Introduce yourself

[Lefttounge]

Im Lefttounge.
I hate my life.
I have been jobless for 3 years, even with a Bachelor's degree in computer Information.
I filled out over 100s of applications to no avail, not even in Amazon. I cant afford to live in an apartment, and am a 31 year old virgin.
It feels like God has abandoned. I'd love to die tbh.
Im also an artist and published scifi dystopian book author.

 

[beige_wasteland]

I'm beigewasteland, or that is what my life feels like anyway. I am like an apple that looks good from the outside but you bite into it and it is mealy and gross so you spit it out and then throw it away. I have been depressed and hiding it my entire life...I cannot ever remember not being depressed. I used to be pretty good at stuffing it down and pretending to be fine but I seem to have lost this ability over the past year. People have never liked me, and I have no friends, just surface acquaintances. I am mediocre and unremarkable in every way. I found this site a couple weeks ago, kind of by accident. It is refreshing to find a place where people can talk about this stuff without having to censor themselves. I am tired of censoring myself. There are still a few things tying me here, one of which is a fear that death will end up being worse than life (if life has taught me one thing, it's that things can ALWAYS get worse), but it is actually very comforting to read about the ways to leave with minimal suffering.

 

[bruised]

hi hi everyone,

i am bruised. 18f. been depressed for as long as i can remember and am passively suicidal. not looking to ctb yet, just to help cope with my chronic loneliness and to talk to and support people like myself.

i love cats, sanrio, anime, lots of video games, radiohead and obscure video essays.
i also love talking to people (but i'm not very good at it and am very shy - bare with me pls) so feel free to message me ♡ i would really like to make some friends here

 

[fallenangel444]

hi you can call me angel. im a female im not comfortable to mention my age but im still in uni. i used to be a neet for 3 years so now im trying my best to change i wont go detail about my mental illness and my suffering so im just gonna mention my favorite medias! i mainly play vn games i love horror or eroge vn games hoping i would find someone who play this kind of game too in here 😙 feel free to message me maybe we can share tips or just casual talks

 

[sorrowfully]

hi, i'm 28f, useless neet and general drain on society. currently waiting to see if anorexia or bpd is gonna kill me first (place your bets now!). in another life my hobbies included video games, writing/roleplaying, and language learning but at this point i mostly just suffer and deteriorate. feel free to message me i'm so desperately alone in my life rn 🫥

 

[Dreadle]

Hi Deadle here,

I'm a female in late 30s.

I have a shopping list of traumas throughout my life, they happen once every 2/3 years. Several chronic conditions to manage like being deaf from birth, bad PMS etc.

Over the years, every time I fall, it's harder to get back up, it's a never-ending vicious cycle of abuse, pain, meds and therapy and I'm very tired. The world is not kind, saturated with people stepping on others, toxic social media, intrusive adverts, humans viewed as corporate money making machines, intelligent/kind people vilified instead of celebrated to name a few.

I support SS because the human race has conquered survival of the fittest which the repercussions are beginning to become much more prominent and will continue to get worse unless we're allowed to control our destiny. People living beyond their expiry date, poorer quality of life, overpopulation and more people living in suffering then ever before.

I've always felt I was born before my time. I'm excited to see the next step of the journey whatever that looks like.

 

[Valky]

Hii, I’m Valkyrae.

Feel free to call me whatever (Valky, Valk, Rae, V)

I am turning 20 this year (female btw) and I have a tldr of my whole reasoning in my ‘about’ section of my profile :)

I love pets, especially dogs and playing video games. Also playing the ukulele and singing.

I don’t wanna ctb but connect with like minded people. I found lots of great people here already. So feel free to send me a pm if you wanna chat about life and whatnot <3

 

[starlover]

Hello. Starlover here. Almost-30s male.

I want to ctb. Have wanted to for years, but now it's especially acute. Health problems and I have no friends outside of FB anymore and now I've lost my last joy in life, my last loved hobby, because of bodily damage. Now there's nothing left. All of my career ambitions have burned up, and now I'm basically a househusband who works a shitty part-time job.

