Introduce yourself

[AngelTear]

Hello all, I'm new here! An introduction is a bit hard for me since I don't normally know what to say but I do them regardless.

So where to start? I'm American from the south and I've lived in the south my entire life yet due to being trapped and isolated my whole life I have never seen much. Still regardless of that I have a desire to see more and explore my own state and other regions of the USA along with visiting other countries too! I also did not finish high school, I dropped out but I do seek to get my GED if I can focus long enough while I'm alive.

I am queer and I have been my entire life even back when I didn't know what LGBTQ+ was. Despite being raised as a Jehovah's Witness I did not get the memo that people hated the LGBTQ+ so my family's disapproval of LGBTQ+ along with other people's individuals greatly confused me and still does. As I've gotten older I've questioned my sexuality and gender much more despite sadly not having the means or the environment to really express myself. I'm non-binary and aroace.

That aside, I have many interests. I think I get interested in so many things due to the fact there's a lot of interesting things in the world to lose myself in. I like:

• Linguistics/language learning. I want to learn a new language and I have made pretty decent progress with Mandarin and Japanese in the past but never became fluent along with my environmental and mental health struggles making being studious difficult. I admittedly procrastinate a lot and lose motivation a lot. However I'm still interested and the Languages I'm interested in right now are Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin, Russian, German, and Finnish.
• Art or anything creative. Art has been my main hobby for as long as I can remember. I love it and it's good for therapeutic purposes and earning a little cash here and there. I desire to have the experience to use as many different mediums as I can to make art. So far I have used, pens, pencils, markers, water colors, acrylics, digital programs, photography, video editing, and clay to make stuff with. Recently I've been fixated on making more whimsical pictures that look as if they could be from a children's storybook since that's what I find most soothing as of late.
• Video games. Been a gamer since I had a computer to play games on. As a kid all I had was flash games since the family computers sucked tbh and let's play (yes I did watch Pewdiepie as a kid). I also had a PS2 and a PSP which belonged to my fuckass brother. Both consoles I loved dearly. As time went one I acquired a Wii, a Nintendo DS lite, a Nintendo 3DS, and my own PC. Now I'm a bonafide PC gamer thru and thru...yet somehow I'm still not super tech savvy lol.
• Animals. I've only had one pet ever in my life which was adopted by my fuckass brother. She was a cat and that's how my fixation on cats began. I like learning about animals and my newest fixation are seals, I could tell you a lot about seals. I do not desire to have a pet right now (I kinda want to be the pet lolll) since I'm in NO position to take care of any living organism, not even myself.
• Collecting. Back when things were more financially stable I indulged myself in collecting things I like: dolls and stuffed animals. Thanks to having an antiques store near where I live it made getting these things easy. I certainly have a developed taste for the kinds of dolls and plushies I like and would love to have in my life. the sad thing is most brands are Asian companies and being American it makes getting these things difficult...and the fact I have 0 income as of now. Still I could go on and on about the brands I love so much!
• Fashion. I like fashion despite looking bland and wearing the exact clothing I've had since high school. My eye tends to go for alternative fashion especially J-fashion. From the genres I know the names of I really like lolita and decora (there's more but I can't remember the name of them off the top of my head at the moment.) I also really enjoy fashion history and period fashion too! I love learning about how clothes were constructed in the past, when certain trends came to be, and so on. It's made me was to learn to sew clothes. I think my favorite time period of fashion is quite recent, I admired 1970s fashion (the weird, quirky, kitschy look) the most.

Ummm and I think that's all! Feel free to befriend me or talk to me! I'm in a talkative period right now. Ahh I forgot, I really like horror too! :3

 

[byrondylan]

Hello. I'm a not very tech savvy newcomer. I am 60+ and in a very different position to most posters here I think. I don't want to die, I'm terrified of it. I'm lucky to have a family who I love. But this week I received a terminal cancer diagnosis and I'm so, so scared of the slow and painful end that I think it will give me. I want to be able to control how I go out. But I must admit that I am finding the forum and acronyms all rather overwhelming. I had never heard of Tor until now, I don't know if I will be able to crack the dark web

 

