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I

Isangformischa

Member
Dec 19, 2019
6
my life is going pretty alright right now, some stresses but I've had worse. I have no real reason to want to die, yet i want to die. does anyone else experience that?
 
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Gilbertson12

Gilbertson12

Member
May 11, 2020
17
Of course yes, if life is going ok doesnt feel that we cant feel sadness or find the life meaningless. Even if everything is ok, the instrisic pain in life maybe will make you feel tired.
 
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Blue Rose

Blue Rose

Student
Feb 6, 2021
156
I am fine for now. However I feel my death dwells in my heart. I will embrace it until my CTB or natural death.
 
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x~Sophia~x

x~Sophia~x

Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
Sep 10, 2020
1,360
I have good days and bad days, but I think about ctb every day, regardless.
My good days are still pretty shitty, and my bad days are even shittier. So yeah, I'm with you OP.
 
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Fthis

Fthis

Student
Dec 8, 2020
192
My life isn't even close to a "bad life" but I still hate it. Life still means nothing and. I want to just die. Good days, bad days, I feel terrible and want to die.
 
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one.way.out

one.way.out

Student
Jul 9, 2021
135
Yes. I think of suicide all the time. I think it's cause I still have legitimate reasons to go, even if the reasons aren't causing me that much pain at that time.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,276
My life used to be okay, there was not much wrong in terms of circumstances. But yes, I still wanted to die. I have always seen life as a pointless tedious thing. Living does not appeal to me in any way. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced into this world.
 
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BeautifulMosaics

BeautifulMosaics

Specialist
Aug 15, 2021
310
I'm just bored and have had the life/fire/passion taken out of me that I'm mentally past the point of trying again I think. Even though my life is ok and I'm sure many would envy it. I just feel numb and disinterested.
 
S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,493
Yes. No issues in my life right now. Things are pretty good. But that doesn't mean I'm not getting older by the day (my reason for ctb). So yes, it's always at least in the back of my mind, a constant reminder that I don't have all the time in the world, and I better get going on what I want to accomplish with the time I have left.
 
idontwanttobeme

idontwanttobeme

Member
Feb 1, 2021
12
yes. good days or bad days, life being horrible or being okayish.. it doesnt matter. I'm still me so i will always still want to die and ctb.
 
Jblack

Jblack

Specialist
Oct 8, 2018
314
Yes I do think about suicide when things seem good. For me that is when I have my strongest thoughts about exiting. I don't really know why but the calmness that comes over me at those times seems to lower my SI. It is at those times that I have practiced my method ( as much as I can with hanging). When I exit, it will be at one of those "good times" moments.
 
H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
Yes. When life is going OK I have the thought of "Wait, there's something wrong" and start to feel sui again. I've been suicidal for years. The thought doesn't go away. But feeling good or happy is strange for me.
 
KayKay

KayKay

Member
Aug 12, 2021
32
Yes. Sometimes more actually.
When things are shit and stressful, I tend to go into survival mode and cope and manage. And at least feel something.

when life is ok-ish, the emptiness and lack of meaning and joy is worse. And the suicidal ruse is stronger.
 
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Pure

Pure

Specialist
Jun 29, 2021
366
Define "okay"...

Is it normal? I think most people experience passive suicidal thoughts, the issue is when they start to focus on it.

If you've been suicidal for a long time, it doesn't go away just because you're life changed for the better.

This sort of situation would make you the ideal person to reach out for conventional therapy and the like tbh
 

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