Introduce yourself

[sufferingalways]

Duhh so simple. How did i miss that?
Thanks for that. Ill keep it in mind. & LE .. thanks.

 

[Kurt]

My name is Kurt.
Method: N2 gas. | Date: At the passing of my older spouse (time is ticking...)
Reason Here: Immediate Procurement | Shared Experiences.

I'm new and not able to post questions yet. Questions about suppliers: cyberweld gas, escMode, etc. This is my first priority to procure the correct equipment. I am anxious about getting this accuried quickly. Once I have the option secured, I'll be a better spouse for him. I'll be more present, enjoying the limited time we do have together now.

Thanks everyone for the welcome as I may make some mistakes trying to navigate both the rules and resources here. ~ Kurt.

 

[emgrl]

Hi, I'm new here, thanks for the approval. I'm grateful to have this site for support…

 

[TheLastK]

Hi everyone, joined just today. Would be great to meet more people and just be able to discuss things. I'm still unsure as to how exactly this site works in terms of posting privileges and what not but I'm grateful to be here regardless.

 

[Idoe.know]

Hello.
I am a 30something female identifying human. I came here in hopes of not feeling so alone in my thoughts and possibly finding a community I can actually identify with.

My story isn't special. Just mentally ill and have an ongoing case of bad luck. I can't get out of poverty. My fiance left me. I can't function properly in social situations. I feel like an alien around others. Things keep piling up with age and the "it gets better" hasn't happened yet; I have a suspicion it won't.

I'm so tired of being sad all the time and I've tried practically everything to change it. I just can't feel bliss like I use to. It's like there is a barrier between me and real happiness and I'm too weak to climb over to it. I have no hope but I do fear where I'll go if I decide to leave on my own terms.

I just don't want to feel completely alone anymore.

 

[PeacefulDreams]

Hi there.
Thanks for approving my account. It's nice to meet you all
I like writing poetry and stories, but my motivation has declined, so I haven't written anything in a while.

 

[ariverruns]

Hello Everyone, nice to see this forum. I had pretty dumb ideas about how to leave, and this forum has helped me a lot.
I ordered for SN, and if all goes well, I should be getting it in a few days. I guess that I have always been unhappy and friendless, save for short bouts of happiness which I did not deserve. Anyway, immediate concern was to choose a short, quick method., am drinking and doing weed meanwhile. Hopefully I'll have enough to keep me going until the SN arrives.

 

[Onboro]

Hello. Thank you for approving my request to join. I'm a woman of few words, so I apologise if I come off as blunt in the future.
I have been trying to fix my life for well over a decade now, but both my physical and mental health have started to deteriorate to the point where I can't continue on for much longer. Doesn't help that I've also fallen in debt hell. I have a chosen method to CTB, but timing isn't completely set in stone yet.

 

[Sick of it all]

Hello, new here I'm 44 and am cursed with schizophrenia, bipolar, and massive depression with suicidal symptoms. I happened upon this place while searching for ways to CTB. It has given me a ray of light to know that I'm not alone in my suffering. I appreciate all of you and hope you find what you seek.

 

[FunnyBunny]

Hi everyone, I'm a young pathetic person who by bad luck suffered a traumatic experience as a child and the subsequent PTSD/phobia that resulted from it have led me here. Can't live with this fear anymore. Anyways, I'm glad to have found a place to discuss my suicidal thoughts without facing judgment or criticism or being forced into a psych ward.

 

[flightless bird]

Hello there.

I've been reading you guys for a while now, and I decided to join. I just wanna say that you are all amazing people and I mean it.

It feels kinda strange to me seeing that there are others like me out there. You all probably know how it is being alone inside yourself. I too have been that way all my life, since childhood. I have always had the feeling that something was not right, didn't know what it was. I've always felt that I wasn't like most people. Well, years have passed and now I am a bit more enlightened I guess. I now know that the problem wasn't really me, it was the world. The world that turned me into this walking-talking overthinking suffering machine. Well, in this heck of a realm, the only way out seems to be ending yourself, and I am one of the unlucky few who became aware of it.

Best wishes to you all.

 

[heavybook904]

Just glad I found this place. I've been ready for a long time but have been largely unable to disclose it for fear of hospitalization or intervention. These posts are refreshing.

 

[Tiberius85]

Hi all, have been a silent reader for a while. Not sure how I got here.... one thing leads to the next, I guess.

I'm in my mid 30s, have what many would consider a good and "happy" life, certainly on the surface. I fully appreciate that, I should be grateful. Though there is so much f***ed up about my existence at the same time, with no way to ever rectify or change and some stuff of it I can never ever talk about with anyone in the world.

I struggle for real purpose and meaning in a life that leaves me empty inside. The shallowness of existence and the shallowness of human beings. Yet I don't want to leave this world now, at the same time can relate to anyone who wish to be gone and left in peace without having to think and trapped in their own head with all the negative emotions and feelings.

