Introduce yourself

[el4ine]

Hi everyone,

My name is Soren and I am 20 (will be 21 in October). I have dealt with depression and self-harm since 6th grade (so I guess about 12 years old?) I have been diagnosed with ADHD and BPD, apparently bipolar runs in the family so I am unsure if that's in the fucked up mix. I was abused and neglected emotionally, and sexually when I was young and dealt with repetitive sexual and physical abuse over the last few years in my romantic relationships. I have a loving boyfriend, and my younger brother and I are very close. I have immense guilt about truly contemplating CTB because of them, but it is still an option. I have thought about it for years, ever since I started experiencing psychosis at age 16. I feel alone and ashamed of my feelings, and how my years of cutting, as well as being on medication constantly have affected the people in my life. I came on here to find other people like me, and from what I have seen so far I already feel accepted. It helps to know I am not alone. Anyways, I am very friendly and I try to stay fairly active on here, despite being new. I hope everyone had an okay day, and if not, that you can at least come on here to know that you have a safe place to talk.

Hello! I'm a 25 year old woman from Europe, I have always had a somewhat bleak outlook on life and always kinda assumed I'd end up catching the bus, just didn't know when. But in the past few months I've started to feel ready

Other than I'm a cheery bubbly person and I love making people laugh and smile, so I'm always happy to meet new people! Nice to meet you all!

hello! it's nice to meet you too!!

 

[picklemick]

My life is miserable and about to get worse. I want to be gone before it does. Hello and goodbye hopefully.

 

[Klophy]

Hey, i'm almost 30. I dealt with abuse and bullying while i was younger. Led me to develop anxiety, depression and stress eating + maladaptive daydreaming to cope. All of which increased the bullying. Adopted a fake it till you make it approach which lasted until the end of the first year of Uni, had a breakdown and i've been a NEET since. I was content to waste away, losing myself in whatever until i died.


Now i'm here, lost interest in everything, in debt, anxiety and panic attacks keep me up for the majority of the day. Nothing but overthinking and negative thoughts. I've started to try and 'live' life but i feel like it's too late and i'm just fed up with it all.

This seems more like a rant than a introduction.

 

[ConstantPain]

hi!! i've been lurking here for a few months, but i was too nervous to actually make an account on here until very recently. i guess i just needed a push...

call me apple, i guess. i'm 21 years old and currently residing in florida (god help me). i've been struggling with physical and especially mental health problems pretty much my whole life, and they've only gotten worse with time. they are pretty much completely unbearable! they make living a total fucking chore. it genuinely feels like my body is a fucking torture chamber. i refuse to rot away in a nursing home 60 years from now, and i'm not the least sorry about that. i've had a plan to ctb for a while now, but it's never come to fruition. hopefully someday it will, though...!

please use it/its pronouns when referring to me!!! long story short, those are just the pronouns i'm most comfortable with. (i'm amab, if you're wondering.)

see you around!

Hello Apple!
I just saw your post and totally relate to your Florida comment, and most of the rest too. If you'd like to simply commiserate sometime on our F'd up state I'm here for it.
I'm old, 45! she/her

 

[song321]

Hi 21(turning 22 soon) years old from Canada. This is my first time ever posting on a forum site so I'm pretty nervous haha. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts since high school and started self harm when I was around 13. I don't have any long term plans in life and I see any future for myself where I wouldn't be miserable. I guess the only thing stopping me from ending it all right now is the damn guilt of it.

Anyways hello.

 

[Sun Stealer]

Hello was here 5 years ago guess am back

 

[ave]

Hello! I'm a 25 year old woman from Europe, I have always had a somewhat bleak outlook on life and always kinda assumed I'd end up catching the bus, just didn't know when. But in the past few months I've started to feel ready

Other than I'm a cheery bubbly person and I love making people laugh and smile, so I'm always happy to meet new people! Nice to meet you all!

Glad to meet another person from Europe

 

[MentalStefan]

Hello!
I've been on this forum for 2 years (my nickname was 'grungeCat'). I decided to delete my account a few months ago but I'm back!
For those who don't know me :
I'm 22 years old, demipansexual male. I was born in Poland but I emmigrated to Norway. I love cats, trains and computers. I suffer from autism, severe depression, OCD and probably ADHD and alcohol addiction. I tried to commit suicide 6 times so far... I love this forum and I met a lot of wonderful people there. I'm pro-choice, politically I'm a leftist and I'm LGBTQIA+ enjoyer.

