Method Strategies to LESSER FAMILLY SUFERRING after CTB (My Plan)

[final_countdown12]

Ok i know its imposible to completely ease their suferring. CTB will probably traumatize parents for longterm if not forever.

Nonetheless i want to share my checklist of things ive done to help them mitigate the impact after my departure. Please share if you have any other idea that i might be missing.

Unfortunately its not easy task. It takes time, energy so its not easy task, specially considering we are already fucked up with depression or any other mental/physical/financial problem.

I took months to organize and make this checklist 100% ready. But it was the only way i found to make peace with my death and be ready to CTB. If you have resources, energy and consideration to your family its worth the effort.

1) write a handwriten clear concise and objective letter to the police/coloner + a letter to the family. Put your reasons and state that its not your family fault and there is nothing that could be done to change your decision. Also make it clear that CTB is your own responsabilty and nobody else assisted you and you are in peace with that decicion to CTB.
A letter to the police could somehow help (there is controversy) but you want the investigation to be concluded asap and smoothly after you CTB. No one whants big police interrogatory to your family members, so make your CTB something clear and with all evidences exposed.

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

2) choose the correct location for your CTB, you can greatly reduce family trauma if you choose to die in a neutral place such as chain hotel room and not in family house. Your family wont have to clean the mess, they wont be the first one to find the body and their house wont be remembered of this tragic event. On the other hand Chain hotel room has professional and protocols regarding deaths, here you can find an example bellow:

https://hospitalitylawyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Responding-to-guest-deaths.pdf

Of couse, put a big sign in the entrance of bed/bathroom so you avoid the house keeping to see your corpse and he/she just directly call police and he/she wont be traumatise.

After police/ambulance in called and your body is removed to local mortage, your family will be contacted by the mortage of by the police itself.

3) previouly scheduled money transfer to your family account. And/ Or make a will.

4) make prepaid funeral arrengements and give the concierge funeral' contact and contract # to your family. Having a funeral already organised will be very helpfull for them. Remember: funeral is for your family/friends to make a closure and help acelerate the grieving process, so its an important natural process. The funeral is NOT for you, since you will be gone. So at least let them decide regarding funeral event.

5) organize clothes for your funeral or cremation and make them already cleaned and organized

6) Close all your accounts specially bank account before CTB : you dont want to make your old mom having to deal with all hassle. In case is not posible to close a specifx account, just fill up the forms in advance and organize the documents to your family leaving detailed instruction on how to proceed after your death (leave detailed instructions, e.g. "contact this person phone number Xxxxxx and send him this document X and Y".

7) donate all your bellonings, you dont want your old mom dealing with loads of your personal clothes and other stuffs

8) Program gmail and facebook/instagram "heritage feature" and autorize your family, so your family can handle all your social media account after your death

9) delete everything "nasty" you want in your mobile and then use the app SECURE ERASE. But dont delete everything or it will look too suspicious to police and family. Just leave trivials messages and apps availabe. The rest you delete.

10) choose a strategic date to CTB;
Best dates to lesser parents suferring:
A) date of your birth = date of your CTB, in this case they will have just 1 date/ per year of grieving (instead of 2)
B) dont CTB close to any relative birthday date
C) dont CTB in any major holiday date
D) make sure they will be home when they get the CTB news. E.g.; dont CTB during their anual vacation trip

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im found alive.

 

[Dark Window]

Sounds cool if you are clear headed enough

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Sounds cool if you are clear headed enough

ending your life is probably a decision you want to make with a clear head

 

[PointlessVoid]

When my partner died I had a lot of things to deal with as they went in their sleep from a cardiac arrest. It was fortunate I knew their mobile phone passcode as that gave me access to their emails and from there I could sort out the estate.

