Introduce myself

[karmaisabitch]

Hi everyone! My real name is Samantha but you can call me Sam. I'm a 37 years old female. Born and raised in Texas. I'm a hair stylist since 19 years old. I have one 16yo son that means a lot to me but my son died by suicide 2 months ago he jumped into a river. I don't know why as of this minute. I didn't see him depressed I didn't see any alarming red flags or what they call depression symptoms. Someone told me his friend assisted him and for that I'm cursing that friend for life. I do believe in Karma and what goes around will come around, however I can't live without my son I being trying but I just can't. I need resources to help me die. I never had mental illness or SI before but grieving is hard I can't continue with this pain. I literally do t sleep I feel like I'm guilty or I did something that's why my son died. Some of the nice members here shared resources I'm kind of looking through them so hopefully I'll find my peace within days. Thank you for having me here.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I have one 16yo son that means a lot to me but my son died by suicide 2 months ago he jumped into a river.

I'm so sorry to hear that - I think, losing your child is one of the worst mental torture on earth, if not the worst of all.
I know no words can solace you, so I hope you find peace somehow.

I need resources to help me die.

Personally I'm not a big fan of suicide but the desire you want to go is very understandable, and we're pro-choice.

I never had mental illness or SI before but grieving is hard I can't continue with this pain.

I agree that you need peace. I'm so sorry.

I wish your son peace - I think someday everything will cease,
and sadly, this is the only grace in this cruel place.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I'm so sorry to hear that - I think, losing your child is one of the worst mental torture on earth, if not the worst of all.
I know no words can solace you, so I hope you find peace somehow.


Personally I'm not a big fan of suicide but the desire you want to go is very understandable, and we're pro-choice.


I agree that you need peace. I'm so sorry.

I wish your son peace - I think someday everything will cease,
and sadly, this is the only grace in this cruel place.

Thank you so much and yes this pain like no other pain!! I never thought or even read about suicide until after my son died.. I feel like I was living a fake life and now I'm being real.

 

[divinemistress36]

I'm so sorry OP that sounds so painful I hope you can find some peace

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Hi everyone! My real name is Samantha but you can call me Sam. I'm a 37 years old female. Born and raised in Texas. I'm a hair stylist since 19 years old. I have one 16yo son that means a lot to me but my son died by suicide 2 months ago he jumped into a river. I don't know why as of this minute. I didn't see him depressed I didn't see any alarming red flags or what they call depression symptoms. Someone told me his friend assisted him and for that I'm cursing that friend for life. I do believe in Karma and what goes around will come around, however I can't live without my son I being trying but I just can't. I need resources to help me die. I never had mental illness or SI before but grieving is hard I can't continue with this pain. I literally do t sleep I feel like I'm guilty or I did something that's why my son died. Some of the nice members here shared resources I'm kind of looking through them so hopefully I'll find my peace within days. Thank you for having me here.

Bless you. That sounds so hard. Sending you love and strength x

 

[karmaisabitch]

I'm so sorry OP that sounds so painful I hope you can find some peace

I hope so! Thank you so much!

Bless you. That sounds so hard. Sending you love and strength x

Thank you! I need the strength to go through with ctb.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

Hi everyone! My real name is Samantha but you can call me Sam. I'm a 37 years old female. Born and raised in Texas. I'm a hair stylist since 19 years old. I have one 16yo son that means a lot to me but my son died by suicide 2 months ago he jumped into a river. I don't know why as of this minute. I didn't see him depressed I didn't see any alarming red flags or what they call depression symptoms. Someone told me his friend assisted him and for that I'm cursing that friend for life. I do believe in Karma and what goes around will come around, however I can't live without my son I being trying but I just can't. I need resources to help me die. I never had mental illness or SI before but grieving is hard I can't continue with this pain. I literally do t sleep I feel like I'm guilty or I did something that's why my son died. Some of the nice members here shared resources I'm kind of looking through them so hopefully I'll find my peace within days. Thank you for having me here.

Dear Sam,

My heart goes out to you. I am no stranger to the suffering one goes through after the only light in this universe is extinguished.

I have a very serious question. A very sensitive one. But I fear that it would be too early for you to ponder on such a soul-searching answer, especially since it's only been a couple of months from your son's passing. May I have your permission to ask such a question?

