Introduce yourself

[BagofBones]

30yr|F|USA

Hey there!

I am at peace with the fact that I will eventually CTB, but I'm not in a hurry. I have been tols I have 'Suicidal Obsession' and 'Intrusive thoughts'...so I'm REALLY fun at parties.

Im semi knowledgeable, moderately amusing, and a decent conversationalist..lets be scrdwed up morbid friends while we can ;)

 

[SadPotato]

Hello, everyone. Registered months ago but finally coming out of my depression shell momentarily to say hi to everyone and introduce myself. I'm a Mom from the States, struggling with depression, anxiety and severe lupus. I appreciate your posts and comments very much, here. It's a wonderful group.

 

[waived]

Hello, I happened upon this place a few days ago while considering things. I stayed because the general context here is a daily state of being for me, which much of the rest of the world is at open hostilities with, or vice versa, it doesn't really matter which way. I'd cautiously say having a socially understanding sphere to skip out from is more desirable and feels closer to love than anything else in this nightmare.

 

[Logic]

Hello! When I am not as work I like to work out and think about philosophical concepts like why is our suicide policy based on monotheism etc. Why I am not currently suicidal, I support the right to die for everyone as long as the person is making their choice to die on reasonably correct information.

 

[color_me_gone]

so I'm REALLY fun at parties

LOL, me too!

 

[color_me_gone]

socially understanding sphere to skip out from is more desirable

Agree with you 100% waived. See the link I have in my signature box below.
I am looking for a friend. Reach out to me anytime. I will listen to you if you will listen to me.

 

[Matthew]

Hi, I am 27 and have been on the fence since I was 9 years old. See you all around.

 

[locusdelicti]

Hello. I'm 42, and I live in the US. My father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers, and he pulled me aside at Christmas and asked if I could help him die on his own terms. He was (and is) a terrific father, and unlike the rest of my family, I believe he has the right to make his own choice about how to die with dignity. He isn't the most internet-savvy person on the planet, not that I am, but I'm going to help him however I can. It's his right, damn it, and I owe him everything. I'm pretty overwhelmed with all of the information, as this is all new to me. I downloaded the "PPH" (I think I got that acronym right...), and I'll read that tonight. It's critical he suffers no pain and that he dies with the dignity with which he has lived. Guess I'll wade into the forums and figure out all this stuff...

 

[color_me_gone]

It's critical he suffers no pain and that he dies with the dignity with which he has lived.

I understand completely what you are saying.
Sadly, in most states, assisted suicide is illegal. You could get in serious trouble, if caught.
In a handful of states, physician assisted suicide is allowed, if the patient meets a certain set of conditions.
You could travel to Switzerland, where euthanasia is legal, even for foreigners.
But that is costly, at least $10k.
If you need and want to circumvent the law, Inert Gas Asphyxiation is the kindest, most dignified, and least detectable method. I consider it second only to dying in your sleep, which, of course, we cannot control.
See TiredHorse's thread:
Exit bag and inert gas megathread
TiredHorse is very knowledgeable and compassionate. I believe he can be great help to you.

 

[locusdelicti]

I understand completely what you are saying.
Sadly, in most states, assisted suicide is illegal. You could get in serious trouble, if caught.
In a handful of states, physician assisted suicide is allowed, if the patient meets a certain set of conditions.
You could travel to Switzerland, where euthanasia is legal, even for foreigners.
But that is costly, at least $10k.
If you need and want to circumvent the law, Inert Gas Asphyxiation is the kindest, most dignified, and least detectable method. I consider it second only to dying in your sleep, which, of course, we cannot control.
See TiredHorse's thread:
Exit bag and inert gas megathread
TiredHorse is very knowledgeable and compassionate. I believe he can be great help to you.

Thank you for this. It appears "N" is the quickest and easiest, but it also appears to be fraught with logistical difficulties. I'm thinking it may just be easier to fly down to Mexico with him, to hire someone to help me, and just spend some time on the beach with him. I'm still a little overwhelmed by all of the hurdles involved. I'm not sure my father is going to want to do something involving a bag, but I'll certainly look into it. Again, much appreciated.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Hello. I'm 42, and I live in the US. My father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers, and he pulled me aside at Christmas and asked if I could help him die on his own terms. He was (and is) a terrific father, and unlike the rest of my family, I believe he has the right to make his own choice about how to die with dignity. He isn't the most internet-savvy person on the planet, not that I am, but I'm going to help him however I can. It's his right, damn it, and I owe him everything. I'm pretty overwhelmed with all of the information, as this is all new to me. I downloaded the "PPH" (I think I got that acronym right...), and I'll read that tonight. It's critical he suffers no pain and that he dies with the dignity with which he has lived. Guess I'll wade into the forums and figure out all this stuff...

I can totally relate to this, I would have done the same if my mother had asked me when she got diagnosed. I've not been to see her in a few months but my sister phoned earlier to let me know that she has deteriorated quite a bit. I would still do it if she asked me to, and accept the consequences.