I'm just looking for an understanding community. You can't tell people about this in real life. They call you selfish, lie to you and then force you to lie about how awesome things are, and how you're just not being positive, or they just can't handle the topic at all.

I don't enjoy much these days, but I do play MTG Arena, and video games on occasion. Really enjoy seeing movies of all types, especially dramas and action. I also enjoy being social, which makes my isolation so much more painful. Please feel free to pm, and don't be alarmed if I pm out hahaha.

 

[moonlightstairway]

Hi, I’m a college student who hates life but is too much of a coward to ctb. Therapy doesn’t help at all, meds barely do anything, and I’m just spiraling more every day. I feel like I’m too weak for this world, so I’m better off gone. But I guess I’m so weak that I can’t even bring myself to do that. I’ll probably be hanging around here until I’m not a coward anymore.

 

[terminatepain]

Hello, I will be 20 this year. I am female and live in Germany. I haven't had a drive for years. I spend most of my free time in my apartment sleeping and crying. I don't know what to do, I don't even know how to end it. Please excuse me for being so tearful.

 

[Severance]

Kinda just lurking. For the time being. I live in the US and I’m still attending school. I’m currently debating. I soley wish to speak to people who might feel this way. it’s hard when I cannot be straight forward or vocal. But still, I love all sorts of arts! And some pretty niche stuff, I guess lol.

 

[SleepingLessons]

I'm a UK uni student with depression, anxiety, and likely autism. Despite the fact my life has improved drastically since going to Uni, I would still like to CTB sometime soon. Life is just so tiring, and I don't want another 50 years filled with suffering and uncertainty. There are things still keeping me around though, so I thought I'd join this place to find like-minded people. So hi!

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

hi, almost 22 yo from Europe and I'm currently at uni unless they finally kick me out. I'm autistic late diagnosed and have been depressed most of my life. Before I knew I was depressed I knew I didn't want to exist. Probably more things in me are fucked up. I never knew how to keep in touch with people or how to start relationship with them, anyway most of my "friends" were fake and abandoned me. I had only one friend, but he died almost a year ago. I never felt so lonely. I have a lot of emptiness and pain inside me. Most of the time I don't know what to do. I exist only to exist, enjoy my suffering and be too much of a coward to ctb. I just don't want to be alone.

 

[headinspace]

Hello! I am Space :)

Ive been dealing with a lot of this from a young age. SH started at age 10/11, first attempt to CTB at age 12, though a lot of my mental stuff started younger. Spent a couple (hazy) years fucking with substances and whatnot, though i dont do it much anymore... mostly because of cost and time, but i also value my memory though its very bad. Got the usual set of mental atrocities: depression, anxiety, adhd, slapped in some Bipolar, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia to spice things up. On a shit ton of meds, but i rarely take them anymore as i see no point. i just feel like a zombie on them... id rather take the feeling of an entire void sitting on my chest than feel like that constantly.

Used to play baseball. Used to competitively ride horses. Cant get myself to do either anymore these days because how much i hate myself as a person and how i look. Recently diagnosed with early stages of liver disease and that has fucked me up so much more than i could've imagined, its pretty much halted all forward motion i had in recovery. Kinda why Im here. Giving up again, and this feels like a safe space to occasionally contribute to and lurk in.

I barely work a part time dead end job which only makes me wanna die even more. I dont really do much anymore. I watch youtube/shows and smoke.. thats about it.

Im three months sober off alcohol and a year clean on cutting. I stopped nicotine probably about a month ago and have been about a year and a half clean on some other substances, though every day a relapse of everything is looking better and better.

im friendly, feel free to say hi if I ever unlock dms lmao :)

 

[zetsu8ou_gyaru]

Some call me Zetsu, I don't really care what I'm called though. Wife died a few years ago, gone full Spike Spiegel since, got obsessed with Junko Enoshima, now I'm making my issues everyone else's problem and being a cute little menace. Want my life to suck even more, at least I feel something then.

