Venting I'm too avoidant to live

[Dinozauria]

I avoid all my responsibilities. My parents have been trying to help me clean my room, brush my hair, etc, but I just can't do it. I keep refusing their help, and when they try to have a serious talk with me about it I just start crying because even tasks like the ones I mentioned above feel like too much. Their so worried, but I just can't function like a human being.

Their telling me I have to just "cope with life", or this is just "how life is". I know this and that's part of the reason I want to kill myself. I want to escape because I'm a pathetic loser who can't take care of themselves. I don't even want to feel better, I just want to ruminate.

I don't know how I ended up so avoidant, but it's putting an insane burden on those around me. I don't know why I'm so dramatic, or easily made upset by basic responsibilities I should be able to handle as an adult. I hate seeing others around me living to the fullest, being able to handle things like this.

I have things online that made me want to live until autumn for, but right now I couldn't care less. I just want to die. I can't wait for my life to be over, selfish as it may be

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

Their telling me I have to just "cope with life", or this is just "how life is"

What an awful thing to say. They don't know depression. It can erase all of your energy.

My depression used to be so bad, just doing things in the kitchen for five minutes felt like running a marathon. I had to rest for a whole day to recover from that.

And though I got much better, I still want to die. There's so much I wanted to do still, things I'm very passionate about, like my art, but that part of me is already dead. I can't do it anymore.

You're neither dramatic, nor selfish. Losing yourself like this is utterly cruel.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm extremely avoidant too (I'm forced to stay here like an hermit). It's not my fault. And it's not your fault, you're not a "pathetic loser". Some people and situations just ruined our lives. I think we just didn't have chance. Normies cannot just understand what we feel.

Sending you hugs

 

[Dinozauria]

What an awful thing to say. They don't know depression. It can erase all of your energy.

My depression used to be so bad, just doing things in the kitchen for five minutes felt like running a marathon. I had to rest for a whole day to recover from that.

And though I got much better, I still want to die. There's so much I wanted to do still, things I'm very passionate about, like my art, but that part of me is already dead. I can't do it anymore.

You're neither dramatic, nor selfish. Losing yourself like this is utterly cruel.

I'm extremely avoidant too (I'm forced to stay here like an hermit). It's not my fault. And it's not your fault, you're not a "pathetic loser". Some people and situations just ruined our lives. I think we just didn't have chance. Normies cannot just understand what we feel.

Sending you hugs

Thank you both for such kind words. I'm bad at putting my gratefulness into words but your replies made me feel better. You're both very kind