fantastic_unicorn
Member
- Mar 23, 2024
- 63
Hello all,
Never been suicidal… until 7 months ago. Crazy how one thing can change your life. I was on an airplane when my face felt like it exploded. Severe nerve & head pain. Then severe body burning once on the ground. Ever since then I've been living in some neurological nightmare with symptoms that are truthfully unbearable. Absolutely nothing has shown the fuck up on any test. Something really fucking weird happened to me. I had a great life, career, friends, boyfriend, family. No history of anxiety or depression. No complaints. I was very happy. Now, I am in an untenable body without a moment of peace. I've been to the hospital 8x, multiple doctors, Mayo Clinic, and no answers. Being youngish (29) and a woman has its drawbacks. But even with the support of my family, no one has found what is happening to me.
Have tried multiple drugs but nothing is helping. Sleep - even with the help of Xanax - is almost impossible. I had a rapid onset of 10/10 pain, floaters, excruciating tinnitus with Hyperacusis, muscle twitching, feeling like I'm wading through cement, blurred and jumpy vision, exhaustion, hot and cold; severe right side head pain, a static sensation on my head, eye issues .. honestly the list goes on. I am miserable 24/7. I have trauma from being medically gaslit and the extreme way these symptoms came on. Lost it all. I find Joy in nothing. My body is withering away.. I am skin and bones. People called me 5th gear before and now I can barely leave my bed. I needed to vent. I'm getting worse and I have no reprieve - last night I almost threw up from the burning pain in my back. I'm over it and I need to get out of here before I lose more of my dignity. Mayo thinks it's a virus reactivated but in my soul it feels much worse and permanent. It's a horrible feeling. This is not a way to live. I can barely tolerate each day without spiraling into a complete mess before I become someone I'm totally not. I've got to go but I wish it wasn't so complicated inert gas seems to be the way to do it but so much prep and I am so weak ..
Never been suicidal… until 7 months ago. Crazy how one thing can change your life. I was on an airplane when my face felt like it exploded. Severe nerve & head pain. Then severe body burning once on the ground. Ever since then I've been living in some neurological nightmare with symptoms that are truthfully unbearable. Absolutely nothing has shown the fuck up on any test. Something really fucking weird happened to me. I had a great life, career, friends, boyfriend, family. No history of anxiety or depression. No complaints. I was very happy. Now, I am in an untenable body without a moment of peace. I've been to the hospital 8x, multiple doctors, Mayo Clinic, and no answers. Being youngish (29) and a woman has its drawbacks. But even with the support of my family, no one has found what is happening to me.
Have tried multiple drugs but nothing is helping. Sleep - even with the help of Xanax - is almost impossible. I had a rapid onset of 10/10 pain, floaters, excruciating tinnitus with Hyperacusis, muscle twitching, feeling like I'm wading through cement, blurred and jumpy vision, exhaustion, hot and cold; severe right side head pain, a static sensation on my head, eye issues .. honestly the list goes on. I am miserable 24/7. I have trauma from being medically gaslit and the extreme way these symptoms came on. Lost it all. I find Joy in nothing. My body is withering away.. I am skin and bones. People called me 5th gear before and now I can barely leave my bed. I needed to vent. I'm getting worse and I have no reprieve - last night I almost threw up from the burning pain in my back. I'm over it and I need to get out of here before I lose more of my dignity. Mayo thinks it's a virus reactivated but in my soul it feels much worse and permanent. It's a horrible feeling. This is not a way to live. I can barely tolerate each day without spiraling into a complete mess before I become someone I'm totally not. I've got to go but I wish it wasn't so complicated inert gas seems to be the way to do it but so much prep and I am so weak ..