Venting in this world, there is no place for me

[encore]

i am never someone's top priority; someone's dearest friend; someone's love of their life. replaceable. "good, but not good enough to be closer". "good, but not good enough to invite her over or keep her in our friend group". "good, but we will never reach out when she's clearly not doing well". never seen, never understood, never interesting. never allowed space in other people's minds, never allowed their energy and time. too awkward. too talkative. too silent. too boring, dumb, smart. talks too much about things no one cares about. too weird. too anxious and depressed.

i am tired. i'm so, so tired that there is nobody in this world only for me. i'm tired of never feeling like i can have something for myself, forever. like i have a home to come to, have a routine, a person to fall back on when life gets bad again. it feels like everyone else already got their life sorted, they have a group they belong it, someone they can call their best friend, their lover. i can't. why? what's so deeply wrong with me? i can't keep going like this anymore…

 

[khek0_]

It's not that something is just horribly wrong with you, it's just that people decide to not care. They're only after what they want or think is good for them. In the end, it's just you and yourself. I've felt the having no one part for a while now and it doesn't get better, one thing that did help a bit was lowering my expectations and accepting that no one will come around and care. Probably said a bunch of incoherent bs but that's just how I look at things. Maybe one day you'll feel like you belong and I hope that day does come.

 

[FishRain3469]

I feel like I could have written this myself, and boy Howdy it fckn sucks. I hate it. Sick and tired of being Sick and tired.

Sorry I don't really have anything constructive to say But.... I hope things turn out well for you, that your days may get brighter and Better. Blessings and prayers to you always. ♥

 

[Dejected 55]

All too familiar feelings to my own. I don't even mind not belonging with most of the world, but never finding even just that one someone to not be alone with... that sucks.