Anyway, have a good day/night everyone.

 

[suicidebuddyneeded]

Hello,

Im a 27 year old female. Ive had thoughts if suicide for as long as I can remember. Even as a child I can remember just not wanting to be here and to not exist.

As a child I was more or less alone, felt left out or that I didnt belong. I still have those feelings now, im just better at making people like me I suppose.

Knowing what to say to what person so they enjoy my company. Different masks for different people. But deep down never truly liking myself. Enjoying who I am under each mask for a while but not knowing who I really am. And not really wanting to either if im honest.

Ive had attempts. All unsuccessful obviously. Down to not having right equipment/knowledge as I was young majority of times.

I dont know how many times ive looked up the assistant suicide links (as im sure alot of you have) but unfortunately its not that easy. Then I came across SS, so sorry that im late to the party.

As ive had failed attempts previously id love to have a partner to do it with. Someone who wants to go like myself. A person by my side at the end who I could also do that for. (Can you tell ive abandonment/neglect core wound).

Its funny because if you spoke to anyone I know they would never expect this of me. Sure they know ive had hard times like us all. But I mean always wanting in my heart to just not exist. Ive never really accomplished anything in life because realistically I didnt think id be here this long. I didnt even think I would make it past 21. But unfortunately im still here and feeling as hopeless as ever.

Im based in Ireland, anybody else?

 

[quietam pacem12]

Hallo Leute,

Ich habe bemerkt, dass viele Threads mit neuen Mitgliedern auftauchen, die Hallo sagen. Um Unordnung zu vermeiden, haben wir uns entschieden, einen Willkommens-Thread für alle Neuen zu erstellen, um sich vorzustellen, und für Leute, die sie willkommen heißen, indem wir im Grunde alle zukünftigen Willkommensbeiträge in diesem zusammenführen.

Willkommen bei Sanctioned Suicide, wir sind ein Pro-Choice-Forum; Sie unbedingt die Regeln und lesen Sie sich auch die Ressource an!

Veröffentlichen Sie hier Ihre Vorstellung!

Hallo zusammen
Ich bin quietam pacem12
Lang hab ich gesucht, wo der andere weiß, wovon man spricht und versteht es ohne zu verurteilen. Mein Leben ist seit 47 Jahren nur ein Kampf und ich hab mich entschlossen, meinem Kopf endlich Ruhe zu geben. Ich will nicht mehr kämpfen. Ich sehne mich nur nach Ruhe und ich will nicht mehr aufwachen.
Ich fühl mich hier ganz gut aufgehoben, denke ich.

 

[wayitis1945]

Hello,

Im a 27 year old female. Ive had thoughts if suicide for as long as I can remember. Even as a child I can remember just not wanting to be here and to not exist.

As a child I was more or less alone, felt left out or that I didnt belong. I still have those feelings now, im just better at making people like me I suppose.

Knowing what to say to what person so they enjoy my company. Different masks for different people. But deep down never truly liking myself. Enjoying who I am under each mask for a while but not knowing who I really am. And not really wanting to either if im honest.

Ive had attempts. All unsuccessful obviously. Down to not having right equipment/knowledge as I was young majority of times.

I dont know how many times ive looked up the assistant suicide links (as im sure alot of you have) but unfortunately its not that easy. Then I came across SS, so sorry that im late to the party.

As ive had failed attempts previously id love to have a partner to do it with. Someone who wants to go like myself. A person by my side at the end who I could also do that for. (Can you tell ive abandonment/neglect core wound).

Its funny because if you spoke to anyone I know they would never expect this of me. Sure they know ive had hard times like us all. But I mean always wanting in my heart to just not exist. Ive never really accomplished anything in life because realistically I didnt think id be here this long. I didnt even think I would make it past 21. But unfortunately im still here and feeling as hopeless as ever.

Im based in Ireland, anybody else?

I'm in Northern Ireland

 

[suicidebuddyneeded]

I'm in Northern Ireland

Only up the road so

 

[wayitis1945]

Only up the road

Only up the road so

When would suit you?

 

[ratgirl40216]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

I am from Indinapolis. I have complex ptsd, depression, an eating disorder social anxiety and many physical health issues as well. I lost my brother the day after my birthday.

 

[Ginnn]

Hi to everyone. I'm uasually a shy and akward girl, especialy when talking in English because I don't fully speak it, but seing people that are just as screwd up in life as I am gives me more confidence. I'll try to be as active as possible.
Wish you all the best

 

[thepassenger]

Hello everyone.

I'm an adult human who's been dealing with a lot of issues for a long time. They've completely frozen me so I'm unable to do anything.
I've been procrastinating catching the bus for years, but having thought through every option I know it's time to get a move on and leave.

I have lots of notes to take from different threads on this site, but once I've made good progress with that I will start to interact with others here, to help where I can.