[burdentoeveryone]

hey everyone! i don't think i have the energy to write anything super long, but i thought it would be rude not to introduce myself >< i'm a 20yo from central europe. i struggle with bpd, c-ptsd, anxiety disorder and adhd which all combined makes it literally impossible for me to function like a normal human being and i don't really see a future for myself. i'm chronically suicidal at this point, i've attempted twice before and i want to make sure i never fail again... i wish i could end it all now, but i don't want to cause my mom any more pain and idk, i'm not 100% sure about my decision yet so i'm postponing it for now, and idk, maybe some fucking miracle will happen that will give me a reason to live someday. i don't really believe i'll be alive at 25 though.
i can't open up about my problems to my irl friends, people always leave when they realise how fucked up i really am, so i hope to feel understood here at least :,,,)))
about my interests.....i spend a lot of time in nature, i'm a (not so great) plant mom and i'm a nerd about fungi. i really like travelling, but i don't have anyone to travel with and i don't have the money either. i try to distract myself with different hobbies all the time, but honestly i can't stick to anything, not much brings me any joy these days. i only really enjoy spending time with others, but i don't have that many friends and yeah... anyway! nice to meet yall!! :,,)) feel free to dm me anytime btw<3 i'm quite friendly i think, haha

 

[CapMoon]

Hi everyone.

40F, from the US. It's been rough these past few years. Really finding it hard to enjoy what I used to and difficult to find joy in general, but I do need to support others so I stay on. It doesn't make it necessarily easier.

The ideations started when I was 12, went away after I finished undergrad, then came back a few years ago.

I appreciate this forum as it gives me a sense of direction on how to ctb. It may be tomorrow or 10 years from now... I feel a bit more relieved that I'm not alone in this journey. Hoping to contribute what I can to this community. May everyone here get to experience peace.

 

[Euphoricfilth666]

Helloo... im a 18yo girl from Finland. As you can see i joined yesterday, very new here. Very surprisingly just found out abt this site.

I've been struggling for mostly all of my teen years, from around 5th grade. I planned to cbt around 7th grade, but that failed. I also attempted in 9th grade. Recently ive been struggling with an selfharm addiction? Not sure if thats the proper term but ive been doing it almost everyday. Sometimes out of pure boredom. I have stopped for a while since i fainted in the bathroom while doing it, and had to go get stitches. I think that kind of scared me away from it. I live with my parents still, since ive recently turned 18 (well, not super recently. im almost 19 lol.)

Currently, i think im doing kind of decent. Im in vocational school, and i think im pretty good in my line of work. Ive reconnected with some friends and they have boosted my overall mood.

I have really bad anxiety so please be patient with me :,) I suffer from depression and im also neurodivergent.

Some of my interests are:

• VNs
• BL manga and anime (or just anime in general.. mostly shoujo and josei though.)
• Videogames
• Cosplay
• Anime figurine collecting

Pretty standard nerd interests, right? I think we could get along, even if we have just one thing in common. :)

 

[orca1717]

Hey I'm late 20s from the UK and been lurking here for a good few years and finally joined.

Im a big metal head, enjoy games like counter strike, baldurs gate and Expedition 33, I enjoy to spend my time in nature.

Wont be around all that much longer but wanted to share a little about myself.

 

[yesi]

Hey I'm late 20s from the UK and been lurking here for a good few years and finally joined.

Im a big metal head, enjoy games like counter strike, baldurs gate and Expedition 33, I enjoy to spend my time in nature.

Wont be around all that much longer but wanted to share a little about myself.

Hey , very similar here, if you want to chat then I'm around. I can't message you because your account is too new but if you have discord or maybe telegram let me know.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

hihi!!

i'm an 18 y/o female from the US (Texas) who never wanted to reach the 18 milestone in the first place!! had been lurking around here for quite some time (maybee a year or so) and finally decided to join after completely f'ing my life over these past couple months (although i've been struggling w depression, ideation, and sh since my early adolescence) so there's that ^_^

that being said there's hardly any substance to me aside from art, aviation, meteorology, 'n music. i'm fairly an amateur on all of those topics i've brought up, however (except for music maybe). idk, can't be bothered to share a whole lot about myself when i'm going to ctb in january (via fsh). either way i hope i can make myself home here for the time being!!

 

[mjolnir]

I'm a man from Brazil, I've been following the forum for a while before creating an account.
I really enjoy listening to metal, indie rock, and MPB (Brazilian Popular Music). I'm a nutritionist, or almost that actually, after a burnout I didn't get my diploma even though I completed all the steps. I don't know how much longer I'll be here, but I'm open to hearing other stories here.

 

[ibewguy]

I'm a 30 Y/O Florida Man. My marriage has took quite the turn. I'm a people pleaser through and through and that has led me to where I am. My biggest passion is music. I love all music, but metal and electronic are my favorites. I'm an electrician by trade and am very passionate about my hobbies. I sacrificed my mental health for my marriage and she cheated on me. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. Still passionate about my hobbies though and that keeps me going enough.

