Venting Thoughts

[lv-nii]

Hi, just updating a bit on what's been going on with me.

I haven't checked the page in a while because I've been kind of busy. Right now I'm living with my brother—we get along on a surface level, and that's about it. I really wish I had someone to talk to and express myself with, but doing that with him… he just doesn't care. So why should I keep dragging out this life?

Anyway, it's almost been a month since I moved in with him. It's been really hard to find a job here, and I genuinely want to contribute to the household expenses. I'm feeling extremely desperate and anxious—honestly, the only thing I can think about is how mom is doing. I've been watching anime at night just to forget, even if it's just for a moment, all the bitter things of day-to-day life.

Lately, I've been thinking more about dying, looking for anchor points or something, but this damn apartment doesn't have any. I want to die, damn it. I've also been looking into how to legally get a weapon here, but the paperwork is extensive and you need psychological evaluations just to get the permit (bruh). I could try the dark web, but I've never done that before (any advice would help).

How are you guys?
What have you been up to?
Hugs

 

[Codename_Joryu]

Hey, if you're looking for someone to talk to then I'm always down for it. Just let me know.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I also wish to be gone and I see so much cruelty in how I cannot just access the option to cease existing painlessly that is guaranteed, all I want is peace from this dreadful and futile existence, I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence suffering so unnecessarily just waiting to die anyway, I wish you the best.