Is CTB your “last resort”?

[TuttiFrutti]

What I mean by that is, do you think you've already tried every other possible method of relieving your pain before deciding that you'd be better off dying? Do you feel like you've tried hard enough?

Personally I know I haven't. I'm not inclined to get help anymore because I repeatedly got the same bad results from different professionals, for years and years. I get told that I haven't tried hard enough yet, I feel like it's the case too.

It just sounds easier to give up than to go through the process of failing and being traumatized again.

 

[Meteora]

I have tried everything. I don't know what else I should do. Many people in my situation would've killed themselves long time ago. I don't know what I'm waiting for.

Oh.... traumatized again... I got retraumatized so many times..... its ridiculous.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

My pain is physical. I've tried so many treatments over the last seven years, some have helped a bit, some have made me worse. I feel like I'm circling the drain mentally, but I'm also trying to find the fortitude to go on a bit longer. Some days I want to just give up.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i've exhausted all options & they all led me to the same conclusion, not meant to be a person :p it's kinda comforting though, to know that i tried everything i was supposed to, & now death's my only logical option

 

[Final_Choice]

After several years I think I can say I've tried everything unfortunately. I'll keep trying until the date I plan to CTB though.

 

[fleshgarden]

oh yeah definitely. I've had a lot of phases where I've tried to "help" myself by getting worse, others I've genuinely tried to pull myself out of whatever I am in. but neither healthy or unhealthy methods have given me any path for myself. really the last thing I can do for myself is ctb now

 

[sserafim]

Ctb is the logical conclusion and future I see for myself. There's no treatment, medication or cure for ASD, there's only ctb. Ctb is also the last resort and way to rebel against work, society and capitalism. There's no way in hell that I'm becoming a slave to society and capitalism for around 50 years to earn a living just to afford to exist on a planet I didn't even choose to be on. I'm definitely escaping this.

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think I'd use that term giving up.

It's the last resort for a reason, all else has not worked.

Only once people CTB does it get put into reality.

 

[DoomValuer]

I've taken my time bit I now know that there is only one cure to myself, that is, CTB.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I haven't tried everything to relieve pain but I honestly don't care to. I feel it's a waste of time because no matter what ctb will be the more logical route. I just don't see a point of living another 40-60 years.

I believe I could just exist for many more years until my dangerous lifestyle kills me since I've learned to accept the pain and be content with it. It doesn't make it more bearable but as long as I don't make it worse I'm used to it by now I suppose.

 

[sleepingintherain]

I tried everything I could. I just wasn't meant to be happy. I wish I had gone through with it when I was younger instead of backing out and trying to improve my life, bc it just didn't work

 

[Forever Sleep]

No, CTB is a choice. I've done a lot in life to try and make things better. I'm 44 and I've had ideation for 34 years to varying degrees. Sure- there are still things I could try. But- I know myself. I have 44 years experience living my life and being me. I feel like I know what things help me and what don't. I know what things I'm willing to try and what things I don't feel able to face.

So, with that knowledge, I think I'll know when it's my time to CTB. It may not satisfy other people's requirements of 'trying everything' before you give up but- I really don't care! They're not me. They can do what they want with their own lives- I don't intend to interfere with what they're doing.

The main impetus behind their even wanting to try everything in life is presumably because- they think it will be worth it. Personally- again after 44 years experience living my life. Gaining some successes after working really hard even- I don't think it is worth it! Why would I put myself through more grueling years for something I didn't believe to be worth it? Sounds a bit foolish to me...

 

[ctbcat]

nope. i could do all the things you're meant to when you're someone in the situation i'm in - add another paragraph to psychological notes about me. but it's fucking... incriminating and i don't want to change, and i don't want to have to fucking... manipulate and morph my brain just so i can be some person's idea of 'adjusted'. i could pull myself by the bootstraps if i'm honest with myself, but i'm not going to. somehow, death requires less fighting than any of those other options.

 

[Unhumanly.]

Have tried many different kind of life distraction, it's not a help, but it's what worked the most to make life bearable when it's not safe for me yet to leave

I'm going to depreciate overtime, my time is decreasing, I'm going to physically deteriorating, one day I couldn't offer anything to live,
so, reasonably, I'd ctb because at that point I won't be able to fulfill my life in many aspects

I'm just gonna go and not going experience how it will get worser from there

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

It used to be my last resort and now I've hit that point where I think I'll use that last resort

 

[dinosavr]

I haven't tried everything yet, I'm still trying.
So I think I'll ctb when I'll be sick of it but there are so many options that it's probably impossible to get to the edge and be sure there's absolutely nothing to do anymore.