I'd say my list, which I already have in place:
1) Don't use a photo or fingerprint for your phone entry, make it a passcode and write it down
2) Create a password notebook for everything you're signed up to. You don't need to close the important accounts if there's the login details. Electricity, TV licence etc.
3) Anything you've pre-paid for can usually be refunded, write this in the notebook
4) You don't need to pre-pay the funeral, just make sure you've got the money available to cover the costs. You can get a basic funeral without an event, your ashes are put in a communal garden and there's no one present. It's the cheapest option of around £1500
5) Make a will - without a will there's additional solicitor fees - even if you've got nothing to leave, make a will for around £100. It'll save a few thousand in solicitor fees. If there's no will then the solicitor needs to look into prior rights etc - additional costs for your family
6) Don't leave debts - you don't want your family to have to pay anything after you're gone. Most debts don't die with you.
7) Don't give any indication on social media (Facebook) that you're feeling down or anything. You'll end up getting visits from friends / family / neighbours. Act normal
8) Work doesn't matter, they will find a replacement, don't worry about them. Just make sure anything personal you've deleted from your works computer
9) This is the hard part, which I've not worked out yet, plan it out so it doesn't fail. Don't attempt anything till you know it's definitely going to work. You don't want to be a burden on your family, or worse, in a position that you can't re-try again because people are watching over you.

 

[final_countdown12]

Thank you for inputs. Find Bellow my comments:

4) You don't need to pre-pay the funeral, just make sure you've got the money available to cover the costs. You can get a basic funeral without an event, your ashes are put in a communal garden and there's no one present. It's the cheapest option of around £1500

Prepaid funeral just avoid all haslle regarding filling up forms, sending documents, choosing cofffim , choosing flowers and many others operational details that your mother wont be in mental condition to perform after you CTB. Thats why its much easier to make everything prepared before.

6) Don't leave debts - you don't want your family to have to pay anything after you're gone. Most debts don't die with you.

In my country (South america), there are clear civil law codes regarding this: debts cannot be passed/inherited to your parents in case you dont have any asset and in case your parents didnt signed any co-participation in your debt contract. Also make sure your spose/wife didnt signed any co-participation debt contract with you as well.

Thats my case, i dont have any asset nor heirs (kids) nor wife therefore my debts will die with me. Also my parents does not have any co-participation in any of my debts so they cannot be affected.

of course, if you have asset or in case any of your parents signed a co-participation in the debt contract with you, then the debt will be passed to them.

I'd say my list, which I already have in place:
1) Don't use a photo or fingerprint for your phone entry, make it a passcode and write it down

Good advice. I already set this configurarion in my cel phone just fearing that Cops could login my mobile and try to get the little money i scheduled to be transfered to my mother

Also I sent an scheduled email to my brother and i put the pin password of my mobile in case he eventually need it in case the police investigation is somehow extended. But i begged him that in case its not needed just donate or put my mobile in the garbage.

 

[PointlessVoid]

Honestly, if you say to the funeral parlour the basic, there isn't any flowers or coffin. They do a basic plan, I discussed this with them after my partner and they gave me details. I've got this in my will and discussed with family. The thing is doing it this way is because prices change, even pre-paying can lead to additional costs whereas if you allocate money then that gives them a ballpark to work with. Either way, there's forms to fill in.

In the UK certain debts are passed on to spouse, like credit cards. I'm not sure of which debts go onto a family but I know mortgage does to the inheritor. In my case my mortgage is paid up so that's not an issue. It's just be aware of what passes on, do your research beforehand.

I think the main thing is trying as much as you can to make it easy for whoever has to deal with it afterwards. One thing that I forgot that's VERY important, is try to do it in your own country. Outside of the country it can add a lot of time to the repatriation and also cost a lot more in repatriation costs. It also means whomever deals with your estate has to travel to the country to sign the paperwork etc - not great for them and much more stressful.

 

[final_countdown12]

Honestly, if you say to the funeral parlour the basic, there isn't any flowers or coffin. They do a basic plan, I discussed this with them after my partner and they gave me details. I've got this in my will and discussed with family. The thing is doing it this way is because prices change, even pre-paying can lead to additional costs whereas if you allocate money then that gives them a ballpark to work with. Either way, there's forms to fill in.

Hum i got you point.
My prepaid funeral is a private one in the mid/upper level range so there is no space to extra charge and also all my family has to do is call the concierge. 99% of the complicated forms are all filled up and all documents sent (including my mothers').
thats definetely something very boring to do but its better to do in advance. Its extremelly stresfull. Cant imagine my old mom trying to figure out all those stresfull forms and decisions (coffins, flowers, location of cremation, clothes etc).