I don't want to come across as being too depressing. There are lots of wonderful parts of and aspects to life, from big things to tiny details. I'm not a nihilist. It's just those good parts aren't open to some, and eventually the balance tips so far in the negative direction that it's not worth hanging around even for the few good things.

On my journey I have discovered people talking about their Near Death Experiences (NDEs). Whilst I don't expect you to agree with me, the consistent threads in the NDE testimonies I've heard has convinced me that reincarnation is real: that we come into this life to learn certain lessons, to have certain experiences. This is very difficult to hear for us humans because so much suffering in this life seems so arbitary. Our suffering may not make sense on this side, but on the other side we look at things in a very different way. Of course I may be wrong - in many ways I hope so. It would be much easier to just die and that's it for you for eternity.
If I had a say in my life before birth, I think I bit off more than I could chew.

So here we are. Though here for different reasons, we've all found life has been too much. Let us not weep but walk away in peaceful acceptance.

 

[tiny_dancer]

Hi everyone,

Brand new here but I've been reading posts since I discovered the forum a few weeks ago. My life was great until a medical treatment gone wrong 3 years ago that I had mostly recovered from and was planning on leaving my toxic marriage and starting fresh. But then I ended up having another one that completely ruined me, only 4 months ago. My health and life are destroyed and it's been really hard to come to terms with what my life used to be, what I've lost so suddenly, and what it is now. And I have nobody to blame but myself for listening to "professionals" and going through with the treatment that I really didn't need in the first place.

I'm so thankful I found this place. I was feeling very alone in my sadness and feelings of wanting to CTB. From reading all your posts it is very clear this place is full of kind, compassionate, empathic people who support each other no matter what.

I don't often talk about myself so it feels kind of weird but thanks for listening.

Xo

 

[Interloper]

Only up the road so

If you get 10 posts I believe we can PM you.

 

[GreyCTB]

Hey guys. I'm new here, but I have been lurking for a long time. I'm hoping to catch the bus within the next 2 weeks and feel compelled to share some of my thoughts and struggles about suicide with you all in the meantime. Hopefully I will be able to give back to this community with my posts. Thanks for reading

 

[passagem18]

hey
i like movies

 

[4390101]

'sup my fav anime is matantei loki ragnarok, i suck at shooting games yet i love playing splatoon, my cat is my baby and i love her even when she does stupind shit like hissing at my computer or sleeping on her litter box, i'm obsessed with rythm games and vocaloid music, i speak 3 languages and suck at speaking with other people so i never put them into real practice lmao, i usually never leave my room and fit into the "chronically online" category

 

[complexptsd]

hello. 32, she/her, have always lived in the Bible Belt sadly.

i have had suicidal fantasies since I was a child, stemming from an obsession with martyrs/martyrdom (and frankly, an obsession with Jesus.) also did a lot of SH for about a decade--because i thought i could punish myself into being "good" and if i suffered enough eventually people would love me.

i grew up in a cult with an abusive pedophile father and have never felt like I could integrate into society normally. i am a freak who didn't grow up with the same cultural touchstones as everyone (movies, tv, music--none of that was allowed.) no one wants to hear about my childhood or adolescence because it's too depressing, and as I've gotten older my CPTSD just seems to get worse. the nightmares are overtaking me. every night i either dream of being abused by my father or watching him abuse someone else. with time and experience i am beginning to understand that things do not in fact "get better" and the lies I was sold by "suicide prevention" campaigns have just hurt me worse in the long run.

currently have a plan, but i've had plans before and not gone through with them so we'll see. mostly came here to study up on SN and hopefully get insight for harm reduction.

grateful that this space exists.

 

[eliza23]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Hi my names rose I'm 18 I live In Georgia for the time being but I will be traveling around till I can find a place that I would love to call my home. I am a problem. I am a complete Mess and totally lost in life. I love anime, cooking, writing and reading as well as eating and exploring and learning new things. I love listening to music and I also love helping people with what ever I can. Nice to meet everyone but its best no one gets close to me because they always leave after saying they'll never leave me or they say I should just go die and sometimes they also end up dying from everything other than suicide and somehow always have a letter that blames me or those are their last words "it's all your fault".

 

[jodes2]

This is my new account to replace my deleted 'jodes' one, hello again folks it's good to be back

 

[jenycosmos33]

Hi everyone and thanks for the approval !!
Well, here is my first comment..

My name is Jenny, I'm from latinamerica, I'm almost 30 years old and in few words I'm totally unhappy and unfortunate.. I have no friends, no money, no life, my family don't understand me, I have mental illness since years ago, so the question I do to myself everyday is: why I'm still alive? The only thing I can do now is wait for the bus. But if the things (for some reason) get better in the future, maybe I will reconsider this choise.

This is the only comunity which i think i belong and this site makes me feel confortable. I hope get support and support others as well.