 

[timetodie24]

Not really for me. Sure I haven't tried everything that in theory could help with suicidal thoughts. But I have tried a lot.
But the point is now I don't want to try anything. I have realised that they lied to me. They labelled it 'mental illness' but i'm actually just defective. I'm the problem and there is no cure for being me. Also I just really don't care about life, it's not about 'pushing through' the bad parts for some great future . There is nothing I want in future, i don't care about careers, having a family, travel or anything. It is all meaningless and pointless to me. So even if could have those things I wouldn't want them. I get nothing out of being alive

 

[matt1968]

Yes it is.

 

[executioner1983]

Definitely not my last resort, more like my plan B for if my career doesn't work out. I can't stand being a burden. I know realistically there are other things I could do, like turn into a vagabond and run away(which is just as good an option as any other since it's not like I'd have anything to lose), but I'd much rather just use my plan B if need be.

 

[Doemu]

CTB is my first resort.

And I don't think that giving up on life it's easier than go to recovery.

Suicide is extremely hard, have to be very well planned.

 

[Meteora]

Sometimes there would be many more things people could try to improve their situation but they cannot afford these therapies. That's the point I've reached, I guess. And yes, there are foundations that give you money for certain things but I'm so endlessly exhausted of begging others to help me.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

It's the only resort I am allowed to use. Therapy would mean taking away resources from people who ACTUALLY deserve them. Same with medicine and whatnot. Coping mechanisms or self-help would mean running from my obligation of suffering. If people want me to suffer, then that means I am obligated to suffer. Death is the only resort I am allowed, since everyone wants me gone. Doing anything except suicide is selfish of me.

 

[FuneralCry]

No and I don't see my wish to die as an "illness" or anything like that, rather the problem lies in existence itself, I don't see anything appealing about decaying from age in this cruel and harmful existence where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer.

I'd prefer to not exist no matter what, for me existence is something completely undesirable but only never existing is true perfection for me, I find it tragic and unnacceptable how humans procreate in the first place even know existence just pointless and meaningless suffering. In my case I see suicide as rational to prevent suffering in this futile existence I never wished for in the first place.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, suicide isn't my last resort. Instead it's a preferred choice of mine. I haven't tried to recover and I won't bother trying to

 

[Umacon]

No, CTB is a choice. I've done a lot in life to try and make things better. I'm 44 and I've had ideation for 34 years to varying degrees. Sure- there are still things I could try. But- I know myself. I have 44 years experience living my life and being me. I feel like I know what things help me and what don't. I know what things I'm willing to try and what things I don't feel able to face.

So, with that knowledge, I think I'll know when it's my time to CTB. It may not satisfy other people's requirements of 'trying everything' before you give up but- I really don't care! They're not me. They can do what they want with their own lives- I don't intend to interfere with what they're doing.

The main impetus behind their even wanting to try everything in life is presumably because- they think it will be worth it. Personally- again after 44 years experience living my life. Gaining some successes after working really hard even- I don't think it is worth it! Why would I put myself through more grueling years for something I didn't believe to be worth it? Sounds a bit foolish to me...

Same story here. Well said!

 

[Katdogg]

Its my last resort, until my body wears down or the money runs out.

I could try harder. I could focus my efforts and energies into improving myself. I could upgrade my skills to be more valuable.

I just need to get with the program. Rewire my brain. Get back on the hamster wheel.

I need to keep making money until I can't and then CTB. ... maybe I'll buy a lottery ticket.

 

[astonishedturnip]

It's my last resort if I can't beat my mental illnesses, and I can't build the friends/family that I've dreamed of having within the next few years. But now and then it freaks me out a bit that it feels more and more of an "in-reach" option than the distant, unpleasant finale it was when I was an adolescent.

 

[lament.]

I wouldn't call it my last resort, it's just by far the most logical one. It would take decades to fix the chronic pain I currently have and by that time it would almost definitely have gotten worse anyway, if there even is a fix - I really don't think would be anything other than 24/7 strong painkillers, which still wouldn't fix my mobility issues and it certainly doesn't change the fact that my mind is fucked anyway.

 

[cold_severance]

is more of a logical choice, than a last resort. i did try all conventional 'get better' methods though and they didnt work.