Is it dumb to ctb over someone not wanting to be your friend?

[Lost Impact]

no, i have severe RSD and i've lost friends because they realised i wasn't worth keeping around and it has made me want to ctb more than before. being rejected, even platonically, is painful in it's own way.

not even good enough to be someone's friend? why bother then.

i don't think it's dumb at all.

 

[Erick]

Is it dumb to ctb because someone doesn't want to be your friend? It's increased my suicidal ideation and made me both sad and mad

Yeah, it is dumb. But you always say you hate people and don't want friends.
I don't get you.

 

[yearsoflonliness]

What did you like about the guy so much that you're upset he didn't want to be friends?

 

[xinino]

It worked sometimes, Irl Mellina's boyfriend used the same technique "I'm going to kill myself, and it is your fault."

 

[rozeske]

He's a guy from this website and I wanted to be his friend but he didn't want to be mine anyways he deleted his account though, I think

There are no dumb reasons to kill yourself over, maybe rushed or impulsive but I know you are too smart to take that as a reason.

Also you should know that there are people that join this site for several reasons other than to make friends. Don't take it personally and don't be hurt by it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a difficult question. Do any of us have the right to say to someone- you shouldn't be upset about this or- it shouldn't upset you to this degree?

I think sometimes when relatively smaller things really upset us, it's because they are triggering worries about deeper issues. When it's friendship and rejection, it can be our overall concerns about forming relationships. For me, it tends to be when people let me down. Sometimes they have even arranged to do something and then, they'll change their mind. And I'll feel annoyed with myself for looking forward to whatever it was and being dumb enough to rely on them.

I think you mentioned before that this member openly said they enjoyed trolling people here. So- that kind of suggests they were here for entertainment value. I think some people get a kick out of observing other people. They're like the clever, cool kids at school that come out with witty retorts about people but you can't always get close to them.

But yeah- it can be really disappointing when you finally find someone you click with. They mean something to you and you value them but, they don't feel the same. I guess we are wired to want connection to people. Sometimes it's worse if you've convinced yourself you're self sufficient and you end up pining for someone.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, it is dumb. But you always say you hate people and don't want friends.
I don't get you.

I wanted to be *his* friend though. I took a liking to him

It's a difficult question. Do any of us have the right to say to someone- you shouldn't be upset about this or- it shouldn't upset you to this degree?

I think sometimes when relatively smaller things really upset us, it's because they are triggering worries about deeper issues. When it's friendship and rejection, it can be our overall concerns about forming relationships. For me, it tends to be when people let me down. Sometimes they have even arranged to do something and then, they'll change their mind. And I'll feel annoyed with myself for looking forward to whatever it was and being dumb enough to rely on them.

I think you mentioned before that this member openly said they enjoyed trolling people here. So- that kind of suggests they were here for entertainment value. I think some people get a kick out of observing other people. They're like the clever, cool kids at school that come out with witty retorts about people but you can't always get close to them.

But yeah- it can be really disappointing when you finally find someone you click with. They mean something to you and you value them but, they don't feel the same. I guess we are wired to want connection to people. Sometimes it's worse if you've convinced yourself you're self sufficient and you end up pining for someone.

Yeah, he said that he enjoyed trolling people here. I think that he was here to troll and get people to ctb. On another forum, he boasted about how he got a British girl to do so

I don't know why I'm pining for this dude. I don't like people in general so I don't even know why I like this guy

 

[billie]

It's not dumb

 

[sserafim]

What did you like about the guy so much that you're upset he didn't want to be friends?

I just thought that he was fun and interesting to talk to. I liked his take on things and view of the world

"Well I'd say that we're all prisoners but nothing exists outside of our prison what exactly does being friends entail lol"

"Something I hate about humanity is something I hate about reality in general
That we are all slaves
It's sort of an argument against free will, but essentially that our entire lives are determined by our perception yet we don't define what our perception is
I spend my life chasing my desires, as does anyone, but nobody gets to choose their desires. Everything we do, is just because it's what we're programmed to do."

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/are-my-views-just-cope.157603/

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's not exactly dumb to want to CTB over any type of rejection but maybe it's also not reasonable to put your life in the hands of a self-proclaimed troll and suicide encourager. A guy like that probably isn't looking for friendship anyway. What he wanted out of you was likely something more physical or nefarious.

What exactly made this guy so captivating to you that you so desperately craved his attention? If you can't figure that out, you likely won't ever get to find these factors in someone better for you. No matter how intelligent he may seem or how intriguing he might have been to talk to the fact is he wanted nothing to do with you for reasons that you likely had no control over.

I think friendship is much easier to attain than a whole partnership though so maybe you'll get 'em next time, whoever they may be.

 

[tbroken]

IMO it could be ok many years ago... but now with all Social networks, internet, means of transport, you can easily make new friends or meet the ppl that more suite to you...
Of course changing city or similar is difficult, because that will have an high cost, but meet new ppl is not that expensive IMO.
In my case is different, my father (even if it is not completely his fault) and his side of the family left me with some scars and i hate them. On the other hand, during my depressive periods, a lot of ppl tried to abuse me, but i don't hate them, i just forgot everything and moved on.

 

[defunkt]

I have a friend who is just so much into the same kind of things I'm into. The choice of movies fanfic, that sort of thing. We've been together for over five years.

She has complex PTSD and I'm neurodivergent myself.

Either we're talking all day or she just goes into her hole and disappears for days and sometimes weeks and it always happens without warning too.