 

[hhmmmm]

Hi hope everyone is well. I joined a couple of days ago and mostly joined because I wanted to find a safe space to talk about feelings. I like to watch anime, read manga/light novels, gaming.

 

[BookPostponed]

Hello, I'm a BookPostponed.

My name comes from the quote, "A suicide is a book postponed."

I'm 25 from the US.

I've attempted once at 13 and I will not again until I can find a painless and sure bus. My reasons always change but no matter the reason, I always find myself just wanting to stop existing. I'm really tired, I got that eating disorder and adhd shit. I've tried therapy, medication and coping. I'm just done, I spend my free time sleeping and everything else tires me or causes me intense crying fits. I've given myself 2 years to ctb to join ye old 27 club.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

Hey, I'm a chronically depressed, poor, autistic trans guy with addiction problems. If i get myself to do stuff, i make music, watch YouTube or bad horror movies,read Wikipedia for hours on end or waste time on Duolingo, instead of you know, really learning a language (i have a 400+ day streak learning Russian, still can't speak or understand it).
My family hates me, i don't have any real friends, only people that tolerate me or wanna get in my pants. Life sucks, but i guess that's the thing that brought us all here.
The only thing that kept me going so far is reading stuff about people who do way worse than me and drugs, but that's not a good nor sustainable Lifestyle.

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

hello,
i’m a trans man from the bronx running on borrowed time until my entire life completely collapses beyond repair. it’s held together by gluesticks and duct tape. i plan to CTB by hanging myself, but not now. not because there's any hope for me, but simply because i'm too lazy. extremely horrible things have happened to me, and i see no reason to continue living with the trauma i carry. i’ll be lurking and maybe getting a little silly until the energy finds me.

 

[RedHotRage]

Hey, I'm a chronically depressed, poor, autistic trans guy with addiction problems. If i get myself to do stuff, i make music, watch YouTube or bad horror movies,read Wikipedia for hours on end or waste time on Duolingo, instead of you know, really learning a language (i have a 400+ day streak learning Russian, still can't speak or understand it).
My family hates me, i don't have any real friends, only people that tolerate me or wanna get in my pants. Life sucks, but i guess that's the thing that brought us all here.
The only thing that kept me going so far is reading stuff about people who do way worse than me and drugs, but that's not a good nor sustainable Lifestyle.

Hey, I'm learning Russian too!

When I was younger I tried learning Dutch, I had a 500 day streak on Duolingo and it's true that it just doesn't work past a certain point.

You might want to check out the Refold Method. It's given me massive gains to learning languages, and honestly, it fundamentally changed the way I thought about that shit.

 

[lilpeep]

yooo, you can call me J I suppose. Not much to say tbh. Life is shitty, I’d love to reach nirvana someday but I know that I’m not gonna last till I get there. But who knows, maybe ctb is the ✨true✨ path to nirvana, the monks just never tried it LMAO

 

[rêve]

Hello, I’m rêve.

I am here because of a thing you might know as ADHD, with a little hint of trauma. I do not wish to die, as I have concluded it will never be the right choice for me.

However, this does not mean I am not in pain.
(when I’m feeling something anyway)

I come here because I feel like I belong here, and I like to interact with people.

If you need help, feel free to contact me. Either you need to talk to someone, or you just need to vent, I will be here for you.

I will not be trying to push you away from the cliff if you are determined to ctb, and i will still be here if you want to talk.


If you are curious, my name rêve means “dream” in french.

 

[ashesxtoxashes]

Hi, I'm looking for some nice people with some seriously good pointers on a painless way out.
I've been looking into it all my life so if anyone would like to start a conversation, PM me :)

Anyone here from Australia?