 

[keitaro]

hello everyone. i think it's wonderful that this site exists. it's nice that we can talk about this without judgment and decide for ourselves what the right path to take is.
i'm researching methods right now. my current thought is that i would just like to have a method ready so that i can carry it out when i want to. but first i want to make peace with leaving this life so that nothing will have a hold of me. who knows when that will be.
i hope everyone can achieve what they truly desire in their hearts.
best wishes.

 

[nembutal]

hello. i am 7angels. i searched for this website to find out how to escape my troubled life. i've been hitting road block after road block these days.

im 19, i live in nyc. i like ambient music, eurodance, pokemon, my little pony.

 

[mediocre.marsupial]

Hi. I've been looking for a site like this for a long while now. I have no paths to go down in my life at a time where everybody else my age is at the crossroads. From when I was born autistic my life was set on a dead-end road.

 

[PleaseTakeMeAway]

Hiya. I'm just here, I guess.

I love pets, gaming, reading/writing, and other things. Nice to meet all of you! :)

 

[sadmachine]

I'm in my 20s, transgirl, into anime, gaming, philosophy, space, etc

Getting pretty tired of life and the bad hand I was dealt

 

[abyss]

I am based in the British Isles, late 20s, male. I am quite sad and I ruminate on the past constantly. I am sort of completely broken.
Anyway, it's been nice here so far.

 

[Againstthewind]

Forgot to post here after all this time!

Late twenties/UK, very very exhausted with life after multiple traumas, I think I have experienced every emotion from PTSD to panic to Depression, now I feel I am just a former shell of myself. Looking to CTB asap, but I am also a meticulous planner, so it has to be right. I am alone in the world, which has its benefits I guess, that no one can find me. This forum provides me with an outlook to release my feelings with out being slapped with a label of 'cRaZy' or 'gEt HeLp'. Dont even get me started on Mental Health services, ugh, hate them with a passion, they are the ones letting people down then suicide ever could.
Welcome!

 

[KQuotientW]

I'm 49 years old. I seem to be a magnet for creeps and narcissistic abusers. I'm quiet and mostly keep to myself, but do have a few friends. I don't go looking for trouble, but troublesome people seem to find their way toward me. I've been in and out of court because I have a stalker and LEOs do nothing about him. Plus, I have a genetic, degenerative disability that's just getting too much now. I live with chronic pain and conditions. Catching the bus will be like going home.

 

[sufferingalways]

Hello! I'm a 25 year old woman from Europe, I have always had a somewhat bleak outlook on life and always kinda assumed I'd end up catching the bus, just didn't know when. But in the past few months I've started to feel ready

Other than I'm a cheery bubbly person and I love making people laugh and smile, so I'm always happy to meet new people! Nice to meet you all!

Hello nice to "meet" you too, Im a 35+ Female in England. I like making people laugh too. I write silly jokes sometimes. Sometimes they're funny.

I'm 49 years old. I seem to be a magnet for creeps and narcissistic abusers. I'm quiet and mostly keep to myself, but do have a few friends. I don't go looking for trouble, but troublesome people seem to find their way toward me. I've been in and out of court because I have a stalker and LEOs do nothing about him. Plus, I have a genetic, degenerative disability that's just getting too much now. I live with chronic pain and conditions. Catching the bus will be like going home.

hello, sorry to hear that you're going through such hellish experiences. hugs

Forgot to post here after all this time!

Late twenties/UK, very very exhausted with life after multiple traumas, I think I have experienced every emotion from PTSD to panic to Depression, now I feel I am just a former shell of myself. Looking to CTB asap, but I am also a meticulous planner, so it has to be right. I am alone in the world, which has its benefits I guess, that no one can find me. This forum provides me with an outlook to release my feelings with out being slapped with a label of 'cRaZy' or 'gEt HeLp'. Dont even get me started on Mental Health services, ugh, hate them with a passion, they are the ones letting people down then suicide ever could.
Welcome!

Hello, i agree eith you on the mental health services, bgbest load of tossers u e had misfortune to know (and get kicked off the service i needed - by libelous care coordinator. Ill have my day in coirt, so i feel your pains. Complex ptsd here too.
Shitty circumstances that we try best to cope, but as a song by Duran Duran seems to fit mine, Falling Down.

If you want to talk, ruminate etc my message box is open. Im not on every day but i will reply.

Hiya. I'm just here, I guess.

I love pets, gaming, reading/writing, and other things. Nice to meet all of you! :)

Hello i love writing too. What sorts of things do you write?

mines poems, (a film script- film made is at you tube)
Scripts, a book in progress, lots of bitty things.