I tried to make it work and I know her house situation is bad so I don't blame her for doing this at all .

But it was so triggering for me and is even now that I'm back thinking about it again.


I even cut myself to try to get over her because she was my only best friend.
.

I tried to make other friends but they just end up leaving me .

I'm too weird or too open minded or whatever.


It never works out so at this point unless it's someone who is especially being good for me Im not even going to bother getting a friend.

Because I just don't want to get triggered again.

So no it's not dumb . When people just leave it is triggering for us .

 

[sserafim]

You could easily make friends on here with anyone. Putting aside the fact that you're probably pretty attractive, you're autistic with a unique and possibly desirable way of seeing things so take that as you will and make your efforts elsewhere. For the record I think you're interesting and I suspect a lot of that is to do with what you've said and how you've said it.

I wanted to be his friend though. I'm sad that he rejected me

What he wanted out of you was likely something more physical or nefarious.

the fact is he wanted nothing to do with you for reasons that you likely had no control over.

Like what?

 

[hopeless08]

I don't think someone not wanting to be your friend is worth taking you life over but then again I'm not in your shoes so I can't really judge but is that person someone that has been an important part of your life?

 

[Erick]

I wanted to be *his* friend though. I took a liking to him

Yeah, he said that he enjoyed trolling people here. I think that he was here to troll and get people to ctb. On another forum, he boasted about how he got a British girl to do so

I don't know why I'm pining for this dude. I don't like people in general so I don't even know why I like this guy

Oh I see, but it doesn't count as a rejection, since he doesn't know you in real life, and he is a troll. So don't feel bad about it, you were not rejected.

 

[sserafim]

I don't think someone not wanting to be your friend is worth taking you life over but then again I'm not in your shoes so I can't really judge but is that person someone that has been an important part of your life?

I liked talking to him on SS

 

[letsgetittogo]

please do not ctb over an online friendship with someone you don't know and will never meet

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Like what?

Either he wanted something pervy like to see your nudes or maybe he just wanted to get you to CTB cause it gives him some kind of thrill. Or maybe both. Or maybe something else entirely but I can't really fathom anything else.

 

[Linda]

Is it dumb to ctb because someone doesn't want to be your friend? It's increased my suicidal ideation and made me both sad and mad

Yes, it is dumb. And I think you know that.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I think it's extremely dumb in the case of one individual rejecting your friendship. On the other hand, if you're constantly rejected over years and decades by almost everyone you like and get along with then it would make more sense.

 

[Ash’Girl]

Just from having seen you around for a while now, you wanted to ctb for various reasons even before knowing this guy?

So I don't feel like you want to ctb because of him. I think you formed a connection/attachment that maybe made your days feel a little more bearable or at least shook up your routine a bit/made you smile more/gave you something to look forward to.

Losing that suddenly, you miss it, and that's only natural. It's natural for everyone. But if you have some kind of underlying personality disorder or attachment issues then yeah, a rejection can feel like the end of the world until you've processed the emotions. It's easy to say "it's dumb" when you have a neurotypical thought process. When you don't, the emotions are very real and can be very intense (even if you can apply logic and understand that the likelihood is you're overreacting to a situation - doesn't change the "feelings").

When I have a heightened emotional response I instantly want to ctb. Reading into a comment made a work where I "perceive" criticism, even if it wasn't intended and is a misperception, I want to ctb, I'll play out conversations over and over in my head and stress over where I might have offended someone and - you guessed it - want to ctb. And these are, I know, relatively small things as water off a ducks back to most people. So you can imagine what I feel like when I lose an important friendship or have a relationship breakdown.

To be fair, these days I'm much better at my emotional regulation than I was in my teens and early twenties but it took me bloody years of practice.

So no: it's not dumb, your emotions are not "dumb", they're valid, but it is impulsive, and it will likely fade in a short time. Hence always encouraging people who seem in crisis reactive to a recent event to wait. X

 

[derpyderpins]

Is it dumb to ctb because someone doesn't want to be your friend? It's increased my suicidal ideation and made me both sad and mad

Is it a dumb reason to ctb? It falls into the category of suicides I disapprove of, ones based on a single event. So yeah, kinda.

Is it a dumb reason to feel sad? Absolutely not. Logically, sure, there are plenty of other people out there and maybe you just aren't compatible, but our brains are dicks and assume the worst, which is that them not wanting to be your friend is because something is bad about you. That's not the case. Plenty of people on here would want to be your friend, but it's still natural to feel bad.

He's a guy from this website and I wanted to be his friend but he didn't want to be mine anyways he deleted his account though, I think

Sorry that happened. It's a whole different dynamic with people online. More reason not to feel to bad about yourself. People on here probably aren't stable, and we're trying to figure a ton of stuff out. I'd try not to take it personally.

I don't know why I'm pining for this dude. I don't like people in general so I don't even know why I like this guy

Someone online who you've never met. I've been thinking about this type of thing lately. [in general, not necessarily you] You are missing something in your life, and here is this person where you only see 5% of who they are, so you can fill in the other 95% to be exactly what you want in your head. In fact, that mystery of what the person is probably adds to the allure. They are a possibility: someone who may fully fill those unmet desires you have, and you've personally experienced absolutely nothing negative. You've never seen them get annoyed at you over something small, or a similar deflating feeling that reminds you they are a normal, flawed human like the rest of us.

 

[theboy]

not really