Discussion Is anyone elses mom kind of making them depressed?

[calicocat07]

So my mom is possibly a narcissist and constantly changes when its just me and her when my dad and brother are gone when im home because i dont have college that day. The way she talks about everyone feels so nasty and mean and she constantly makes herself a victim when ranting to me. I thought my brother would understand because lately hes been seeing her ugly side start to come out because money is a huge issue and we are struggling to survive and its turning her into a less patient person but when I tell my brother he never really gives me a direct answer about what he thinks or just says maybe. I don't think he believes me and the only time he does is when shes being mean about him. She's honestly draining me. Im so tired and just sad. I've been thinking about cutting because I don't care for therapy. my mom butts in or makes me cut them off if she doesn't like them and if she likes them convinces them I'm dramatic and I'm just the mean bitchy person of the family who can't take a comment or joke.

 

[woofwag]

I'm sorry to hear that. My mom also makes me really suicidal whenever I go to visit her. Idk how to explain it with her. She seems "normal," but she imparts her anxiety and catastrophizing onto me in a way that completely sets me off. She also just has this general aura of annoyance so I can't be around her for too long without getting upset. It doesn't sound bad, but anyone who I bring around her knows what I'm talking about and gets ticked off by her too. Not to mention how she used to emotionally abuse me too and let my dad do worse stuff :p

That sounds like a really exhausting and emotionally confusing situation, especially when your brother doesn't listen to you with the exception of it being when it affects him. I hope you're able to get out as much as possible so you don't have to be around that kind of influence. Idk if your college has dorms, but living on-campus when I was in college was the best decision I ever made to get away from my mom. If you can't do that, I hope you can make a lot of friends who would be willing to alternately host when possible. It really does make a huge difference. And maybe a different therapist too since it seems like your current one isn't a good fit.

 

[tasmaka]

Its not wrong to feel annoyed or disheartened by someone being an ass, even if it is your mom.

The notion that just because its your parents means you cant be upset with them is idiotic, a bad person is a bad person, regardless of their relation. And excuses dont exist, I understand you mentioned you guys are in a tough spot just living-wise, but actions are actions regardless of circumstances.

For that situation, she just sounds miserable and unhappy, therefore taking it out on one of her children, sad but common occurrence. If it makes you feel any better, dont waste energy on people who wouldnt for you, easier said than done but it helps me a bit.

So basically,
Don't feel bad for feeling bad, emotions are a basic function, and don't need a perfect situation in order to be "proper" or "deserved". Dont rush to the extreme to feel better, remember you're better than her just for knowing what shes doing is wrong.