Im unlovable loneliness is killing me

[leap_from_life]

Just had hook up with someone I'm in love with for almost one year now and I just can't forget about him, he came over and we had few drinks then I told him 'you know I always liked you' but he said yeah but I just want to have fun I don't want to get into anything serious blah blah, we slept with each other and then in the morning he left saying ill find someone good one day it just left me in tears because it happens every time
My every relationship ended that way, once I've been told 'are you surprised I'm not in love with you? How could anyone love you?' men are just playing with my feelings, every time I get played again I just feel more emptier and emptier, I'm already 20 and I think I will never be loved by anyone, I'm really lonely and it makes me sick to my stomach but I exactly know that I'm too dumb and retarded to be loved by anyone, I'm not that perfect girl who cooks clean always look good has manners etc I feel so heartbroken again

 

[LeeHooni]

I'm sorry this happened to you, your feelings matter and are normal. You don't deserve to be played around like this, you deserve someone that can love you proprely, It's takes time to find someone like that nowadays, but it doesn't unvalidate you as a person, i'm sure you are lovable and a good person that doesn't deserve this, trust me on that

 

[Superdeterminist]

That is of course a common girl issue; being used just for sex, while wanting more. For guys the more common issue is being seen only as a friend, while wanting more. Both are surely very painful. Practically they result in the same kind of pain. That of feeling unloved and alone. It is crushing. Love should not exist because it too often goes unrequited. It's one more poor design feature in this universe, if you ask me.

 

[Valky]

I feel you, got told this week that I am delusional if I think I am lovable. By someone who said that they would not lie to me and that they loved me.
We have the same age. Honestly, I just wish that I was gay. I feel like I would get along a lot better with women. All this fragile masculinity bs is going on my nerves.
I hope that you can find someone that you actually deserve. And I am sorry that you got your heart broken as well.

If you wanna become an old granny with 30 pets, let me know cause same.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's just safer to never thirst. I'm working on it, but I still fuck up every few years or so. My most recent experience was the worst one yet. I seriously want to be done with these things, forever. To never yearn or pine for anyone again.

The problem really is that the dynamic immediately shifts once your feelings become clear and it's not reciprocated. There's an instantaneous power imbalance and it's never in your favor if you're the one with the feelings. I do think the cruelest part is how blasé the other person nvariably is while you're feeling like you're dying.

A universe design flaw for sure.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

How disgusting of that guy to use you even after you'd clearly admitted to being vulnerable and emotional about him. He knew that this was going to hurt you, yet he just didn't care. If I were you, I'd post him on your local AWDTSG group so other women can avoid him. I also highly recommend reading the FDS Handbook, which I wish existed when I was younger - I would've been able to avoid so much abuse. They also have a podcast that discusses the same issues, if you're not much of a reader.