Venting I’m tired.

[FadingSunshine]

I really just want to get my death over with. I have my plan. I don't have a date. I don't have antiemetics unfortunately so we'll have to go about it through brute force.

However I'm not sure if it's the right decision. To preface, I really don't care whether I live or die, because it ultimately makes no difference. I would be more inclined to die just to speedrun life, and so that I don't have to put any more effort into my own lost cause. However I don't know if I'll be making the right choice, because by committing suicide I'm worried I will ruin the lives of my family members. My original plan was to kill myself sometime after my grandma dies so that she wouldn't have to experience my death, however that could take years and at this point I'm not sure if that's viable. So I'm kind of stuck at a crossroads, where I badly want to die but I don't want to hurt those around me.

And to my friends on this site, don't worry, I'm not going to take action any time soon, and when (or if) I do decide to take action I'll let you guys know. But probably not for a couple more months at least.

 

[Weltall]

It's thoughtful that you take your family into consideration.
It shows that you love them, and value their well-being.

This is a very difficult decision for you, and only you can figure out how to address it.
I wish you luck on your journey.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[Zegers]

Sometimes it feels a lost cause to be happy in this world.