Is it worth to keep going?

[michellette]

I was heavily suicidal two months ago. I wish I knew of this forum sooner.

But at those moments I was done with everything that I held on to in my life. There was hardly something I wanted to look back on, just one thing held me here and that's the love for creating art.

Now that I am out of this suicidal stage (I can't say when I will be there again because its an ongoing thing), I feel like everything I do is pointless. I lost the meaning in everything I do no matter how hard I try to get my enjoyment back. Do you feel the same way? I don't know what to do. I feel like I am living a life of someone else that I don't know anymore. Its been two months now and I keep on wanting to get worse day by day again...

 

[Aries]

I hope you find something peaceful

 

[Meowsies]

I totallly understand what you mean. I feel exactly the same. The things that kept me going now feel absolutely pointless and honestly, if it weren't because of my support system I wouldn't be here today. I used to get such a rush of happiness from studying or passing an exam or just going out with friends, whereas now it's just like oh okay, that's it. My favourite ice cream tastes amazing yes, but is that all there was to it? Is there anything for you that gives you a resemblance of that rush of happiness you used to get when doing things you love?

 

[fadedAnon]

I was heavily suicidal two months ago. I wish I knew of this forum sooner.

But at those moments I was done with everything that I held on to in my life. There was hardly something I wanted to look back on, just one thing held me here and that's the love for creating art.

Now that I am out of this suicidal stage (I can't say when I will be there again because its an ongoing thing), I feel like everything I do is pointless. I lost the meaning in everything I do no matter how hard I try to get my enjoyment back. Do you feel the same way? I don't know what to do. I feel like I am living a life of someone else that I don't know anymore. Its been two months now and I keep on wanting to get worse day by day again...

Life can be pointless sometimes i know but you have something most people don't your love for art hold it to your heart and keep fighting man

 

[michellette]

I totallly understand what you mean.

Ah, a fellow Dazai enjoyer. I am not surprised to see you here qwq"
I am so sorry that you understand as well. No one should lose their spark.

 

[Meowsies]

Love me some Dazai, he's the best!

 

[FuneralCry]

After all only you know if it's worth delaying the inevitable, it must be tiring being trapped in that situation, existence certainly is too cruel but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Bunnymmm]

I understand you completely, I'm at that stage again.

 

[IIDARKIISHIKARI]

That's how mine goes as well. I get a month at most of not wanting to do anything then it'll just hit out of nowhere. It's so frustrating being trapped in a cycle.