 

[Smilla]

I can totally relate to this, I would have done the same if my mother had asked me when she got diagnosed. I've not been to see her in a few months but my sister phoned earlier to let me know that she has deteriorated quite a bit. I would still do it if she asked me to, and accept the consequences.

My Mom also has dementia. Hers is early onset (at age 59) she developed horrible symptoms 11 years ago and currently resides in a nursing home.

My brother is an anesthesiologist and could easily kill her but for obvious reasons he can't.

I would if I could.

Alzheimer's is horrific, both for the sufferer and caregivers (my Mom is in a nursing home but in the early stages we managed her care and it took the life out of me).

 

[Johnnythefox]

My Mom also has dementia. Hers is early onset (at age 59) she developed horrible symptoms 11 years ago and currently resides in a nursing home.

My brother is an anesthesiologist and could easily kill her but for obvious reasons he can't.

I would if I could.

Alzheimer's is horrific, both for the sufferer and caregivers (my Mom is in a nursing home but in the early stages we managed her care and it took the life out of me).

I've seen the advanced stages many times in the past through work, it's not a pretty sight. I know what's ahead for her and could easily put a pillow over her. Apparently exhaust fumes play a big part in contributing to dementia.

 

[Smilla]

I've seen the advanced stages many times in the past through work, it's not a pretty sight. I know what's ahead for her and could easily put a pillow over her. Apparently exhaust fumes play a big part in contributing to dementia.

I have it on both sides. Uncle on Fathers side spoke three languages and developed it at 50. Another reason I want to ctb. My genes are fucked completely.

My Mom tried to participate in a study for dementia (early onset) years ago but couldn't sit still in the MRI, so they ousted her.

The Dr said she was too feisty, as she has always been. Oddly she is more kind now than she has ever been as her disease progressed.

 

[Smilla]

Thank you for this. It appears "N" is the quickest and easiest, but it also appears to be fraught with logistical difficulties. I'm thinking it may just be easier to fly down to Mexico with him, to hire someone to help me, and just spend some time on the beach with him. I'm still a little overwhelmed by all of the hurdles involved. I'm not sure my father is going to want to do something involving a bag, but I'll certainly look into it. Again, much appreciated.

Call final exit network. They will help.

 

[locusdelicti]

Call final exit network. They will help.

Exit Network. Got it. I'll look into it. I appreciate all the help I can get. I've spent most of the afternoon pouring through this site, just soaking up knowledge. My dad spent his whole life making my life better. I'll go to hell and back to give him what he wants and deserves.

 

[Smilla]

Exit Network. Got it. I'll look into it. I appreciate all the help I can get. I've spent most of the afternoon pouring through this site, just soaking up knowledge. My dad spent his whole life making my life better. I'll go to hell and back to give him what he wants and deserves.

I spoke to them. PM me for more info if you want.
Edit: I don't mean to sound cryptic but I don't want to say too much on a public forum.

 

[Sixfeetunder]

Hi, I'm sixfeetunder because I want to be 6 feet under.

 

[color_me_gone]

Hi, I'm sixfeetunder because I want to be 6 feet under.

Hi sixfeet,
c_m_g here.
Welcome to our playground!
I want to snuff out on inert gas, then cremation, then as a special request, just flush my ashes down the toilet.
No muss, no fuss.

 

[onegoodreason]

LOL, me too!

Do we still even go to parties??! ;-} lol

Wow, this came in too far down to make any contextual sense. It was a reference to a previus post about 'being fun at parties', with irony. Think I'll stop right there!? (oh brother!?)

 

[color_me_gone]

Do we still even go to parties

My wife is very sociable.
She tries to drag me to social gatherings, which I hate, she gets annoyed.
So I just bide my time trying to bend in with the woodwork as best as I can.
She hates it that I don't want to go anywhere.

 

[onegoodreason]

My wife is very sociable.
She tries to drag me to social gatherings, which I hate, she gets annoyed.
So I just bide my time trying to bend in with the woodwork as best as I can.
She hates it that I don't want to go anywhere.

Oy, that must just be such torture for you, Jerry!? Ugh. Can you suggest to her that she could/should go on her own, that you're just either not interested, or feign fatigue or a headache, or something? You probably have done all that and then some already, yes? Have you always felt that way at parties? Find a quiet corner to sit by yourself and maybe observe? So awkward sometimes, I know. Been there, done that too many times.

Oddly, I was the more social one, husband rarely wanted to ever go to gatherings (Christmas parties from my work, etc., or my family gatherings, or even his own family). Kind of reversed now, though, although he still doesn't particularly care for such things. Then again, he goes out for a good part of the day nearly every day, so who knows what he's doing? Anyway, I'm the one who doesn't want to go anywhere now, or do anything with anyone. Get out the smile on a stick, even just to do errands.

 

[color_me_gone]

just be such torture

Going to bed now, will reply tomorrow.
Good night, J

 

[9a91]

Hi everyone! First I want to thank this forum for existing, world is a better place with places that respect human freedom.