 

[sannoji]

hi, i’m sannoji.

i’ve got DID but collectively i’d say i’m a trans man. my alters don’t tend to identify themselves to others so i’d say just talk to me the same you would any other person.

i think i’ve kind of been on a course to death my entire life, ever since i was a kid. not planning to ctb any time soon, but would rather go out on my own terms that way when i’m older. mostly here to meet likeminded people and just soak up the vibes. i like anime

 

[Razor Reaper18]

Hello I'm Enrique.Im 18 I like anime and series and smoking cigarettes.I like cuvela cigarettes especially.Im at my threshold.Just biding time to do it.Ima straight male btw.Fukc gods will I'm going to do it.No regrets unless I meet a girl.Which looking at my chances are extremely low but hope is okay.Also once I have the resources I'll be looking for a juliet.To team up and end it.Its just a secondary objective.After all we all die alone it's the thought that counts

 

[iLikeFrogs]

Hi! I'm Leon, I'm 18 going on 19 genderfluid afab. I'm queer and autistic (and have some more disorders but that doesn't rly matter rn). I like drawing, animals and playing games. I like alternative and indie music. I don't really want to die. Don't get me wrong I experience suicidal thoughts all the time but I'm not sure if it's the right thing for me to do, I just want to feel better. But if I cbt I want to make it beautiful. It's a weird quirk of mine but I want my death to be as romanticised and as aesthetic as possible. I also have a dog :33

 

[Rabbit-]

Hello! I'm Rabbit, I'm a nb person in my early 20's. I like video games, and in theory I'm a writer and an artist, though I struggle to get much done for various reasons... Still, I do create things sometimes so I think it counts!

I've wanted to ctb since I was 12 (Possibly before then? I have a poor memory.) and made maybe a dozen half-assed attempts in my teen years, but unfortunately I never committed myself fully to them, so here I am. I'm still on the fence about if I want to try again now that I have more resources and certainty, but at the very least it'll be nice to have some place to talk honestly about everything without having to downplay or deny my own mental state for the sake of others.

I'll be making a list of my reasons to put in my About section soon as well, hopefully! Even if no one else reads it, I think it'll be cathartic to have out in the open.

On top of other mental health issues I have severe anxiety- I'm borderline agoraphobic and usually only leave the house alone to walk my dog- so please bare with me if I'm shy or disappear for periods of time. I'll make sure that if/when I do ctb, it's clear that it's a permanent absence! Unless my dream of something else doing the job for me comes true, in which case you're on your own lol.

 

[Zaya]

Hey I'm Zaya. I'm a 19 year old male from Germany. There is really not much to say about me. All I am currently doing with my life is working a job I hate and spending the little free time I have sitting in my room and mostly listening to music.

I do have a lot of interests and a lot of hobbies I wanna do but at this point I just lack the energy/motivation for any of them.

 

[bpdrecovery]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

yea hi

im 18, have a huge history with SH, have been through theraphy since around 7 years old. i have BPD and autism, i have hypersexuality and a lots of violent intrusive thoughts that if i followed i'd be in the hospital every day for

fun facts

-ive been to psych ward once
-i have a very good relationship with my FP
-people say im very emotionally mature
-i love psychology and biology
-very into gore
-i have way too many plushies
-i'll try to help anyone i have the chance to
-currently 3 months and 10 days clean from self harm, alcohol and smoking

 

[cherrysquick]

hello, im cherry !
18 from poland, diagnosed depression, anxiety, bpd and osfed, struggle w sh and substance abuse
jirai kei trash, considering my mental state im rly a walking stereotype lol
into gore but more in the medical aspect, i love biology and if i wasnt this miserable and considering cbting in the near future id love to work as an embalmer.
been depressed most of my life, therapy and meds dont seem to help. FP left me half a year ago and i still havent gotten over it.
currently passively suicidal, i have a date picked out but i have to see if life gets better somehow til then. who knows. suicidal ideation, alcohol and self harm r the only things getting me through rough patches rn lol
feel free to pm me if youre from poland too, id love to chat about methods and everyday stuff ^^ also ppl who struggle heavily with self harm, i think it would be nice to have someone i can talk to about our shared struggles~