If you have kids please take care of them. Don't bring someone into this world unless your going to care for them. Don't abuse them or neglect them. Atleast have the decency to put them up for adoption.
My mom was a drug user and gave me to her mom so she can run off and do her own thing. My dad was in and out of jail my whole life. Sure she tried I guess. After my grandma died I was passed around like a hot potatoe, my parents not even wanting to get into contact with me. My mom knew where I was but never wanted to even call me. I spent my teen years in and out of homeless shelters. Only after I became an adult did she get back into contact with me. She did let me stay with her but never for long. Because of all the things I went through as a kid I have various mental health issues. She would always tell me that I'm so and so age and should be living on my own, even though I was homeless for most of my youth. All the issues i have arent real theyre just in my head, theres nothing wrong with me. She cant even come to tearms that shes more than likely the reason im having so many issues. She would tell people that her mom took me from her and wouldn't give me up and that's why I'm "so fucked up". She probably won't even care once I'm gone.
Just struggling in my adult life, feeling like a piece of poop. Dealing with all the shit from my youth I can't seem to let go of. It seems like as I get older the feelings don't really go away.
I still visit her once in a while because shes my mom I have noone else and she's the only family I have. I try to talk to her about my issues and she doesn't seem to care. We only watch the TV shows she wants to watch. She lives in a trailer with her husband thats parked next to the workshop he works at so not like I could stay with her even if I needed to. She loves telling people how her mom took me away and messed up my head. That I was a spoiled kid. It's so frustrating. She'll go to the grave and never admit what actually happened. I can't wait to ctb.
Yesterday she was saying how one of her friends asked where I was and why I don't live with her and she replied because it's not normal for your adult children to live with their parents. She knows I've been extremely depressed and have been telling her if i could be closer to her or if i could move in with her to be closer to the only family i have i would feel better. Most of her much older friends still live with their parents. It's just so cruel for people to act like this, I don't get it... she doesn't even try to hug me.
Here I am sitting in the trailer by myself, I've told my mom I'm feeling bad and having some suicidal thoughts, I can tell she's probably trying to avoid me. I wish she would come out and talk to me or ask me how im doing or something. Whenever I come over she just tells me how well she's doing and how happy she is and I feel like I have noone to vent to.
I really don't want to be around anymore. So numb I can't even cry. I really don't want to die but I also don't want to live like this anymore.
My mom was a drug user and gave me to her mom so she can run off and do her own thing. My dad was in and out of jail my whole life. Sure she tried I guess. After my grandma died I was passed around like a hot potatoe, my parents not even wanting to get into contact with me. My mom knew where I was but never wanted to even call me. I spent my teen years in and out of homeless shelters. Only after I became an adult did she get back into contact with me. She did let me stay with her but never for long. Because of all the things I went through as a kid I have various mental health issues. She would always tell me that I'm so and so age and should be living on my own, even though I was homeless for most of my youth. All the issues i have arent real theyre just in my head, theres nothing wrong with me. She cant even come to tearms that shes more than likely the reason im having so many issues. She would tell people that her mom took me from her and wouldn't give me up and that's why I'm "so fucked up". She probably won't even care once I'm gone.
Just struggling in my adult life, feeling like a piece of poop. Dealing with all the shit from my youth I can't seem to let go of. It seems like as I get older the feelings don't really go away.
I still visit her once in a while because shes my mom I have noone else and she's the only family I have. I try to talk to her about my issues and she doesn't seem to care. We only watch the TV shows she wants to watch. She lives in a trailer with her husband thats parked next to the workshop he works at so not like I could stay with her even if I needed to. She loves telling people how her mom took me away and messed up my head. That I was a spoiled kid. It's so frustrating. She'll go to the grave and never admit what actually happened. I can't wait to ctb.
Yesterday she was saying how one of her friends asked where I was and why I don't live with her and she replied because it's not normal for your adult children to live with their parents. She knows I've been extremely depressed and have been telling her if i could be closer to her or if i could move in with her to be closer to the only family i have i would feel better. Most of her much older friends still live with their parents. It's just so cruel for people to act like this, I don't get it... she doesn't even try to hug me.
Here I am sitting in the trailer by myself, I've told my mom I'm feeling bad and having some suicidal thoughts, I can tell she's probably trying to avoid me. I wish she would come out and talk to me or ask me how im doing or something. Whenever I come over she just tells me how well she's doing and how happy she is and I feel like I have noone to vent to.
I really don't want to be around anymore. So numb I can't even cry. I really don't want to die but I also don't want to live like this anymore.
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