 

[joeythinks]

I can't remember exactly how or when I found this place, but I've been lurking for a while and recently signed up. Reading through threads has been cathartic for me, but now - actually posting - I'm struck by the reality of the state of my mental health.

I have a long history of mental health issues in my family. Both my father and paternal grandfather took their own lives. My mother, a person I've never known, had her own issues... While I know it's not true, I still feel like my story has been written for me, you know?

I'm a British man in his early 30s. I don't feel tip-top, but knowing there are others who feel similarly to me does help. Misery loves company eh!

I'm going to go back to lurking for now, but perhaps I'll start to post regularly. Maybe I'll see you in the comments of another thread sometime.

 

[The Best Vacuum]

I kinda found this place through an old partner and her mentions of CTB. Funny that I'm here after all that but it happens I suppose.
I'm a 26 year old woman in the US and I like this place because it doesn't have some gross emphasis on trying to save people.

 

[mugiusagi]

I am 20 yo m.
I am involved in some communities completely unrelated to this forum, but I like the vibe of no judgement here.
I support lgbt because I'm bi and enjoy anime.
I Try to cheer myself and the people that support me.

 

[Coffeebean77]

I am in my mid-40s. I've been lurking and decided to join. Nice to meet you all.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Pleasure to meet you guys.

New around here but not much to say about myself since time is short for me so no point for a proper introduction. However, I just wanted to say it's nice to be surrounded by other people going down the same path. There's some comfort in that at least.

 

[Jrmull1993]

Hey everyone I'm John.

Came across this forum while reading up on Sodium Azide, and I'm glad I found this, seems like a great group of people.

I'm 29, live in one of the five boroughs of NYC, and have 73 days left until I exit this world early. Feel free to PM me at any time if your interested in any specifics.

I'm looking forward to being a part of this community for the bit of time I have left.

 

[damaged_soul]

Hi everyone, I'm so, so glad that I've found this site. I filled out my member application yesterday and was stressed about whether it was going to be approved. I was absolutely overjoyed when it was! (You know you have a sad life when your greatest achievement is getting accepted into a suicide forum loll). I've only been on here for one day now yet it feels like home. I feel much less lonely. Just yesterday I was crying from loneliness but I feel much better now knowing I have a place where I'm understood. A few months ago I tried to ctb. Unfortunately I didn't know about this site, so I didn't have access to high-quality information or support. So despite my greatest efforts (I spent 40+ hrs researching my chosen method by reading medical journal articles and created a detailed plan), I failed. In hindsight, I really wish I had known about this site earlier, it could have saved me so much pain and stress. But better late than never! I'm excited to finally be able to talk to people who understand and I hope to ctb with N soon. After my attempt failed, I had been planning to travel to Latin America to try to find N in person because I didn't know it could be purchased online. If I didn't find out about this forum, I probably would have ended up wasting a lot of money and putting myself in great danger!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Just a reminder...
Don't post too much personal information.

1.) Name
2.) Location (Not too specific anyway, L.E. and pro-lifers are on here) If had not already I wouldn't have even posted
the country I'm from.
3.) Personal pics (They can be doxed) It's happened before.
4.) Ordering and receiving dates (If you choose to order anything online)
5.) Beware of scammers.... There's a sticky thread about this.

It has been awhile since I have been in this thread, I guess I've been busy with the other threads.
Most members are kind on here but like the rest of the internet.... Some aren't. I don't think it's as bad as most places though.

 

[suicidalwillreturn]

Hi, I'm Emmanuel
I'm from Asia, so I'm using ESL, apologies for my grammar.
23 Male
I don't know if I even have any mental disorders since I'm not diagnosed and I don't want to self-diagnose.
Can't go to a mental health professional because of financial constraints and also due to doubt but majority because of financial constraints.
I'm your typical stereotype, I loved video games, mostly PC since we can't afford consoles. Always asked for them but my parents didn't spoil me (that's what my parents always say). Well, I disagree with that statement because I never learned a life skill because they never let me do any house chores. I had a nanny all my life when we were financially stable. My dad died when I was 16, and I was left with a loving mom. I had friends when I was in elementary and high school but never really maintained them outside school. As what I've searched, their is a term for that, they said it's friends out of convenience. Overweight my whole life but now I'm started to somewhat exercise and I'm slimming down. But I also think skipping meals may be a factor to that. There's a lot of things I like to share but I think this is starting to get long. Always had the ideation since I was in high school but it was more of 99% joke and 1% real but now after I graduate and self-reflect, the suicidal thoughts seems too real now. I think I'm slowly losing everything. I think it's just a matter of time and if I would truly hit rock bottom, who knows? Does God know? I don't know

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hi, I'm xxxxxxxx
I'm from Asia, so I'm using ESL, apologies for my grammar.

