Introduce yourself

[orphy]

Hello all,

I'm a 23 year old male. I am not faring well, and as a long-time lurker, this community helps with feeling not-so-alone with suicidal ideation.

I have a little cocktail mix of mental illnesses, the most agonizing of them all being BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm on the spectrum and I also have ADHD. C-PTSD is likely but no formal diagnosis yet, so who can say.

That said, the emotional pain is what I find most debilitating to live with day to day. I'm fortunate to be medicated (not for ADHD, though) and to have had access to therapy, albeit not until early adulthood, though I know that's still sooner than many people get. Even so, I struggle to find fulfillment or satisfaction in life. At best, nothing brings me positive stimulation; at worst, the emotional pain becomes almost unbearable. Time will tell how much longer I'll last

I am damn stubborn, though, and despite the pain, I do want to see how far I can go with the life I've been given. I didn't ask for it, but it's mine, and ultimately, I get to decide when I end it.

Wishing you all the best day you can manage, and a warm welcome to any newcomers finding their way here

 

[Redhand5]

Hello, my fellow humans

I am a 43 year old male in USA. I've lived a life full of hurt and pain, misery and strife, love and gentleness, boldness and weakness. I've felt alone for most of my life. I've felt wounded by those that loved me. I've felt disregarded by those close to me. I've smiled through most it because I didn't know that it was ok to feel bad about people. Honesty was often punished, love was often ignored, and I was the last one to be considered. My heart tells me that my life hasn't been as bad as many others, my mind tells me that I should be grateful. My heart also tells me that no one would care about my pains and hurts. I live in contradiction, torn between anguish and peace. I am human.
I survived being molested by female family members, physically abused by male family members. Survived heavy combat. Survived the loss of loved ones. Survived the loss of true love. Survived being alone and in need. I think no one would expect my past to allow me to come out as a whole person, and live a long and happy life. I am going through a divorce now, and our family land will probably need to be sold off to cover expenses. This land is a part of our family heritage and it can't be lost due to this divorce. That's why it's my endeavor to Catch The Bus outta here. I've drafted a will for the land to be given to the next heir. And if I can muster the strength to buy my ticket, the land will be saved. I find it ironic that of all life's thrown at me, it is I that will lay me low. I have survived consuming Poison Hemlock twice now, as if even Socrates rejects my life and death. But I have hope that I will find my way to the dark room next door.

Cheers to being human, going through human life, making human choices.

 

[benny]

I'm in my mid 30s from Europe. Found this site after quite a lot of web searching, was unaware there was a forum like this but it seems to be cool from a quick look around.

Nice to meet you all and I look forward to participating on this site

 

[Redhand5]

I'm in my mid 30s from Europe. Found this site after quite a lot of web searching, was unaware there was a forum like this but it seems to be cool from a quick look around.

Nice to meet you all and I look forward to participating on this site

Welcome. I hope you find what you're looking for here.

 

[LRkin]

Hi, people

I am 29 y.o. male. I've been reading threads for quite some time, but only recently decided to actually join. I am somewhat of a shut-in, communicating with people only when I actually have to. For the last couple of years my wish to CTB only grew stronger and stronger, so it got really hard to keep it all inside. And it feels like it's the only place where I can find people who experience same ideations and are not afraid to talk about them.

Even though we all ended up, well, here, I wish everyoune a good day (as good as it's possible, of course).

 

[Kenny]

Ello guys,

I figure I want to be a bit more active here so I may as well introduce myself.

I'm an 18 yo male. I joined this forum fairly recently, and hope to connect with everyone here. Just like most people here (if not everyone), I have issues. Depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc... I am also being emotionally abused by my parents, well, mostly my dad. I am interested in gaming, random music, business stuffs, and other random things.

I hope to make friends on this site and participate in discussion, etc..

 

[tiramisu]

hello everyone, my name is tiramisu, but feel free to call me tira or misu, or any nickname you like.

 

[between-the-bars]

Hello all, I'm a mid-20s male. I like comic books and music. Just going day to day trying to keep moving forward. Glad to be here.

 

[BurntToCinders]

Hello! I'm Solaris, or Cinders. Just stumbled upon this community and was blown away at how helpful it seems to be! I never knew about SN before, and just ordered some! (Fingers crossed that it comes in alright). I figured in the next few months/however long I end up kicking around, I'd shoot the shit with you guys!

I'm 22 and live on the East Coast of the good old U.S of A. I love music, like, a hilarious amount. Willing to listen to and discuss just about everything! The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails is probably my favorite album (if you count Still as part of it, it's even better). I play a few video games, but not as much these days. Mostly co-op or pve stuff.

I'm open to discussion or tips on the SN method, if you wanna like, PM me or comment on the eventual thread I'll probably be making at some point.

Don't be a stranger!

 

[Minfilia]

hi all <3
i'm minfilia but you can just call me min. have been lurking for a while and decided to make my presence known!

i'm a 24 y/o nonbinary from northern europe. i like video games, 70's (phil ochs and the monkees are my favorites) and industrial/noise music. i also like the concept of archiving and preserving media while we still can. skyrim is one of my favorite games solely because i get to experience wandering around in the woods and look at all the things i never get to see behind the screen myself. there is a sense of peace that i cannot describe in it. even if it's not exactly what bethesda intended for me to do. nature is such a beautiful and fragile thing.

i'm an ex-hikikomori bending back to old habits yet again. i don't have any friends and therefore i really don't have any reasons to leave my apartment. i've given up trying to make any friends because i realized it always ends up in failure. may be my social awkwardness or i'm just not interesting enough to them.
i've been stuck with ptsd as long as i can remember. same with depression. my developmental disabilities have in fact worsened my depression because i don't get treated very well due to them ever since elementary school. i promised myself that i'd CTB by the time i'm 16, but that didn't really happen - and therefore i've been lost and stuck trying to navigate adulthood. scared, even. maybe the opportunity will arrive to me again someday, and this time i will take it.

take care, love you.

 

[atelier]

Hello! I am 21F in Canada.
I have social anxiety and have a few friends but they are not close friends :( I graduated college but I cant find a job that wants to hire me.
I want to talk to lots of people here because I like talking to people, but I cant do it irl.
I like jpop/idols, sewing stuffed animals, and building websites. My biggest interest is yuri and I am a lesbian.

It is nice to meet everyone :)