 

[wheredidigo]

Hi Sam,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I cannot imagine how much pain you must be in. It isn't your fault at all that your son passed, some folk are adept at hiding how low they feeling, or how numb they are. It's understandable how you feel right now. Depression warps our minds. It's even tougher for teenagers to find their way through it. There are probably no words that can comfort you (I don't have any children so I really can't imagine the pain you're in) if you can. take some more time, it hasn't been long. Maybe support from another mom who has lost a child in the same way could maybe help a tiny bit. Apologies if this is something you've already considered/tried. Someone who has been in a similar situation, we have an organisation in the UK for this but sorry I don't know what it could be in the U.S. It's unbearable grief. My heart goes out to you x

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Hi Sam! Sad circumstances to meet. Words don't suffice. There are lots of resources here for you and people with much better advice than I may have. Welcome

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

this is the thread I found most useful when I got here.

 

[Ephemeron]

Welcome to the forum and sorry that you're here.

We all have our own horrible circumstances that have led us to this point and find ourselves without other options. If you feel that CTB is your only option, then I hope you find the peace you seek. Otherwise, strength to you on your path whatever it may be.

 

[WoNkEy_DoNkEy]

Hi everyone! My real name is Samantha but you can call me Sam. I'm a 37 years old female. Born and raised in Texas. I'm a hair stylist since 19 years old. I have one 16yo son that means a lot to me but my son died by suicide 2 months ago he jumped into a river. I don't know why as of this minute. I didn't see him depressed I didn't see any alarming red flags or what they call depression symptoms. Someone told me his friend assisted him and for that I'm cursing that friend for life. I do believe in Karma and what goes around will come around, however I can't live without my son I being trying but I just can't. I need resources to help me die. I never had mental illness or SI before but grieving is hard I can't continue with this pain. I literally do t sleep I feel like I'm guilty or I did something that's why my son died. Some of the nice members here shared resources I'm kind of looking through them so hopefully I'll find my peace within days. Thank you for having me here.

@karmaisabitch Hell have no wrath like a woman scorned. I'm very sorry to hear your story and that you'll be trying to leave this world in anger at the person who assisted your son. I find it that extra bit worse when one person commits suicide because of another, especially mother and son. You'd best believe in heaven then so that you both may be reunited there in peace and tranquility.

 

[karmaisabitch]

@karmaisabitch Hell have no wrath like a woman scorned. I'm very sorry to hear your story and that you'll be trying to leave this world in anger at the person who assisted your son. I find it that extra bit worse when one person commits suicide because of another, especially mother and son. You'd best believe in heaven then so that you both may be reunited there in peace and tranquility.

Thank you so much for acknowledging my pain. I getup every morning hating my life I just don't want to exist without him and yes it's an add on when I'm so angry I'm leaving with this disappointment that someone can actually do that evil to his friend. I pray everyday for justice hoping to see them locked up before I go!
T

Welcome to the forum and sorry that you're here.

We all have our own horrible circumstances that have led us to this point and find ourselves without other options. If you feel that CTB is your only option, then I hope you find the peace you seek. Otherwise, strength to you on your path whatever it may be.

Thank you so much! I think it's better if I just die I'm in pain and it's not fair to live with it. Appreciate your support!!

Hi Sam! Sad circumstances to meet. Words don't suffice. There are lots of resources here for you and people with much better advice than I may have. Welcome

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

this is the thread I found most useful when I got here.

Thank you so much! Great, I will need this it will be very helpful! Hopefully I find what I'm looking for in there

Hi Sam,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I cannot imagine how much pain you must be in. It isn't your fault at all that your son passed, some folk are adept at hiding how low they feeling, or how numb they are. It's understandable how you feel right now. Depression warps our minds. It's even tougher for teenagers to find their way through it. There are probably no words that can comfort you (I don't have any children so I really can't imagine the pain you're in) if you can. take some more time, it hasn't been long. Maybe support from another mom who has lost a child in the same way could maybe help a tiny bit. Apologies if this is something you've already considered/tried. Someone who has been in a similar situation, we have an organisation in the UK for this but sorry I don't know what it could be in the U.S. It's unbearable grief. My heart goes out to you x

Thank you so much my friend! I tried attending support group but it was different grief different circumstance I did meet some mothers but in my case it didn't help me it's like putting salt on a cut you have in my heart. I think moving forward is going to be hard I was so attached to my son and now I'm just empty no purpose so pray for me I go very soon

Dear Sam,

My heart goes out to you. I am no stranger to the suffering one goes through after the only light in this universe is extinguished.

I have a very serious question. A very sensitive one. But I fear that it would be too early for you to ponder on such a soul-searching answer, especially since it's only been a couple of months from your son's passing. May I have your permission to ask such a question?

Please do! And thank you so much appreciate your support.. I'm ready for your question..