I don't know if I even have any mental disorders since I'm not diagnosed and I don't want to self-diagnose.
Can't go to a mental health professional because of financial constraints and also due to doubt but majority because of financial constraints.
I'm your typical stereotype, I loved video games, mostly PC since we can't afford consoles. Always asked for them but my parents didn't spoil me (that's what my parents always say). Well, I disagree with that statement because I never learned a life skill because they never let me do any house chores. I had a nanny all my life when we were financially stable. My dad died when I was 16, and I was left with a loving mom. I had friends when I was in elementary and high school but never really maintained them outside school. As what I've searched, their is a term for that, they said it's friends out of convenience. Overweight my whole life but now I'm started to somewhat exercise and I'm slimming down. But I also think skipping meals may be a factor to that. There's a lot of things I like to share but I think this is starting to get long. Always had the ideation since I was in high school but it was more of 99% joke and 1% real but now after I graduate and self-reflect, the suicidal thoughts seems too real now. I think I'm slowly losing everything. I think it's just a matter of time and if I would truly hit rock bottom, who knows? Does God know? I don't know

Just wanted to say welcome to S.S.
Sorry that circumstances brought you here. Just be careful what personal information you post.
There is L.E. & Prolifers on here.
(See above post)
I also removed your name from my reply so it doesn't stay there.

 

[suicidalwillreturn]

Just wanted to say welcome to S.S.
Sorry that circumstances brought you here. Just be careful what personal information you post.
There is L.E. & Prolifers on here.
(See above post)
I also removed your name from my reply so it doesn't stay there.

Will take note of that, thank you.

Though if I may ask, what's the meaning of "L.E"?

 

[sufferingalways]

Hiya. I'm just here, I guess.

I love pets, gaming, reading/writing, and other things. Nice to meet all of you! :)

Hello GageTheSpartan how are you? ️️

Hi, I'm
I'm from Asia, so I'm using ESL, apologies for my grammar.
23 Male
I don't know if I even have any mental disorders since I'm not diagnosed and I don't want to self-diagnose.
Can't go to a mental health professional because of financial constraints and also due to doubt but majority because of financial constraints.
I'm your typical stereotype, I loved video games, mostly PC since we can't afford consoles. Always asked for them but my parents didn't spoil me (that's what my parents always say). Well, I disagree with that statement because I never learned a life skill because they never let me do any house chores. I had a nanny all my life when we were financially stable. My dad died when I was 16, and I was left with a loving mom. I had friends when I was in elementary and high school but never really maintained them outside school. As what I've searched, their is a term for that, they said it's friends out of convenience. Overweight my whole life but now I'm started to somewhat exercise and I'm slimming down. But I also think skipping meals may be a factor to that. There's a lot of things I like to share but I think this is starting to get long. Always had the ideation since I was in high school but it was more of 99% joke and 1% real but now after I graduate and self-reflect, the suicidal thoughts seems too real now. I think I'm slowly losing everything. I think it's just a matter of time and if I would truly hit rock bottom, who knows? Does God know? I don't know

Hello im sorry to hear that you're feeling so rotten. My inbox is open if you need a shoulder. Random topics, anything
All private message talk stays private. Hugs SA

Will take note of that, thank you.

Though if I may ask, what's the meaning of "L.E"?

How can i remove a name from someone's reply too please?

Will take note of that, thank you.

Though if I may ask, what's the meaning of "L.E"?

I would like to know that too.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Will take note of that, thank you.

Though if I may ask, what's the meaning of "L.E"?

Sorry... So used to using the abbreviation for Law Enforcement.
If you are removing someone's name from a post you are repling to, you can just move the cursor to the end of their name and backspace until it's gone. You should do it before you post. You have some time after to edit a post, not sure how long you have to do it.
If it's a post from the original poster, they have to do it.

Hello GageTheSpartan how are you? ️️


Hello im sorry to hear that you're feeling so rotten. My inbox is open if you need a shoulder. Random topics, anything
All private message talk stays private. Hugs SA


How can i remove a name from someone's reply too please?

Just screwed this up. Going to try to edit it.

I accidentally deleted what you said and put what I was saying in there. I don't think I can fix it.