nostalgia is meaningless
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
No. It's either reluctance or feeling somewhat better in the current situation. Nostalgia is a cope only getting you so far until you realize it's nothing.
You never look to good times of the past? Never rewatch shows you liked?
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,839
Do you think we'll ever exist again? I don't know why but I think this whole thing is sad. Normally I'm just fantasizing about it, but then sometimes it feels more necessary and real and its excruciating. But the world is cold and empty for me. I can't work. I can't participate in society except through the internet. This isn't living.

I used to buy in to the whole heaven thing- because family members used to comfort me with it. But- that suggests there's a God and, I don't fancy going on to another world created by them. So now, I'm really hoping there's nothing.

I've always selfishly hated the idea of reincarnation too because, that would mean my Mum could now be someone else's Mum and, I'm too mean to share.

I'm sorry you feel unable to participate in society. May I ask why? I guess I'm even somewhat curious when people actually want to! But, that's my own social recluse weirdness. I think we all kind of want what we don't have. I'm at a point where being a NEET sounds so appealing but, I can't afford it.
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
I used to buy in to the whole heaven thing- because family members used to comfort me with it. But- that suggests there's a God and, I don't fancy going on to another world created by them. So now, I'm really hoping there's nothing.

I've always selfishly hated the idea of reincarnation too because, that would mean my Mum could now be someone else's Mum and, I'm too mean to share.

I'm sorry you feel unable to participate in society. May I ask why? I guess I'm even somewhat curious when people actually want to! But, that's my own social recluse weirdness. I think we all kind of want what we don't have. I'm at a point where being a NEET sounds so appealing but, I can't afford it.
I have PTSD and Ocd. Why I want to? Because I enjoyed it when I was younger. I enjoyed interacting with women who were interested in me but now it's a tease because when they find out I don't have a job, they lose interest. My life feels like Tantalus in Hell. Everything is just out of reach.
 
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strangelife

strangelife

Specialist
Feb 16, 2024
368
Nostalgia for the good times only strengthens the desire to ctb, if life had always been the way it is now from birth, it would probably be easier to accept.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
Nostalgia for the good times only strengthens the desire to ctb, if life had always been the way it is now from birth, it would probably be easier to accept.
I agree
 
Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
You never look to good times of the past? Never rewatch shows you liked?
Oh I certainly do look back at things I liked from the past. But it there is only so much nostalgia can give you. So it'd be mainly reluctance or just currently feeling better that would keep me alive.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
Oh I certainly do look back at things I liked from the past. But it there is only so much nostalgia can give you. So it'd be mainly reluctance or just currently feeling better that would keep me alive.
What do you look forward to in each given day?
 
bigmanharsh

bigmanharsh

Living in a cosmic joke
Feb 5, 2024
19
To me it is more of what stems from the nostalgia. The longing to experience more of that, however I can. I love the world, but hate it's people. I love to explore or travel, I want to just give up everything and go live in the woods. But I'm too much of a pussy for that lol. My personal phliosphy is that I've already lived so long, might as well see out my youth to see if something interesting happens, and If i get into some shitty predicament i can just ctb, its a get out of jail free card.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
To me it is more of what stems from the nostalgia. The longing to experience more of that, however I can. I love the world, but hate it's people. I love to explore or travel, I want to just give up everything and go live in the woods. But I'm too much of a pussy for that lol. My personal phliosphy is that I've already lived so long, might as well see out my youth to see if something interesting happens, and If i get into some shitty predicament i can just ctb, its a get out of jail free card.
When is youth over?
 
bigmanharsh

bigmanharsh

Living in a cosmic joke
Feb 5, 2024
19
When is youth over?
Whenever You want it to be lol. I'm still basically a teen ig but I'd imagine around your mid 30's or early 40's? in my mind "Youth" is what I consider to be a period of time where I am physically healthy enough and still pretty new to this world and have many opportunities at my doorstep. I guess these opportunities won't magically disappear when you get to a certain age but It'll become less accesible. I guess It is subjective lol
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
Whenever You want it to be lol. I'm still basically a teen ig but I'd imagine around your mid 30's or early 40's? in my mind "Youth" is what I consider to be a period of time where I am physically healthy enough and still pretty new to this world and have many opportunities at my doorstep. I guess these opportunities won't magically disappear when you get to a certain age but It'll become less accesible. I guess It is subjective lol
Oh em gee willickers, I'm old!

As Tom Cruise said in the movie Collateral, "and then suddenly you are old. You realize you were never really going to do that stuff anyway."
 
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Undertow Mermaid

Undertow Mermaid

Human Centipede is a tour de force
Feb 5, 2023
50
I'm addicted to video games so the sheer will to see the new Dragon Age is keeping me going "Well... I guess I have something to live for..."

Baldur's Gate 3 was really fun, I enjoyed it greatly and it let me cope in a fantasy world for a month.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
I'm addicted to video games so the sheer will to see the new Dragon Age is keeping me going "Well... I guess I have something to live for..."

Baldur's Gate 3 was really fun, I enjoyed it greatly and it let me cope in a fantasy world for a month.
I can't afford such things. I have to read books and use my imagination 😭
 
Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
What do you look forward to in each given day?
At the moment I have just very few things to persue but I'm ill and think just of living day in, day out. I read a book currently but I guess what keeps me going is coping with the few things I have but they are new things I picked up and not so much the past.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
At the moment I have just very few things to persue but I'm ill and think just of living day in, day out. I read a book currently but I guess what keeps me going is coping with the few things I have but they are new things I picked up and not so much the past.
Do you just lay in bed mostly?
 
Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
Do you just lay in bed mostly?
No I can stay up and not be in bed but my specific illness is some sort of minor bowel inflament and now I don't want to eat much. Tge pain is bearable for the most part.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

It's beautiful down there in Hell.
Apr 17, 2023
3,039
No I can stay up and not be in bed but my specific illness is some sort of minor bowel inflament and now I don't want to eat much. Tge pain is bearable for the most part.
Why not get tested?
 

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