 

[4colliez]

Hello! Im a girl in my early 20s from Europe, currently a student.
I like music, drawing, anime, video games, dogs, reading and learning about new things. I also travel a lot and am trying to learn a new language. I work with training working breed dogs and it's one of my only true passions in life. I think I like them so much because I recognise myself in their behaviours.

I am a very anxious person and general anxiety has taken control over most of my life. I've struggled with mental health basically as long as I can remember and I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I don't know what I'm exactly looking for here, but currently experiencing a very intense down which is why I decided to stop lurking and to join.

 

[restingpiece]

hello everyone

i've been lurking this forum for a very long time now but due to some events that happened a few weeks ago i finally decided to make an account on here because i needed an appropriate outlet for my thoughts. i've kind of been procrastinating making an introduction post on here because i never really know what to say about myself but i'm gonna try my best.

i'm a 21 (soon to be 22) year old girl from northern europe. i currently live at home with my mom and i'm unemployed because i don't think i'm mentally capable of working with anything because of my autism and adhd, even though i really wish i could.

i like a lot of different things but they can all easily be narrowed down into art, music, games and horror related things. i mostly spend my days sitting in my room either drawing or playing games, as well as spend a lot of time with my long distance boyfriend online who i love very much and he is pretty much the only reason as to why my life feels stable at the moment, although there have been a few close calls which made me spiral back into being extremely depressed which is exactly why i ended up making an account.

i also really love animals, specifically cats and horses and i hope that i can maybe start horse riding again sometime soon. i find that being around horses really puts me at ease cause i think that they're very therapeutic animals to be around and i've always loved them since i was very young. i also have two pets, one cat and one dog. two of my other dogs unfortunately passed away earlier this year and i miss them both a lot.

i've struggled mentally on and off for as long as i can remember, i think it started when i was around 13 or 14. i've never been officially diagnosed with anything but i definitely feel as in recent years i've become more and more depressed, mostly due to the fact that i don't feel a sense of belonging in this world and i genuinely can't see a real future for myself because of everything i struggle with. i'm very scared of the concept of catching the bus, but at the same time the thought of it brings me a lot of peace cause i find living to be too overbearing sometimes.

but yeah, i think that's about it! i'm pretty scared of meeting new people but i hope i can still get along with you all :)

 

[Tombadil]

Hello, i´m 48, had a hard life, like pretty everyone else here on i guess. I suffer from severe trauma for a lifetime. I am tired now.
What i can say, i fought like fucking hell. I trained myself to make my way into society with the help of some good people. I will leave a lot of artworks on the topic of abuse and the results of such, may they just burn it all one day. I have now reached the end of the line, because i will not get another job due to the devastation all the violence i experienced has done to my cv. And i cant do it anymore. Being in the machine with this condition for so long has drained me.
But i am actually not so desperate. I have money for about a year without the world ever bothering me and i am somewhere where i can sit with others at a a cafe and watch over the sea as the sun goes down. My only sorrow is that i cant get sn or my attempt will fail. For the first time in my life, on the last part of the track, i have actually found some kind of peace, even if it is a deeply tired one.

 

[Dust_And_Moonlight]

Hey, all. I'm in my late 20s.

I've been lurking here off-and-on for the past year now, and figured it was time to finally join. Even if I don't post much, it'll be nice to have that option when I either want to vent, or simply have somewhere to talk to others.

Non-binary, but so far from where I want to be with that, that I still present as fully male to anyone around me. It's a big part of why I'm here; that constant miss-match between who I want to be, and what life (and society) has actually given me. I can't just do my hair differently (my hair's barely better than Tony Soprano's...) and put on some make-up to feel how they want to; if I wanted to feel comfortable in my own body, it would require and tens of thousands spent, and I have neither. My entire life so far has been spent knowing that there was something wrong, and never having the means or inclination to do anything about it. I'm the 'cautionary' part of the cautionary tale 'I Saw the TV Glow' was going on about.

Whilst I've never been diagnosed with anything, I've consistently displayed symptoms of depression, OCD, anxiety and autism. Though the second one in that list makes me constantly doubt myself on anything, so who knows what I have lol.

I tend to focus on film and gaming in my spare time, and like to go on longer walks when I have the energy to do so. Though all three are getting harder lately, and it's taking me longer and longer to actually do stuff. I'd also love to write, and create in some way, but I just do not have the energy. Either way, film is where my name and PFP comes from: Don Hertzfeldt's 'Its Such a Beautiful Day.' Amazing film.