In the UK certain debts are passed on to spouse, like credit cards. I'm not sure of which debts go onto a family but I know mortgage does to the inheritor. In my case my mortgage is paid up so that's not an issue. It's just be aware of what passes on, do your research beforehand.

It make senses if the spose/wife have coparticipation and a a joint bank accout. Then the debts will surelly be passed infortunately.

in my case, there is no legal possibility to pass my credit card bills to my mother/father/brother since they dont have any joint/co-participation in any of my account. nonetheless i prepared a full email with all instructions and law codes to provide my brother with all legal information, just in case. If my bank or any debt collector charge any of my family member, that would be harassing/abuse and the bank can be sued. I instructed my brother to sue the bank in case this abuse/harrassment eventualy occur.

I think the main thing is trying as much as you can to make it easy for whoever has to deal with it afterwards. One thing that I forgot that's VERY important, is try to do it in your own country. Outside of the country it can add a lot of time to the repatriation and also cost a lot more in repatriation costs. It also means whomever deals with your estate has to travel to the country to sign the paperwork etc - not great for them and much more stressful.

You are correct that an important topic. Thats the main reason i decide to bring all N back to my country with me and also the reason ill CTB in a hotel in the same city of my parents just to facilitate and speed up all police investigation and death protocol logistics. The process should be fast, effective, easy/simple and transparent to all involved in order to eliminate the possible hasslle to the family coming from the police.

 

[deadtomorrow]

You cant care if youre dead anyway so why bother

 

[Kapsyl]

You cant care if youre dead anyway so why bother

Some of us deeply care for those we leave behind that has to deal with the aftermatch. Dealing with bank details, passwords cleaning etc is a huge inconvenience and helping them in anyway will allow them to focus on mourning. We may not be able to care after ctb but I sure do have a conscience before.

 

[tankapi]

I'm thinking of changing my legal name and doing it overseas. Tell people I'm going on vacation, and do go on it...just not coming back. Preschedule emails to send long after it has happened to anyone I need to talk to.

 

[Esokabat]

Honestly, if you say to the funeral parlour the basic, there isn't any flowers or coffin. They do a basic plan, I discussed this with them after my partner and they gave me details. I've got this in my will and discussed with family. The thing is doing it this way is because prices change, even pre-paying can lead to additional costs whereas if you allocate money then that gives them a ballpark to work with. Either way, there's forms to fill in.

In the UK certain debts are passed on to spouse, like credit cards. I'm not sure of which debts go onto a family but I know mortgage does to the inheritor. In my case my mortgage is paid up so that's not an issue. It's just be aware of what passes on, do your research beforehand.

I think the main thing is trying as much as you can to make it easy for whoever has to deal with it afterwards. One thing that I forgot that's VERY important, is try to do it in your own country. Outside of the country it can add a lot of time to the repatriation and also cost a lot more in repatriation costs. It also means whomever deals with your estate has to travel to the country to sign the paperwork etc - not great for them and much more stressful.

The country thing is really confusing to me. I live in country A, where I have a bank account with some money in it, where I work and pay taxes, this is where I will write my will with a lawyer that lives in country A but speaks language A and B. And in country A, my work has a life insurance. And in country A, I am happy for the government agencies to do whatever with my ashes without any ceremony. I have no family in country A. My family lives in country B. They son't speak the language of country A. I personally have no relationship with country B, I have no address here, I don't work here, no bank account, no taxes, I wouldn't even qualify for healthcare here as I don't live or work there. So should I CTB in country A o B? I will have an open bank account (I cannot close it prior) in country A and a possible life insurance. Can my parents simply give authorization to a lawyer in country A to manage the will, bank account and life insurance? I already found a lawyer that lives in country A but speaks languages A and B. I don't consider country "B" my home and I don't want my ashes to be transported from country A to B, but I have zero family in country A. I am honestly really worried about the logistics. What happens to people's bodies if they have no family to arrange a funeral or cremation? Should I just indicate it in my will to charge it on my bank account? In the country I live, there are no confidentiality between lawyer and client on the subject of CTB so I cannot put anything unusual into my will, especially since I am not yet elderly.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I am so thankful for all the incredible level of detail around the practicalities. I am very curious how people stay focused and not depressed as they do all of the logistics around living wills etc. I am certain of my plan, but the idea I am wrapping things up while I am still young depresses me and doesn't put me in a cold clinical mindset to keep getting things done. I have a lot of brain fog and ADHD and autism are ruining my life and it makes it all even harder to end. I just end up crying, mourning how this toxic brain is preventing me from ending things. I just want to get the paperwork done so my family member can access what little money I have left.

