Venting Institutionalization and abuse

[themonkeymaan]

It just doesn't get better , I live in India so every time I search for this website I get a suicide hotline as my first result , decided to call it today 10 missed calls no one picked up , the first time I tried to CTB I waited 5 days and called 50 helplines out of which 5 picked up 3 told me they couldn't talk to me because I was young one threatened me and one put me on hold,I'm sick of life I have BPD and I miss my fp so much life is living hell ever waking moment is just filled with regret of what I could've done better one of my fp's died of an heart attack this April and they didn't talk to me for a entire year because of a fight it was obvious I was in the wrong but I just can't deal with the fact that she didn't want to talk to me before she died she hated me every waking moment is misery the SN can't arrive sooner man I just need this to stop the mental healthcare system never gave me shit they abused me beat me up and kept me in a white room for fucking days I was sober in a room full of alcoholics and Schizophrenics going through withdrawal yes you heard me right it was literally a fucking party hall that could fit 150 people housed with 60 patients in india heat and I live in a costal city so the humidity and heat was killing us all the while the doctors tried to convert me to Christianity because wtf? I don't even have enough money to sue the fucking institution
I'm scared of CTB because of institutionalization it's worse than death to be put in a ward in india

 

[Soph]

Idk the law in India but theres always a free article in the law that in cases like the citizen can't afford u can sue and don't lose money. I'll check for u later dw.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered so much, it really is cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering but anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.