Is it weird to get more energetic at your lowest points?

[ChiseHatori]

I've always has this thing, where the more tired I am, the more loopy, silly and energetic I become. I've noticed recently that this has started to apply to my overall mood as well; I feel a deep repression of my feelings inside of me that are coming out in odd ways. In some ways it feels like a type of mania, but it's a lot more subdued than that.

To everyone else, I just appear to be very happy and silly -- no burnout. The only times I relax are by myself, and even then I've started having trouble even *feeling* anything anymore, besides just a hole or void in my chest. I know that's typical for depression but the energy certainly isn't.

I guess these things can manifest in many different ways. I'm just worried I'm close to a mental break or something. Genuinely would not be surprised if I CTB'd while giggling and bouncing around at this point.

I have had an occasional break of just crying nonstop but it's been much rarer for me -- about once a month, very briefly though. Before I became weird like this I was crying at least twice a week, for extended periods.

Why is the brain such a roller coaster?

 

[brokeandbroken]

For me it depends. If it is just one long period without sleep 24h+ then yes I think I do become more energetic. That said some of this is probably because virtually all of the times this has occurred as I needed to be up for something usually traveling catching flights (alone) so my only real strategy for making it work was to just talk to people. If it is a long period with little to no sleep no I become much less energetic.

If it is depression. My typical cycle has been anger-energy at my lowest points. Which isn't uncommon. That said I am really active outside of that. The only real time I have had the in bed all day type depression is when my mom after passing despite... everything with the university the 1st year of medical school looked me in the eye and said I don't think you can become a doctor (of note I also facilitated my transfer to a different school without my parents co-signing wasn't a possibility so it wasn't a school thing it was a YOU thing). So yeah that fucked me up for a few days no food no water just in bed.... Outside of that it's complicated but I am as active as I can be.