For me getting rid of more furniture is also depressing - getting things down to a desk, chair and bed will depress me even more. It will highlight how many people I have met talk about the furniture they bought and here I am trying to erase myself off the planet.

I'm so, so tired

 

[PointlessVoid]

The country thing is really confusing to me. I live in country A, where I have a bank account with some money in it, where I work and pay taxes, this is where I will write my will with a lawyer that lives in country A but speaks language A and B. And in country A, my work has a life insurance. And in country A, I am happy for the government agencies to do whatever with my ashes without any ceremony. I have no family in country A. My family lives in country B. They son't speak the language of country A. I personally have no relationship with country B, I have no address here, I don't work here, no bank account, no taxes, I wouldn't even qualify for healthcare here as I don't live or work there. So should I CTB in country A o B? I will have an open bank account (I cannot close it prior) in country A and a possible life insurance. Can my parents simply give authorization to a lawyer in country A to manage the will, bank account and life insurance? I already found a lawyer that lives in country A but speaks languages A and B. I don't consider country "B" my home and I don't want my ashes to be transported from country A to B, but I have zero family in country A. I am honestly really worried about the logistics. What happens to people's bodies if they have no family to arrange a funeral or cremation? Should I just indicate it in my will to charge it on my bank account? In the country I live, there are no confidentiality between lawyer and client on the subject of CTB so I cannot put anything unusual into my will, especially since I am not yet elderly.

Country A is your country of residence so CTB there. If you CTB in country B then your body may have to be repatriated to country A but I'm not 100% sure on this. I just know when my partner died in country B and I was in A, I had to go into B to sign release paperwork to return their body to A as that was our residence. It may be the case your family has to travel to A to sign paperwork. But don't quote me on this as I'm not sure on the logistics of it all in your scenario.

 

[Esokabat]

Country A is your country of residence so CTB there. If you CTB in country B then your body may have to be repatriated to country A but I'm not 100% sure on this. I just know when my partner died in country B and I was in A, I had to go into B to sign release paperwork to return their body to A as that was our residence. It may be the case your family has to travel to A to sign paperwork. But don't quote me on this as I'm not sure on the logistics of it all in your scenario.

Thank you!

 

[noname123]

Ok i know its imposible to completely ease their suferring. CTB will probably traumatize parents for longterm if not forever.

Nonetheless i want to share my checklist of things ive done to help them mitigate the impact after my departure. Please share if you have any other idea that i might be missing.

Unfortunately its not easy task. It takes time, energy so its not easy task, specially considering we are already fucked up with depression or any other mental/physical/financial problem.

I took months to organize and make this checklist 100% ready. But it was the only way i found to make peace with my death and be ready to CTB. If you have resources, energy and consideration to your family its worth the effort.

1) write a handwriten clear concise and objective letter to the police/coloner + a letter to the family. Put your reasons and state that its not your family fault and there is nothing that could be done to change your decision. Also make it clear that CTB is your own responsabilty and nobody else assisted you and you are in peace with that decicion to CTB.
A letter to the police could somehow help (there is controversy) but you want the investigation to be concluded asap and smoothly after you CTB. No one whants big police interrogatory to your family members, so make your CTB something clear and with all evidences exposed.

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

2) choose the correct location for your CTB, you can greatly reduce family trauma if you choose to die in a neutral place such as chain hotel room and not in family house. Your family wont have to clean the mess, they wont be the first one to find the body and their house wont be remembered of this tragic event. On the other hand Chain hotel room has professional and protocols regarding deaths, here you can find an example bellow:

https://hospitalitylawyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Responding-to-guest-deaths.pdf

Of couse, put a big sign in the entrance of bed/bathroom so you avoid the house keeping to see your corpse and he/she just directly call police and he/she wont be traumatise.

After police/ambulance in called and your body is removed to local mortage, your family will be contacted by the mortage of by the police itself.

3) previouly scheduled money transfer to your family account. And/ Or make a will.

