Is CTB worth the pain?

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

I've been asking myself a lot lately if life is worth the pain (emotional and physical), and my answer is almost always "no". But as I draw closer to my CTB date, I'm starting to wonder if CTB is even worth it. I thought I would be at peace with it as it's the only thing I've been thinking about for literal months (and have been attempts before, although half-assed), and maybe it's just SI talking but I feel so much sadness and panic. I can't even sleep tonight. So life causes me unbearable emotional and physical pain/stress, and CTB does the same just in a different way. I guess I'm just trying to decide which pain is worse. The feeling of nothingness caused by life, or the pure panic caused by CTB.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the problem with both are that they are unknowns. Some natural deaths are very drawn out and painful. If we knew for sure we would end up distressed, in pain and alone in a grotty nursing home, we may see suicide as a way to spare us that. No doubt awful in the moment but hopefully, over quickly. There again, we have no guarantee of that either. I feel the same. It's a gamble either way- sadly.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

That's something only you can answer because it depends on your subjective preferences, your method, your standards, how you want the process to go, what is tolerable and what is not

And since you didn't share your method of suicide, it's impossible to estimate if it's peaceful, tolerable, or painful, some methods can be perfectly peaceful like CNS depressant overdoses, some can be horrible, some can be physically violent, some can be instantious, it depends on your method

On panic attempts, i experienced the most extreme panic attack in my life or SI going full force in during a failed hanging attempt, if you're talking about these type of methods, i personally advice you to not do it, you will regret it when SI kicks in full force, you'll wish you were in the comfort of your bed instead of being there, personally i'd choose a painful slow method over something like hanging, that's just my personal experience tho

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

I think the problem with both are that they are unknowns. Some natural deaths are very drawn out and painful. If we knew for sure we would end up distressed, in pain and alone in a grotty nursing home, we may see suicide as a way to spare us that. No doubt awful in the moment but hopefully, over quickly. There again, we have no guarantee of that either. I feel the same. It's a gamble either way- sadly.

I think that's true. People do not like unknowns (especially me) so we, as individuals who tend to have negative life outlooks, are absolutely terrified of sticking around only for things to never get better or possibly even get worse. But CTB is a HUGE gamble because that's a true unknown. We have no clue what's after death and can never know until we actually go.

That's another thing I think about, even if I stick around until I'm old and dying due to age, it's still a *very* painful process. My grandfather was in the hospital for literal decades and in and out of the ICU. That must have been horrible and something like CTB would've probably been preferable. So if death is painful no matter how long you live and you have nothing to live for, why wait?

Stupid SI getting in the way

That's something only you can answer because it depends on your subjective preferences, your method, your standards, how you want the process to go, what is tolerable and what is not

And since you didn't share your method of suicide, it's impossible to estimate if it's peaceful, tolerable, or painful, some methods can be perfectly peaceful like CNS depressant overdoses, some can be horrible, some can be physically violent, some can be instantious, it depends on your method

On panic attempts, i experienced the most extreme panic attack in my life or SI going full force in during a failed hanging attempt, if you're talking about these type of methods, i personally advice you to not do it, you will regret it when SI kicks in full force, you'll wish you were in the comfort of your bed instead of being there, personally i'd choose a painful slow method over something like hanging, that's just my personal experience tho

My method is SN. Which is said to be peaceful, but I read an absolutely horrible case a little bit ago and it sounds super painful

 

[unluckysadness]

One thing is sure : we're fucked

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

imo even if a suicide method is painful it's better than living because while alive I or any animal with a brain can fall into a trap of unending constant unbearable pain every second for decades. and how to sleep while screaming every second in excruciating pain ?

a suicide method can be quicket than a natural dying 1. instant and painless ( gun) 2. painless 4 minutes to unconscious ( Nembutal) and non- existence , 3. or minutes to unconscious and non- existence which is better than decades of extreme torture of evil life and this evil world

 

[Surek]

but I read an absolutely horrible case a little bit ago and it sounds super painful

I don't know if my words will make you feel any better, but...

I think that post (which I understand was taken down) was written out of emotion and shock from what they saw.

Most likely, the guy lost consciousness within 15-20 minutes, and the rest was just the agony of his body, which he could no longer feel.

---

I recommend scrolling through the pages and reading posts from people who have described their experiences with taking SN (regardless of whether their attempt was successful or not).

 

[Bimbosqualo]

I think that's true. People do not like unknowns (especially me) so we, as individuals who tend to have negative life outlooks, are absolutely terrified of sticking around only for things to never get better or possibly even get worse. But CTB is a HUGE gamble because that's a true unknown. We have no clue what's after death and can never know until we actually go.

That's another thing I think about, even if I stick around until I'm old and dying due to age, it's still a *very* painful process. My grandfather was in the hospital for literal decades and in and out of the ICU. That must have been horrible and something like CTB would've probably been preferable. So if death is painful no matter how long you live and you have nothing to live for, why wait?

Stupid SI getting in the way

My method is SN. Which is said to be peaceful, but I read an absolutely horrible case a little bit ago and it sounds super painful

I would also like to use SN but this would scare me, what is the post you are referring to, I would like to read it.

 

[Unknown21]

One thing is sure : we're fucked

Agreed, whether we live or die, we are fucked either way lol

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

I would also like to use SN but this would scare me, what is the post you are referring to, I would like to read it.

That's weird. I can't seem to find it anymore. It was posted less than 24 hours ago, so maybe it was taken down? Basically, it talked about what happens to the body

I don't know if my words will make you feel any better, but...

I think that post (which I understand was taken down) was written out of emotion and shock from what they saw.

Most likely, the guy lost consciousness within 15-20 minutes, and the rest was just the agony of his body, which he could no longer feel.

---

I recommend scrolling through the pages and reading posts from people who have described their experiences with taking SN (regardless of whether their attempt was successful or not).

That does make me feel a bit better. I guess I'm just worried I'll somehow feel everything even when unconscious

 

[Off_Switch]

It's a decision as to which pain is higher. The pain of dying, or the pain of being alive.