I’m worried that CTB might be selfish

[AgathaChristieLover]

Who knows, maybe someone out there really cares for me and will get hurt. This is a big barrier for me. Does anyone have similar thoughts? If so, how do you deal with them?

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

Try to objectively assess your values. If your death makes someone else very sad, are you willing to keep living?

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

Try to objectively assess your values. If your death makes someone else very sad, are you willing to keep living?

I'm not sure if I can keep living. Every day is a struggle

 

[Secro]

You're selfish, isn't everyone? Selfishness isn't a bad thing at all; it's more about the reasons in this society. If someone is suffering and wants to end it, then nobody has the right to interfere.

 

[Lamentice]

To me, suicide is nearly always preventable. If someone cared then they should have stepped up and shared responsibility. People don't do that, they preform; they preform their virtuousness and willingness to support, then they perform their grief, then they rack in the high-interest social credit of sympathy.

Oh you cared? You cared so damn much my death destroyed you?

Then where the fuck were you? What'd you do? When did you step in? What'd you say when it mattered? How'd you sit with me when I was uncomfortable?

Humans are so massively full of goddamn shit up the wahoo and out of it. I hope all the people who "cared" get all the milk they could ever need out of their mourning performance.

Everyone always says they would have been there if the person called, but the actual evidence explicitly shows they weren't. And then everyone reassures them, "It wasn't your fault! You can't blame yourself!". But it probably is.

I wouldn't be like this if not for my parents, if not for the observers who never stepped in, the relatives who crossed their fingers and held their breath, the individuals who enabled & justified it, the systems who failed me, the people who dropped me, the peers who judged me, the communities that ostracized me. It was all preventable.

Suicide doesn't create guilt, it exposes it, they can carry that burden, it's theirs & theirs alone.

 

[LostHighway]

Who knows, maybe someone out there really cares for me and will get hurt. This is a big barrier for me. Does anyone have similar thoughts? If so, how do you deal with them?

This is the reason countless people don't end their lives. It tells me you have compassion. I will hurt my husband if I CTB. I mean - devastate. But my death would not come as a massive surprise. I do hope you will find a reason to stick around. Unless you're in a super dire situation, I bet there's a way out of the situation you're in. I love your handle. I just finished an. audiobook you might like. It was published in 1992. A Secret History by Donna Tartt. It' these little pleasures that keep me going.

 

[name2come]

At the end of the day, you aren't accountable to anyone else. If this is a choice you want to make, it's about what you want. Other people might be hurt or upset, but you aren't obligated to them. They are going to feel how they need to feel. You didn't do that to them. Heck, they didn't do it to themselves, either. It just is what it is.

Now, that all said, you also aren't obligated to CTB. not wanting to do it because it might hurt someone is also valid. That's your choice to make. I don't want you to feel indebted to anyone but yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to live as an island. Even if you are struggling, your connections can be something to hold onto. That's your choice to make. Whatever you decide won't be selfish or "bad". It just is. Good luck.

 

[groovygoober]

It is selfish , but so is living . Choose what's best for yourself but if your love for someone or something is greater than your desire to ctb then you should try to live .
The chocolate we eat the phones we use the clothes we wear a lot of things in our life are at the cost of someone else's misery. At the end of the day you play with the card you have been dealt with your life is yours to live and yours to end .

 

[bagel12]

Who knows, maybe someone out there really cares for me and will get hurt. This is a big barrier for me. Does anyone have similar thoughts? If so, how do you deal with them?

personally this is part of why i havent ctb, i know it would hurt people in my life. i would be worrying about others in my last moments instead of feeling peace.