4) make prepaid funeral arrengements and give the concierge funeral' contact and contract # to your family. Having a funeral already organised will be very helpfull for them. Remember: funeral is for your family/friends to make a closure and help acelerate the grieving process, so its an important natural process. The funeral is NOT for you, since you will be gone. So at least let them decide regarding funeral event.

5) organize clothes for your funeral or cremation and make them already cleaned and organized

6) Close all your accounts specially bank account before CTB : you dont want to make your old mom having to deal with all hassle. In case is not posible to close a specifx account, just fill up the forms in advance and organize the documents to your family leaving detailed instruction on how to proceed after your death (leave detailed instructions, e.g. "contact this person phone number Xxxxxx and send him this document X and Y".

7) donate all your bellonings, you dont want your old mom dealing with loads of your personal clothes and other stuffs

8) Program gmail and facebook/instagram "heritage feature" and autorize your family, so your family can handle all your social media account after your death

9) delete everything "nasty" you want in your mobile and then use the app SECURE ERASE. But dont delete everything or it will look too suspicious to police and family. Just leave trivials messages and apps availabe. The rest you delete.

10) choose a strategic date to CTB;
Best dates to lesser parents suferring:
A) date of your birth = date of your CTB, in this case they will have just 1 date/ per year of grieving (instead of 2)
B) dont CTB close to any relative birthday date
C) dont CTB in any major holiday date
D) make sure they will be home when they get the CTB news. E.g.; dont CTB during their anual vacation trip

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im found alive.

How do you do all this without it being suspicious that you are going to ctb?

 

[dopaminedeath]

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

I've been looking for something like this. Its a big help, thank you.

Also #2 policy was insightful.


For #7, even if it's unlikely, I don't want to have to start over. I'm packing boxes to keep my belongings. Not a lot of stuff at least.

 

[BlockHammer]

Thanks for the advice it was helpful for me, to be honest before seeing this advice, i actually have a plan to return all of the money that my parents gave to me. For the methode, currently i have 2 methode that i want to try but not now, probably next yeat cause i still have things that i want to try, my problem though is choosing place to die, it easy to said find somewhere quiet, but im affraid that someone would notice it and prevent me to die, not to mentioned that i don't have enough money to rent a hotel room. I do planned to ctb in my house when my parents was away for 1-2 month for a certain thing but we see if maybe i had a change in my mind

 

[Into-the-abyss]

Ok i know its imposible to completely ease their suferring. CTB will probably traumatize parents for longterm if not forever.

Nonetheless i want to share my checklist of things ive done to help them mitigate the impact after my departure. Please share if you have any other idea that i might be missing.

Unfortunately its not easy task. It takes time, energy so its not easy task, specially considering we are already fucked up with depression or any other mental/physical/financial problem.

I took months to organize and make this checklist 100% ready. But it was the only way i found to make peace with my death and be ready to CTB. If you have resources, energy and consideration to your family its worth the effort.

1) write a handwriten clear concise and objective letter to the police/coloner + a letter to the family. Put your reasons and state that its not your family fault and there is nothing that could be done to change your decision. Also make it clear that CTB is your own responsabilty and nobody else assisted you and you are in peace with that decicion to CTB.
A letter to the police could somehow help (there is controversy) but you want the investigation to be concluded asap and smoothly after you CTB. No one whants big police interrogatory to your family members, so make your CTB something clear and with all evidences exposed.

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

2) choose the correct location for your CTB, you can greatly reduce family trauma if you choose to die in a neutral place such as chain hotel room and not in family house. Your family wont have to clean the mess, they wont be the first one to find the body and their house wont be remembered of this tragic event. On the other hand Chain hotel room has professional and protocols regarding deaths, here you can find an example bellow:

https://hospitalitylawyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Responding-to-guest-deaths.pdf

Of couse, put a big sign in the entrance of bed/bathroom so you avoid the house keeping to see your corpse and he/she just directly call police and he/she wont be traumatise.

After police/ambulance in called and your body is removed to local mortage, your family will be contacted by the mortage of by the police itself.

3) previouly scheduled money transfer to your family account. And/ Or make a will.

