Venting is anyone else suicidal because of autism

[Jon Arbuckle]

I truly despise being autistic, I feel like almost every fucking negative trait I have can be attributed in part to my autism.
I feel like every other person in the world has something to them that I'm just "missing" from myself, I somehow manage to always choose the worst possible thing to do or say when interacting with others. I'm always fucking up. all I do anymore is look back on social interactions I've had and think "why the fuck did I say/do that? what the hell is wrong with me?"
hell, sometimes I even second guess my stupid fucking decisions on what to do, I think "maybe this is a bad idea." and then I DO IT ANYWAY.
I feel like trying to reduce this behavior is a fruitless endeavor because it's almost like an instinct for me to act awkward and make others uncomfortable, it's built into who I am and trying to fix it would be like putting lipstick on a pig.
Is anyone else frustrated with being autistic?

 

[Eternal Eyes]

Yep. Often feels like society just wasn't made for people like me.

 

[lawlietsph]

I'm 99% sure I have undiagnosed autism, so I can't know for sure but.
Yes, because I simply cannot talk to people.
Yes, because making eye contact is the hardest thing.
Yes, because unfortunately I'm not on the smart-genius-side of autism, more like on the wtf-I-don't-understand-this side.
Yes, because lights, smells, touch, and noises are giving me physical pain.
I hate smiling and laughing and stuff, it doesn't come natural to me.
My best friends are animals and I only feel safe in the presence of them.
I can't go to an actual work because I would kill myself in a week from being overstimulated.
Now I have a stupid part time job from home, but even that is making me burnt out, overwhelmed, awful.
As I've said, I have no idea if this is autism or not, but I truly hate to live this way. It is causing many many many problems daily.