I'm here because I'm suicidal. My depression and anxiety was built up by wrong interactions with society. When I was a kid I was bullied by both peers and adults at school. My parents never cared about me, never talked nor taught me anything. Quick skip through all the suffering I'm 25 now and tried my best at education and job soon to be reminded how society works. I'm tired of people reminding me to feel guilty for state of my life like it is my fault. They wanted me to think that if anything bad happens it is my fault. I feel like an another corpse on stack so others climb up to their successful lives. Guess nature favorizes survival of the fittest, the best gene wins. I have goals and dreams but I know that I will never catch them in this heavy body that is unsuited to living and experiencing happiness. In my free time I was learning japanese so I can visit this country but now there is no chance. There's something special about Japanese society, like how more suicidal they are but still tend to be more organized society than western ones. I was kinda weeaboo but I actually was learning the language and reading japanese books while my friends just watched anime in english. They don't really know I am suicidal because I'm wearing a mask too often but sometimes I have enough of being there just for laughs and nothing substantial. I tried to OD a week ago. I want to succeed next time by both OD and full suspended hanging. I want to show that I, nearly blind person, have limits to my suffering and can do it even if the uncaring society thinks otherwise.

We're still a primitive civilization where suicide is the prevailing medicine to social and neurological problems now because our medicine has no cure or treatment. There's no system in this world that would cure these problems better than like that. I hope in the far future these problems will be well understood and fixed. Like the ancient chinese philosophy says, if our times are not welcoming then we shall come again when they will.

After one unsuccessful try, I'm here to share it. I'm sorry if I am too timid and unreadable. Thank you for having me.

 

[SelfishMom]

Hi so I'm here because I've been flirting with suicide since June of last year. I've always been macabre and considered it, but now I'm almost certain I will die by my own hand at some point in this life.

I'm married and have a kid. She's the only thing keeping me here. I used to homeschool her and be so good at it, but had to enroll her in public school due to me not getting out of bed. She wrote in her diary it felt like she didn't have a mom anymore. OOF.

I've never had a real job. I've had the chance to get one but I usually freak out and ghost the employer because of anxiety when it comes right down to it.

I feel like I should have never been born. My depression is highly treatment resistant and I feel like that's just because I'm not supposed to be here. Should have been tossed of a bridge as an infant.

 

[color_me_gone]

Hi so I'm here because I've been flirting with suicide

Welcome to SS, SelfishMom.
We are here to listen. We do not judge. We will support you in whatever you choose.
We know the pain. We know life sucks. We will not give you any of that "temporary problem" crap.
I've suffered depression for 61 years, I know personally how little the mental health people know.
Hope we can help you find you peace.

 

[color_me_gone]

Wow, this came in too far down to make any contextual sense.

Sadly, this software does not nest parent/child relationships.
An arrow is provided in the quote, which if clicked, will take you back to the parent in the thread.
Click the back arrow in your browser to return to the child response in the thread. (Repeat if necessary.)

This format does not work well for chit-chat, which is why the "Start a Conversation" feature is provided.
Starting a Conversation has two benefits:
1) It does not clutter up the thread with chat not necessarily related to the intention of the thread.
2) It provides an easy to follow back and forth format, where the last thing returned is immediately above your entry field.
Start a Conversation is the same as PM or Private Message.
I am open to anyone who wants to start a conversation with me.

 

[color_me_gone]

You probably have done all that and then some already, yes?

Yep!

Have you always felt that way at parties?

Yep!

Find a quiet corner to sit by yourself and maybe observe?

Yep! but boring. Worse is when someone tries to talk to me, then it is painful for both of us!

I was the more social one

I think women do much better at socializing in mixed company.
Most guys do well when it's only guys, but not me.

he goes out for a good part of the day nearly every day

Drinking with the guys? sounds about right.
Not me, I gave up drinking 1990, when I had my nervous breakdown. Joined AA. Best thing I ever did.
Actually, alcohol sucks. First it is a stimulant, then it is a depressant.
And the depressant feeling is much worse than the initial high.
And if you are already depressed??? Much, much worse!

Phyllis, you should go back to your crafts.
I would love to see some pictures of things you have done!
You have a talent, and you should be PROUD of that!
Please feel free to start a conversation with me if you like.
PS: Snowball was not Siamese, she was a pure white DLH with pretty light blue eyes, but not deaf.
I ask the Vet why she was not deaf. He looked closely into her eyes, and found some flecks of yellow.
He said that's probably what saved her from deafness.
<<<hugs>>>

 

[aeroplanes]

Hello I'm a young person, in the us.
I like collecting, music, and am learning to play guitar. I have been suicidal for most of my life now. I don't have lots of friends or family and something I love the most is my husky (: if you're in nc, message me. I would like to get to know other local SS members.

 

[SoulSearcher]

I chose a really cringey username ... I'm starting to regret that already ! I have this hatred for myself I can't shake. I just want to be freed of this constricting environment, of everyone and everything around me. I once read about these kinds of online communities and didn't think it could possibly be real. But here I am. To be honest I was sort of hoping I could find a way to save myself but I'm starting to suspect I won't last much longer. DM me if you think my lack of positivity is endearing.