4) make prepaid funeral arrengements and give the concierge funeral' contact and contract # to your family. Having a funeral already organised will be very helpfull for them. Remember: funeral is for your family/friends to make a closure and help acelerate the grieving process, so its an important natural process. The funeral is NOT for you, since you will be gone. So at least let them decide regarding funeral event.

5) organize clothes for your funeral or cremation and make them already cleaned and organized

6) Close all your accounts specially bank account before CTB : you dont want to make your old mom having to deal with all hassle. In case is not posible to close a specifx account, just fill up the forms in advance and organize the documents to your family leaving detailed instruction on how to proceed after your death (leave detailed instructions, e.g. "contact this person phone number Xxxxxx and send him this document X and Y".

7) donate all your bellonings, you dont want your old mom dealing with loads of your personal clothes and other stuffs

8) Program gmail and facebook/instagram "heritage feature" and autorize your family, so your family can handle all your social media account after your death

9) delete everything "nasty" you want in your mobile and then use the app SECURE ERASE. But dont delete everything or it will look too suspicious to police and family. Just leave trivials messages and apps availabe. The rest you delete.

10) choose a strategic date to CTB;
Best dates to lesser parents suferring:
A) date of your birth = date of your CTB, in this case they will have just 1 date/ per year of grieving (instead of 2)
B) dont CTB close to any relative birthday date
C) dont CTB in any major holiday date
D) make sure they will be home when they get the CTB news. E.g.; dont CTB during their anual vacation trip

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im fothe

Ok i know its imposible to completely ease their suferring. CTB will probably traumatize parents for longterm if not forever.

Nonetheless i want to share my checklist of things ive done to help them mitigate the impact after my departure. Please share if you have any other idea that i might be missing.

Unfortunately its not easy task. It takes time, energy so its not easy task, specially considering we are already fucked up with depression or any other mental/physical/financial problem.

I took months to organize and make this checklist 100% ready. But it was the only way i found to make peace with my death and be ready to CTB. If you have resources, energy and consideration to your family its worth the effort.

1) write a handwriten clear concise and objective letter to the police/coloner + a letter to the family. Put your reasons and state that its not your family fault and there is nothing that could be done to change your decision. Also make it clear that CTB is your own responsabilty and nobody else assisted you and you are in peace with that decicion to CTB.
A letter to the police could somehow help (there is controversy) but you want the investigation to be concluded asap and smoothly after you CTB. No one whants big police interrogatory to your family members, so make your CTB something clear and with all evidences exposed.

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

2) choose the correct location for your CTB, you can greatly reduce family trauma if you choose to die in a neutral place such as chain hotel room and not in family house. Your family wont have to clean the mess, they wont be the first one to find the body and their house wont be remembered of this tragic event. On the other hand Chain hotel room has professional and protocols regarding deaths, here you can find an example bellow:

https://hospitalitylawyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Responding-to-guest-deaths.pdf

Of couse, put a big sign in the entrance of bed/bathroom so you avoid the house keeping to see your corpse and he/she just directly call police and he/she wont be traumatise.

After police/ambulance in called and your body is removed to local mortage, your family will be contacted by the mortage of by the police itself.

3) previouly scheduled money transfer to your family account. And/ Or make a will.

4) make prepaid funeral arrengements and give the concierge funeral' contact and contract # to your family. Having a funeral already organised will be very helpfull for them. Remember: funeral is for your family/friends to make a closure and help acelerate the grieving process, so its an important natural process. The funeral is NOT for you, since you will be gone. So at least let them decide regarding funeral event.

5) organize clothes for your funeral or cremation and make them already cleaned and organized

6) Close all your accounts specially bank account before CTB : you dont want to make your old mom having to deal with all hassle. In case is not posible to close a specifx account, just fill up the forms in advance and organize the documents to your family leaving detailed instruction on how to proceed after your death (leave detailed instructions, e.g. "contact this person phone number Xxxxxx and send him this document X and Y".

7) donate all your bellonings, you dont want your old mom dealing with loads of your personal clothes and other stuffs

8) Program gmail and facebook/instagram "heritage feature" and autorize your family, so your family can handle all your social media account after your death

9) delete everything "nasty" you want in your mobile and then use the app SECURE ERASE. But dont delete everything or it will look too suspicious to police and family. Just leave trivials messages and apps availabe. The rest you delete.

