I'm wondering, do you all work?

[DrownedOctopus]

Why do you think people like us don't meet each other "out there"? You know, like gaydar, how gay people often seem able to detect each other? I spent most of my 20's fantasizing about meeting other suicidal people out in the real world and being able to commiserate silently...

I've met quite a few like minded people. My first boyfriend was, several friends, and my husband is. Many of them went through with it.
Sometimes it's just a matter of how comfortable people get with you during those late night conversations.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Sometimes it's just a matter of how comfortable people get with you during those late night conversations.

Ah. Well that explains it. People find me as comfortable as a super-coarse sandpaper blanket on badly sun-burned skin.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

Ah. Well that explains it. People find me as comfortable as a super-coarse sandpaper blanket on badly sun-burned skin.

Creative. I like the simile. I understand wanting someone in your life to understand it and talk with about it. Sometimes it's nice to just vent to someone who won't get upset or do something like call the authorities.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I'm a civil engineer so I guess I don't work.

Nobody else does either really. Robots, calculators and computers do most of everything. We already live in communism. Everything is meaningless. That's a big reason behind me wanting to die. Knowing that even if you are better, you will be taken down to size.

Whether you win or lose, you still lose. So why play?

 

[Suicide_friend]

I accepted a job offer to work on my area, IT. I will try again, my last job was terrible and I had to quit. But to live with my mother in a dark apartment is terrible. So I hope this job would be better then stay at home without money.

 

[Ipassbutter]

I was a high school teacher at a private school. Now I work as an instructional designer in an office.
When I come home, I start my second job raising my daughters and trying to be a good husband.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I work full time. Whe I work I don't feel depressive at all, in fact I'm excite and don't even think at my problems or my will to die. I hate holidays, during these times I feel deeply depressed and seek for suicide means.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I was a high school teacher at a private school. Now I work as an instructional designer in an office.
When I come home, I start my second job raising my daughters and trying to be a good husband.

Three cheers for dad! Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray! I had a buddy on the West Coast who said that his kids fawned over their mother on mother's day but for father's day HE was expected to mow the lawn. Not a peep of appreciation. I don't get that you have to deal with that, but in our culture, at least I think, dad's are grossly under-appreciated. So a cheer to you, man.

 

[meaningisgone]

I sleep.

 

[Surferonce]

I work full time but due to my current condition I skip work 2-3x a week. This has been going on for months since last year. I really wonder why I'm not yet terminated.

 

[Ipassbutter]

Three cheers for dad! Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray! I had a buddy on the West Coast who said that his kids fawned over their mother on mother's day but for father's day HE was expected to mow the lawn. Not a peep of appreciation. I don't get that you have to deal with that, but in our culture, at least I think, dad's are grossly under-appreciated. So a cheer to you, man.

Thanks. :-) I think I'm generally appreciated though so I'm lucky in that respect.

 

[Livinginhell]

Yes I work full time on nights. I work nights to hide away from the rest of the world less chance of me upsetting and hurting people.

 

[I will go soon]

I work full time. After bills and student loans I'm not left with much but it's enough to secure a method such as N. I don't know why I wait

 

[dysfunctional]

Not right now, I'm a piece of shit and I don't feel good about it. I volunteer 4 days a week and cook dinner most nights for my family. Better than the six months before that i laid in bed and got drunk the whole time.

 

[bigj75]

Yes i work

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

Not at the moment. I abandoned my job, no call no show method and currently unemployed. I'm job searching now and plan to apply to a grocery store which is the job I worked before the one I abandoned. It was a dead end job at Lowe's where you were treated like a dog.

Luckily I have two managers that I'm good friends with I can reference instead of Lowe's. Not like I can use Lowe's anyway. Heck they probably think I'm dead because I never called back.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I have access to the rooftop at my workplace. The building is definitely high enough for a jump to be fatal.

I think about it whenever I'm up there but I wouldn't have the courage. Plus I have N.

Oh man I wouldn't have the courage either. That fall could be the most harrowing experience of your life. And out in public. Man loads of trauma for people around. I'm glad you got N. I wish I knew how to get it (and could afford it. My pay gets spread out over many responsibilities and it ain't even much).

 

[seekingoblivion]

I used to think I'd find fast friends among other suicidal people. Hasn't happened. On the contrary... But it's comments/thinking like what you shared that keep me "happy" to be among other suicidals nonetheless. :)

Well that's why I'm glad I found this site. You may not find actual friends but there are people here who know exactly what goes on through your head and it means quite a lot to know you're not alone. I have a best friend who understands depression and what i feel (she's been through a lot in life and she's been battling her own demons) but I can't talk to her about suicide cause I know it hurts her when I do. So I'm glad I found this outlet. With all that said I'll be your suicidal friend, mate. I'd be quite happy to. You gotta send me a pizza though to signify that our suicidal friendship agreement has taken effect.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I work full time. After bills and student loans I'm not left with much but it's enough to secure a method such as N. I don't know why I wait

That should be a slogan for the student loan business: "Federally subsidized student loans. Borrow now, pay later. The odds of landing a middle-income job after graduation are getting worse and worse and you can't erase your debt in bankruptcy court, but you just might have enough left over after paying your other bills and your educational loan back for your favorite suicide method."

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Not at the moment. I abandoned my job...

Please excuse my black sense of humor... But wouldn't it be kinda funny if someone's response to the question, "So, what are you going to do now that you've been out of work for a while?" were, "I was looking and applying everywhere every day for about three or four months. Nothing. Next I'm going for a life of crime"?

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

You gotta send me a pizza though to signify that our suicidal friendship agreement has taken effect.

Always glad to share grub. :) (Thank you.)

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

Please excuse my black sense of humor... But wouldn't it be kinda funny if someone's response to the question, "So, what are you going to do now that you've been out of work for a while?" were, "I was looking and applying everywhere every day for about three or four months. Nothing. Next I'm going for a life of crime"?

Life of crime? Sounds like an effective suicide method for me.

Jk

 

[seekingoblivion]

Always glad to share grub. :) (Thank you.)

Ain't much that's more satisfying. I like extra cheese btw :)

 

[snowman626]

Ive been working as a security guard for over 10 years. I think Im going to quit pretty soon, I have ways to make money online if I need to. Also I can drive for DoorDash or UberEats and make income that way. I hate having a job and having to show up at specific times and not being able to sleep past a certain hour.

 

[Rachel]

Barley, I cant hold a job. No one thinks my problems are bad enough for disability. I honestly cant keep up much longer. But hey thats where death comes in!

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

Barley, I cant hold a job. No one thinks my problems are bad enough for disability. I honestly cant keep up much longer. But hey thats where death comes in!

Death is the greatest job ever. Your application won't get rejected. You will never get fired.

 

[Kyrok]

Researcher / Writer. Same employer for 20+ years. Just a few more till retirement - if I can make it.

Depression, though, began in childhood and ebbes and flows since. This is maybe my 5th deeply suicidal bout since my early teens.

 

[RRH]

Does your company treat you well?

Yes, my company has treated me exceptionally well. My managers have been understanding when I've had to take time off for mental health issues.

That's why I would feel guilty about resigning abruptly.

 

[RRH]

Why do you think people like us don't meet each other "out there"? You know, like gaydar, how gay people often seem able to detect each other? I spent most of my 20's fantasizing about meeting other suicidal people out in the real world and being able to commiserate silently...

I too wish it were easier to meet likeminded people in real life. It would be nice being able to relate to them.

 

[Nichols]

Senior executive.