Discussion Is anyone worried about family/other people changing the narrative of your death after you CTB?

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Idk if the title is coherent but I mean having people post half-arsed Instagram stories about your death just to look good in front of others (despite virtually ignoring you irl) or worse (for me at least), awful family members coming forward and acting like they were always there for you despite causing most of your problems and basically crying for sympathy on social media. Honestly it's my main motivation for writing both a physical and digital letter so my true motivations and feelings won't be lost. I'll probably live blog my CTB plan on SS too but we'll see idk

 

[kindalone]

I don't really care if they wanna change the story into something different or make themselves into the victim/hero. Ideally, my suffering has ended and they can't touch me anymore anyway.

 

[SN drinker]

I just write down why I did, with my signature below. There rest is not my problem. There might be people talking about me, but it doesn't matter. I'm dead and people will forget me anyway.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

Not my problem. No matter what they say, I'll be dead so I won't be bothered anyway.

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

I don't really care if they wanna change the story into something different or make themselves into the victim/hero. Ideally, my suffering has ended and they can't touch me anymore anyway.

Yeah I suppose this helps, just generally worried about my mother's nonsense in particular but when I'm dead, none of it will matter anymore so why care

 

[SexyIncél]

Smart! Yeah, family/others are known to re-script suicides, to their ends. Making it explicit will force such liars on the defensive:

Here, through the performance of funeral rituals, relatives of the deceased often play out a performance designed to silence, or at least obscure, whatever message the original suicide might have been said to convey, and, like Owens' and Lambert's informants, shifts blame for the death away from themselves. At their most successful, a funeral might even redefine the death as an unfortunate accident rather than a suicide at all, marking out an alternative—more idealised—life path for the deceased. The suicide of an elderly woman that might have marked her son as unfilial—given that suicides here, too, were read as protests—was re-scripted by her descendants as a 'good death' through public rituals, while the body of a student who had escaped the pressures of life by jumping from a balcony was sent into the afterlife with the burning of a paper replica of a graduation gown and degree diploma. Such reconfiguring of deaths, as in the cases Chua described in Kerala, depends on the varying capacities of those left behind to shape events, but they also show, as Toulson points out, the spaces within apparently rigid rituals for innovation and communication.

 

[Archness]

I don't just worry, I know that's what they'll do. Disappointing, but honestly, with the physical body dying, I wouldn't care that much, as I'm dead, never being true to myself. No one could get me, as no one really knows me. Maybe a basic suicide note, but not much.

Honestly, my entire online activities as "Archness" is itself a compelling suicide note, with my many postings here, perhaps other's testimony. I don't think everything could be put into a single document, apart from making the "note" a small book or something. It'd basically be bulletpoint paragraphs giving a rundown of the biggest reasons.

Oh, and I just thought, maybe I'd have it open with what are NOT my reasons, since people often assume some things with these things, and clairifying that it's NOT just some bad feelings.

 

[golden_triforce3]

For the people who care about me, I hope they do whatever makes it easier for them to cope.
For the ones who don't, I honestly couldn't care less as long as I'm finally free.

I carry no bitterness towards people, just towards the universe that dealt me this hand.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I don't see how it would be any different then living. I don't really talk to anyone and it's not like my family couldn't just do whatever it is now. That said I am sure there would be shit talking and the like. Then again I don't think they'd care. Probably just turn into the states problem... Certainly no tears shed...

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think one friend in particular who knew me when I first became suicidal will blame it on a person from my childhood. While, I don't think that's entirely accurate- I have different reasons now- I suppose I do actually feel some satisfaction in that- because to some part- I think it's true. Without them and how they behaved, I doubt I would have experienced ideation that early on. I wouldn't have focused on the coping mechanism I chose. I may have grown up to be more confident, more trusting and more balanced. I don't intend to blame them in a note- although, I would have if I'd killed myself when I was a child. Still- it comforts me that at least one person knew what happened and was on my side. While I don't think it's healthy, I suppose I've always been grateful that they bear a grudge for me against this person. I believe this person to be a narcissist and they wrapped most everyone else around their finger- including my family to some extent.

I think it would annoy me that maybe work colleagues and distant family/ friends would view it as a sign of mental illness. I'd prefer them to realise that it was a feeling I've had with clarity for decades.

I hope people would appreciate it that I held on for my Dad for decades- rather than fly into some rant about how selfish it was. I do hope they would understand that I could'nt stay here for crumbs. I hope they would respect enough that it was my sincere wish to be free that they could try to be happy for me.

 

[Death is my goal]

i don't care

 

[wagner2029]

It doesn't make any difference, there's no point worrying about things that will happen after your death. death is the end and it's over .

 

[soybiscuit]

honestly, yeah. i know it will happen. my parents are narcissists and would never manage to admit that they were the main root of my suffering and what started my suicidal ideation.
but i've made peace with that fact.
no one except yourself will ever accurately perceive you, everyone creates their own image of you in their heads. it happens when you're alive and it will happen when you're dead.
i do plan on writing a note for my friend so he isn't left confused and blaming himself, but i won't even be able to care if he changes the narrative of my note, since i'll be dead.

 

[Scythe]

I know a few people will know the true narrative, and that would be enough for me. My family will try to twist it because they simply cannot comprehend my reasons and I don't plan on leaving them a detailed explanation of why I chose this ending because I don't believe they can fully understand my reasoning.

 

[p49CwWzD]

I worry that people would interpret my choice as the result of "mental illness" and use my death to give free advertisement to psych services. But my family saw what those people put me through, so I doubt they would do that.

Other than that, I don't really care. I want to cause as little damage to other people as possible on my way out. I don't want the people around me to feel as if it was their fault or as if they could've prevented it, so if they cope by lionizing themselves and their roles in my life, then so be it.

 

[brownbear]

Yes, i would hate my death getting used as a sob story, they wont care after a year or so anyway. I dont understand how people cant finally let the passed rest in peace..

 

[iLikeFrogs]

Yes, no one irl knows the truth and they'll probably make themselves victims after I commit, it upsets me honestly