10) choose a strategic date to CTB;
Best dates to lesser parents suferring:
A) date of your birth = date of your CTB, in this case they will have just 1 date/ per year of grieving (instead of 2)
B) dont CTB close to any relative birthday date
C) dont CTB in any major holiday date
D) make sure they will be home when they get the CTB news. E.g.; dont CTB during their anual vacation trip

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im found alive.

Ty <3

 

[silentcicada]

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im found alive.

I just want to warn my American friends: the technicalities of a living or dying will may vary from state to state. Where I live you need 2 witnesses for both.

This is an excellent list that answers most of my concerns, thank you very much for sharing!

 

[Nothing87]

Ok i know its imposible to completely ease their suferring. CTB will probably traumatize parents for longterm if not forever.

Nonetheless i want to share my checklist of things ive done to help them mitigate the impact after my departure. Please share if you have any other idea that i might be missing.

Unfortunately its not easy task. It takes time, energy so its not easy task, specially considering we are already fucked up with depression or any other mental/physical/financial problem.

I took months to organize and make this checklist 100% ready. But it was the only way i found to make peace with my death and be ready to CTB. If you have resources, energy and consideration to your family its worth the effort.

1) write a handwriten clear concise and objective letter to the police/coloner + a letter to the family. Put your reasons and state that its not your family fault and there is nothing that could be done to change your decision. Also make it clear that CTB is your own responsabilty and nobody else assisted you and you are in peace with that decicion to CTB.
A letter to the police could somehow help (there is controversy) but you want the investigation to be concluded asap and smoothly after you CTB. No one whants big police interrogatory to your family members, so make your CTB something clear and with all evidences exposed.

Find bellow the best tutorial of how to write an effective and objective Suicide letter to family:

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

2) choose the correct location for your CTB, you can greatly reduce family trauma if you choose to die in a neutral place such as chain hotel room and not in family house. Your family wont have to clean the mess, they wont be the first one to find the body and their house wont be remembered of this tragic event. On the other hand Chain hotel room has professional and protocols regarding deaths, here you can find an example bellow:

https://hospitalitylawyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Responding-to-guest-deaths.pdf

Of couse, put a big sign in the entrance of bed/bathroom so you avoid the house keeping to see your corpse and he/she just directly call police and he/she wont be traumatise.

After police/ambulance in called and your body is removed to local mortage, your family will be contacted by the mortage of by the police itself.

3) previouly scheduled money transfer to your family account. And/ Or make a will.

4) make prepaid funeral arrengements and give the concierge funeral' contact and contract # to your family. Having a funeral already organised will be very helpfull for them. Remember: funeral is for your family/friends to make a closure and help acelerate the grieving process, so its an important natural process. The funeral is NOT for you, since you will be gone. So at least let them decide regarding funeral event.

5) organize clothes for your funeral or cremation and make them already cleaned and organized

6) Close all your accounts specially bank account before CTB : you dont want to make your old mom having to deal with all hassle. In case is not posible to close a specifx account, just fill up the forms in advance and organize the documents to your family leaving detailed instruction on how to proceed after your death (leave detailed instructions, e.g. "contact this person phone number Xxxxxx and send him this document X and Y".

7) donate all your bellonings, you dont want your old mom dealing with loads of your personal clothes and other stuffs

8) Program gmail and facebook/instagram "heritage feature" and autorize your family, so your family can handle all your social media account after your death

9) delete everything "nasty" you want in your mobile and then use the app SECURE ERASE. But dont delete everything or it will look too suspicious to police and family. Just leave trivials messages and apps availabe. The rest you delete.

10) choose a strategic date to CTB;
Best dates to lesser parents suferring:
A) date of your birth = date of your CTB, in this case they will have just 1 date/ per year of grieving (instead of 2)
B) dont CTB close to any relative birthday date
C) dont CTB in any major holiday date
D) make sure they will be home when they get the CTB news. E.g.; dont CTB during their anual vacation trip

11) Write a living Will (in german is called Patientenverfügung).
Basicaly its a simple document that says "in case i go in a coma state, please turn off the machines as i dont want to live as a vegetable".
I just printed yesterday and signed this doc. im going to put this document beside my corpse in case im found alive.

Thanks a lot!