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Is it ridiculous for me to ctb through fear of losing my hair?
Thread starterScaredToLive
Start date
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My hair is starting to fall out I think due to immense stress, it's become another reason for me to ctb. As a woman, my hair means a lot to me and may seem fickle and vain but it's a part of my identity. I think it's a perfectly valid reason.
I feel for you and you're definitely not vain for the loss to be affecting you. I started having hair loss when I was around 19/20 years old and like you said, as a woman, hair (for most women, I'd venture to say) is a major part of their identity and how they feel about themselves. For me it was anyway. My hair loss is due to som health issues I later found out I had but it's never gotten better and i remember feeling very humiliated and embarrassed to the point of avoiding social functions, staying home a lot (and crying a lot) because I felt so ugly -- especially at that age where looks are SO important. My hair loss isn't the major reason I am planning to ctb but it's been a decades long contributor to why I'm in the place I'm in now mentally.
I'm somewhat similar to you, OP. I also feel that my looks are one of my few redeeming qualities. Female pattern baldness isn't prevenlant in my family, but if it was, I'd most likely also consider CBT over it. As the poster above mentioned, hair is a very important thing to women as well.
You're not ridiculous at all. Please don't be so hard on yourself...
God it feels ridiculous even writing that title lol, I'm aware it makes me seem vain and probably awful. I had a terrible childhood my dad is a violent, disgusting individual, who systemically destroyed my self esteem. However as I became a teenager I was attractive and found myself able to attract women quite easily and have constructed my only sense of self around that. I have not and would not ever be arrogant about it, and if you met me you would not think of me as self absorbed. I really hate myself and I'm very insecure.
Of course it makes me feel good it's the only good thing in a sea of depression and anxiety and self hate.
i hate seeming arrogant but when i see stuff on here like "being good looking makes life easy". Well I'm here, desperate to kill myself, because I'm getting older, I created such a fragile sense of well being based on looks when that begins to fade I've got nothing left. That's not a nice feeling to have.
sorry if I in any way come across conceited, arrogant or self absorbed. I had no other way of writing it. But yeah my point is that is my main reason for killing myself. I self harm a lot, really bad. I have told countless therapists, are you able to cure baldness? Then no you can't fix this and neither can I.
again I apologize if I come across badly, I'm not arrogant and I hate myself
My friend, Elon Musk did it, you can do it too.
Hair transplant.
If you are short on cash then perhaps this a worthy goal to strife for.
What you consider important for your well being is important. If looks make you feel less miserable then you should go for it.
Any reason to want to die is reasonable, because like things that make you feel good like looks also things that make you feel bad are subjective. And that is totally fine.
Also, I am highly grateful for your comment. Is like a well kept secret and everybody seems to play dumb about it, the looks I mean. People really are attracted mostly by looks. I was thinking yesterday that we are first monkeys and then rational humans. We are attracted and fear flesh first then the reason. Having this confirmation from somebody more fortunate, lucky, than me it makes me feel good that I was right all along.
I highly appreciate your comment and think about the solution.
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